Wednesday, January 18, 2012


All right! It's Whoo-hoo Wednesday because Fishducky is here to entertain us with just a few of her many trials and tribulations, especially involving her toes. Be sure to comment because I know Fishducky will enjoy reading your compliments.

And now  . . .  HERE'S FISHDUCKY!

Now that I’m 77, I’m becoming decrepit.  Which is strange, because I don’t remember ever being crepit.  Or ept.  Or even ane.  You look to be sympathetic.  Let me tell you some of my woes.

I’m diabetic, which has not been much of a problem.  One time, however, I had a sore on my leg which refused to heal.  My doctor thought pure oxygen would help.  He had me go for treatments in a hyperbaric oxygen chamber.  This is what divers use when they get the bends.  This is not for those of you with claustrophobia, which I do not have.  You lie in a coffin-like chamber that has a glass top & sides so you can watch TV.  While you’re in there you breathe pure oxygen.  It’s something “normal” people never need.  The treatments take about an hour each, in a series of about 15.  I usually fell asleep.

My main problem has been with my feet—specifically, my toes.  I refuse to wear shoes unless it’s absolutely necessary.  I never wear them in the house.  When my kids were small & they’d see me wearing shoes, they’d ask where I was going.  I used to give small dinner fancy parties with crystal, china, sterling & bare feet.  I have broken several toes by bumping them into chairs.

The first time I ever broke a toe, my husband & I were playing cards at my sister and her husband’s house on a Sunday evening.  My brother-in-law was a veterinarian.  We decided that he would bandage my foot & I would see my doctor Monday, instead of bothering him on the weekend.  Apparently, my brother-in-law used a LOT of bandage to wrap it, because when I went to my doctor the next day he asked, “Who the hell bandaged your foot?  It looks like a hoof!”  I said, “Funny you should mention that.  My veterinarian did it.”

Another time, I had just had arthroscopic surgery on my knee.  The morning after the surgery, I was in bed when the doorbell rang.  My husband had gone to work.  I grabbed my crutches, which I was not used to using, & started to “run” to the door.  I fell & broke my toe against the wall, trying to protect my knee.  My yelling woke my son, who came out to see what was happening.  He helped me up & got me back into bed, then went to the front door.  The UPS driver had left a package for me.  In it was a beautiful new cane, hand decorated in lace, which a friend had sent me.  If she hadn’t sent it, I wouldn’t have needed it!  Sometimes I feel like the old joke that goes, “Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play?”

I once bought an embroidered pillow for a friend.  Maybe I should have gotten one for myself, too.  It shows the bottom half of a cow, lying on her back, with her udder hanging to one side.  It says, with the letters dragging down, towards the bottom corner, “No, really—I’m f--i--n---e…………”


  1. Ah my friend Fishducky and Janie! What a pair the two of you are! I was right Jane. I had the wrong blog address. I feel better knowing you haven't dropped off the face of the earth. Fishducky PUT YOUR SHOES ON! Number one romper room no no for diabetics! I should know! lol Naughty lady!

  2. I shun shoes whenever possible and even have been known to wear flip-flops in winter. There's something refreshing about going natural.

  3. breaking your toes and seeking treatment in a hyberbaric chamber is no joke, but this post made me smile. thanks :)

    btw, the hyperbaric chamber that my gran used to go to was a huge one that takes in about 3 patients at a time, where elderly patients sit in there for like 2 hours with a small tv in it. there was also a cctv in it from which we can monitor the patients. but the treatments never worked for her as both her legs were amputated one at a time.

  4. haha:) i remember breaking my pinky toe and falling to the ground shuddering in pain. that was no fun! and i was on crutches for a few days before walking so slowly it was like i was underwater. i would have liked to have stayed home but i consider myself a trooper. well, i probably didn't have anymore sick days is what happened:)

  5. Thanks for posting my story, Janie--& now, if you'll excuse me, I'm just going to put my foot up on this chair. AHHH, that's better!

  6. Like Art Linkletter said, "Getting old ain't for sissies!" But having a sense of humor helps. It helps a lot. As for your broken toes, I can relate. Matter of fact, I have one right now, because I smashed into a sofa leg while carrying one of my grandchildren. (Not the first time, either!) But I rarely go barefoot around the house. (Just makes the toe-breaking that much easier, you see.) But a friend gave me some slipper socks that are super. Warm, soft, and fuzzy, with no-slip stuff on the bottom. (Not that they prevent walking into stuff, but they do prevent me from falling on my arse on the kitchen floor.) I wrote about getting older on my blog today, too, and you might get a kick out of the video that's on there.

  7. Fishducky, I'll leave it to you to answer your fans.

    Janie Junebug

  8. Dear Fishducky and Janie,
    I didn't know about the diabetes. The going without shoes makes sense except for those broken toes. I, too, go barefoot around the house and across the street to get the mail. In the winter I wear heavy stockings and sometimes slippers, but I keep them big. Big so my feet don't feel imprisoned. Is that how it is for you, Fran? Is it that you don't like your feet imprisoned or that having shoes on can bring problems with the toes?


  9. You two make a hilarious pair :0)

    P. S. That pillow sounds hysterical!

  10. I have, in the past, broken my leg (6th grade), my right arm (slipping off a curb onto the sidewalk in Beverly Hills--jeez, those paramedics were cute!), my left wrist (I thought I had plenty of time to make that left turn--again, really cute paramedics--must be a prerequisite for the job!) & my left little finger (I have no idea how). I have also broken one or another of my toes somewhere between 4 & 573 times. I HAVE NOTHING BROKEN AT THE MOMENT! Five minutes from now--who knows?

  11. To DEE--I don't even like having socks on. My toes have to be free,to breathe, to live, to explore, to get broken...........

  12. to be amputated . . . I hope not. Aw crap. Now if you ever have anything amputated, I'll feel guilty.

  13. I would like to add that I never broke a bone until I broke my back in five places. Please do not break your back, fishducky. It hurts like a bitch.


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