ROYAL CHINWAG: I AM THEE PRINCESS

Hello. So you have come to see me again. That is good because I have undergone a change I must tell you about. 

I am a very grown-up dog today, no longer the childish dog who said little other than i am princeeeesssss. i am princeeeesssss.

Now, I am thee Princess, 

Protector and 

Comandor. 

Mommy says I am spelling some of my words wrong, but I am quite sure Mommy is the one who is wrong. I spell my words colorectally.

Before best frend Penny went away, she told me I would have to take her place and be in charge of this household. I did not understand her at the time. I was too busy hoping she would play with me again. She told me she could not play and she was sorry to leave me.

I still do not know where she went. Maybe to apart meant, like Auntie Rebekah?

When Mommy so stupidillilly cut her hand with a broken plate, I suddenly realized what best frend Penny had been telling me, so I took over. I comforted Mommy. I stayed close to her. I looked at her with sadness and sympathy in my bootiful brown eyes. I made myself available for any and all petting.

If Mommy had needed more help, I was prepared to run run run outside to get my hooman frend Andrew from the yellow house next door. Andrew likes to sit on his porch to make smoke come from his mouth. If I ran to Andrew and barked HURRY ANDREW HURRY I'm sure he would come to help because he likes me. I wonder if Andrew would give me a cup of coffee. I miss sharing Auntie Rebekah's cup of coffee. 

My hooman brudder and the bootiful lady came to see me. They told me I am a good girl, a bootiful girl, and a sweet girl. I do not need them to compliment me because I know I am perfectly perfect.

They are coming to see me again soon. I allow them to speak to Mommy if they are very well behaveded and do not jump on her, pee on the floor, or steal treats from the kitchen.

Part of my job as Comandor is to be Enforcer Of Rulers. 

I AM CHIEF DOG IN CHARGE OF THIS HOUSE.

I might have more very important news for you soon. For now, I must roll onto my back and smile at Mommy while she rubs my tummy because she thinks I am cute that way. She does not have any good pitchers of me on my back because I am too smart to be caught in such an embarassing posishion. I wiggle around every time she holds up the phone camera so the pitchers are blurry.

Now you must go to your own houses and yards. Do not pee or poop in the yards of other hoomans on the way. It is not polite. Be good, hoomans. 

Go! Go now, hoomans! I am tired of you.

This is what I look like when I wiggle on my back.

YOU ARE NOT GONE. GO HOME NOW, HOOMANS.

INDICT ME ALREADY

 Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

The felon who lives in the White House despises James Comey. Dissatisfied with action he took against Comey during his first administration (firing Comey less than four years into his 10 year-term as director of the FBI and seeing him indicted on federal charges that were subsequently dismissed), a feature of the felon's second administration retaliation tour is a second Comey indictment.

Comey's unforgivable crime was to take a photo of some shells on a beach in North Carolina in May, 2025, post the photo on Instagram and caption it "Cool shell formation on my beach walk."

The shells formed the numbers 86  47. Quelle horreur.

From Justice.Gov>Office of Public Affairs: The Indictment includes two counts, first in violation of 18 U.S.C. § 871, alleging that James Comey, 65, knowingly and willfully made a threat to take the life of, and to inflict bodily harm upon the President of the United States. This charge alleges that on May 15, 2025, by publicly posting an image over the internet via Instagram depicting “86 47”, which a reasonable recipient who is familiar with the circumstances would interpret as a serious expression of an intent to do harm to the President of the United States.

The Indictment also charges Comey in violation of 18 U.S.C. § 875(c), that James Comey consciously disregarded a substantial risk that his communication would be viewed as threatening violence, and that he knowingly transmitted a communication in interstate commerce that contained a threat to injure the person of another, which a reasonable recipient who is familiar with the circumstances would interpret as a serious expression of an intent to do harm to a person.

The felon justifies his weaponization of the Dept of Justice by stating Expert on organized crime, Don John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt wrote on social media: "86' is a mob term for 'kill him.' They say 86 him! '86 47' means 'kill President Trump." (The felon is the 47th president of the United States, was also the 45th, and thinks he was the 46th.)

Although "86" has never been part of my vernacular, I have long known "86 it" to mean "throw out something," or 86 alone means "a restaurant is out of something." Merriam-Webster agrees: Eighty-six is slang meaning "to throw out," "to get rid of," or "to refuse service to." It comes from 1930s soda-counter slang meaning that an item was sold out. There is varying anecdotal evidence about why the term eighty-six was used, but the most common theory is that it is rhyming slang for nix.

I've been posting 86 47 all over the place, so indict me already.

Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

I PULLED A MITCHELL SATURDAY NIGHT

 Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

While some people engaged in dramatic attempted assassination games to help them get their ballrooms that every president for the last 150 years has never said they wanted, I took a few minutes out of the evening to injure myself. I call it pulling a Mitchell because if you have the pleasure of following Moving With Mitchell (Mitchell is one of my favorite people in the world), then you know Mitchell tends to be a bit accident prone.

I had a small, blue-and-white china plate from England that resided on my corner cabinet in the living room for years. I heard a noise one day recently when Princess and I were in the back of the house. The plate had fallen for no discernible reason and split in two. I figured it would be easy to glue it together again.

So Saturday evening I dribbled some super strong glue on one of the broken edges and held the two pieces together as tightly as I could. Then the right side slipped and gouged my left thumb. I don't remember what I said, but it was probably rather profane.

For some reason, I was surprised to see blood.

The white stuff is glue.

