Sunday, January 1, 2012


 Dear Readers,

I'm sorry. I'm exhausted from my efforts to change my blog, and I've only just begun (thank you Carpenters,
as in Karen and Richard).

I've received messages from a couple of readers saying they can access Janie Junebug's Journal, but they can't leave messages.  I ask that you be patient with me until I figure out what's going on. Perhaps I did something wrong with the settings. Anyway, I'd appreciate it if you would try to leave a comment, saying anything you darn well please, and we'll see if the comments work for anybody. Let me know what happens, please.

As for my post today on INTIMACY
I appreciated your comments. Jess, Fran, Julie, Coffey, NFO -- you are all so wise. Jess, I especially like your words about the silver cord.
I don't think I would dare to admit in public that I love someone -- other than my children and my dogs -- because I am so afraid the other person will not return my love. At one time I said I loved my husband. In fact, I said it many times, and he made a fool of me. It's so humiliating to say privately, or even worse publicly, that one is in love, and the other person makes it plain he's not in love. To say privately that you don't return the other person's feelings is bad enough -- to say it publicly and be met with rejection is very nearly unbearable.

The good news is that our pal Bouncin' Barb has agreed to write a guest post on love. She had a wonderful marriage with her late husband, Rich. And I know many of you have great marriages or satisfying long-term relationships. I would appreciate it so much if more of you would tell me what intimacy means to you and what love feels like to you. It doesn't have to be a long post. A paragraph or two will do. Barb does not yet know when she'll write her post, but I'll let you know later when you can expect it.

Here I am, 52 years old. I thought I knew what love felt like. I guess I don't know after all. I only hope to be in love. I certainly do not know what it is to be loved. I am a skeleton woman, with a skeleton man. We hold hands. But how can these bony creatures be in love? Their heads are empty. They stand on pedestals and cannot turn toward one another. Their insides may be on display, but that's it. They represent a man and woman who touch but have no feelings.

I think I have more I want to say, but I don't know what it is. I'm having difficulty keeping my eyes open. I will explain to you, perhaps gradually, why I have changed my blog, who I am, and perhaps provide a little background information.

In the meantime, those of you who feel love, keep it up. Don't let it go. But as soon as you feel humiliated even once by the person you love, kick his or her ass out. Or better yet, give the person one more chance after explaining what has gone wrong for you. Forgiveness is very important. However, please don't put yourself in the position of needing to forgive constantly, or of begging for forgiveness all the time when you did nothing wrong.


Janie Lola


  1. I have nothing to say--I'm just commenting to see if it's working now. Now that I think of it, I comment quite often when I have nothing to say.

  2. Yet we always enjoy what you say, even if you think it's nothing.


  3. And Fran, considering the longevity of your marriage and your writing ability and your sense of humor, I'd love it if you would write a post about what love and intimacy mean to you. I want to know what they are and what they feel like. You could email it to me as a word document, or I could empower you to be an author of this blog while your write.


Got your panties in a bunch? Dig 'em out, get comfortable, and let's chat.