It bled quite a bit and for maybe two seconds I thought I should go to the ER or Urgent Care. Then I told myself, Don't be ridiculous. You were a medical assistant. You can take care of this little thing.

I always enjoyed wound care. I grabbed a sterile dressing pad, applied pressure, and held my hand up high above my heart. The bleeding stopped pretty quickly. 

The wound was clean. I rinsed off the blood with soapy water, blotted it dry, and bandaged it. 

It looked like this on Sunday. 

And like this on Monday.

The bruise is nasty, and the cut is still sore. I still bandage it when I leave the house.

But it's healing nicely.

I'm proud of my work.

So the next time you're injured, contact Junebug Wound Assistance. We have a 100% success rate.

If you need stitches, I'll pour some alcohol over a needle, use any color of embroidery thread you like, and get you sewn right up.

Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

TIPPY TUMBLER TUESDAY

Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

When shots were fired just outside The White House Correspondents' Dinner Saturday night, Maybelline Vance's Secret Service detail removed him from the dais first. Then the felon's detail showed up and as they attempted to remove him, he plummeted like the Hindenburg.

Here's a different view of the fall. You don't need to listen to this guy talk. Go to 1:30.

Of course, Cankles McGee wouldn't admit he stumbled and fell in the rush. On Sunday night's 60 Minutes, he told Norah O’Donnell he was down because he wouldn't allow the Secret Service to take him out right away. He wanted to see what was going on and they told him he had to get down while he looked around.

What a load of crap. He wasn't chit chatting with the Secret Service agents.

The felon also used the 60 Minutes interview to trash O'Donnell for reading from the shooter's manifesto.  

O'Donnell didn't say that quotation was about the felon. 

At least one guest at Saturday night's dinner was very unhappy about guns and shooting, and that was sobbing Erika Kirk. "I just wanna go home," she cried.

I have news for you, Erika, staunch supporter of the NRA: The parents of the 436 children killed in school shootings during the past 10 years wish their kids could just come home.

Please make sure you're registered to vote, and

VOTE BLUE

💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙

 

Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

SHOTS FIRED ANTICS ENSUE

 Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

I wasn't interested in watching the Sleeper-In-Chief at the White House Correspondents' Dinner Saturday evening, but I glanced at my phone that night and happened to see shots had been fired at the event so I turned on the TV. 

The shooter was FAST! He flew through the security check point but next thing you knew he was naked on the ground. Was it a true attempt on Cankles McGee's life? 

I'm inclined to believe it was real because the Secret Service treated it the way they should, as opposed to the pretend assassination attempt in Pennsylvania when they let their guy mess around and stick his head out while he pumped his fist in the air. 

I'm also inclined to believe it was not real because, as Carol said, everything he does is a sham. He's a flimflam man, who quickly made it about the ballroom.

Uh, excuse me, Mr. Felon, but the woman walking her dog is called the National Trust for Historic Preservation. The Trust doesn't walk a dog. The Trust doesn't even have a dog.

I'm amused by this guy who calmly continued eating after everyone else took cover or had been hustled out of the room by the Secret Service. The food must have been unusually good.

Now, let's take a look at something much nicer. Last week former President Biden visited his alma mater, Syracuse University Law School, for the unveiling of his portrait. He stood straight and tall. He smiled. He was humble and gracious. No one fell asleep. 

In case you didn't catch it, Joe Biden said, “I hope that long after I am gone your future classmates at Syracuse Law School will see the portrait and they’re reminded not of me, but the greatness and power of our democracy and their obligation to do their part to preserve, protect and defend our constitution."

Seeing him and hearing him brought tears to my eyes. Don't ever say anything bad about Joe Biden to me.

Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

HAPPY, HEALTHY, AND SAFE

Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

I haven't been here in a while because I teleported to Fifth Avenue, NYC, and for some reason couldn't find the departure portal in Saks or Tiffany's. No way will I ever teleport to a Waffle House. 

Temperatures rose so we needed the air conditioning for a few days. Princess is shedding a bit.

We have flowers on the front steps. 

I found this tiny nest when I was trimming some bushes. I sent the photo to Rita. We think it might be a hummingbird's nest.

Working in the yard put some color in my cheeks in place of my usual Casper the friendly ghost pallor.

Gregarious Scott, who lives next door and turned out to be the one who repaired my yard light that Carol so viciously attacked 😏with her car, gave us a doggy swimming pool. He bought it for his and his daughter's snack-sized dogs, but they didn't like it. Princess loves it.

Princess splashes and rolls around in the pool. Then she runs around the yard in circles. I'm not sure what this routine signifies other than pure enjoyment.

In other news, it turns out Kash Patel goes to work drunk and passes out and Pete Hegseth's Christianity is fake (Did you know the Bible was written by Quentin Tarantino? That guy is multi-talented.). Boy, am I ever shocked by Patel and Hegseth. 

NOT

I filled out an application to adopt a particular breed of dog from its rescue group and was told I'd be a perfect fit and could have a dog after I've replaced my deck and part of my fence. I replied that it's going to be quite some time before that happens (can't get people to do the work on the house and deck and cooperation with the neighbor is moving slowly with the fence), and if the dog(s) couldn't come to live here as things are, then I was sorry for taking up their time. As they could see, Princess is happy, healthy, and safe.

No further response. Dogs need homes. I'm a perfect fit. But I can't have these dogs in need because my deck and part of my fence look crappy. 

I was disappointed and dispirited, but we'll find the dog who is right for us.

Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

HAPPY EASTER, PEEPS!