HAPPY, HEALTHY, AND SAFE

Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

I haven't been here in a while because I teleported to Fifth Avenue, NYC, and for some reason couldn't find the departure portal in Saks or Tiffany's. No way will I ever teleport to a Waffle House. 

Temperatures rose so we needed the air conditioning for a few days. Princess is shedding a bit.

We have flowers on the front steps. 

I found this tiny nest when I was trimming some bushes. I sent the photo to Rita. We think it might be a hummingbird's nest.

Working in the yard put some color in my cheeks in place of my usual deathly pallor.

Gregarious Scott, who lives next door and turned out to be the one who repaired my yard light that Carol so viciously attacked 😏with her car, gave us a doggy swimming pool. He bought it for his and his daughter's snack-sized dogs, but they didn't like it. Princess loves it.

Princess splashes and rolls around in the pool. Then she runs around the yard in circles. I'm not sure what this routine signifies other than pure enjoyment.

In other news, it turns out Kash Patel goes to work drunk and passes out and Pete Hegseth's Christianity is fake (Did you know the Bible was written by Quentin Tarantino? That guy is multi-talented.). Boy, am I ever shocked.

I filled out an application to adopt a particular breed of dog from its rescue group and was told I'd be a perfect fit and could have a dog after I've replaced my deck and part of my fence. I replied that it's going to be quite some time before that happens (can't get people to do the work on the house and deck and cooperation with the neighbor is moving slowly with the fence), and if the dog(s) couldn't come to live here as things are, then I was sorry for taking up their time. As they could see, Princess is happy, healthy, and safe.

No further response. Dogs need homes. I'm a perfect fit. But I can't have these dogs in need because my deck and part of my fence look crappy. 

I was disappointed and dispirited, but we'll find the dog who is right for us.

Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

HAPPY EASTER, PEEPS!

 

I SEE THE MOON

 Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

I wanted to howl at the bright, beautiful moon Wednesday night, but Princess refused to join me. Be quiet, Mommy, she said. You'll disturb the neighbors.

Que bella luna, I told her.

Speak German or English, she said, or don't talk at all.

I reminded her I don't speak German, and she turned her back on me. Such a persnickety Princess.

Pam Bondi is out. I wonder if the felon will appoint Little Marco to be attorney general. He's already secretary of state and "acting" national security adviser.  Why not make him AG, too? Appoint him to every position and have a one-man cabinet.

Marco now in charge of Muslims.

Marcus Rubicus Venezuelianus

Marco leads Mass in Latin.

Marco now The Emperor of Man.

Carol had a little accident in my front yard the other day. Her car gave my yard light a love tap. The light still worked, but it was on the ground. I was going to take a picture of it, but when I looked out the window last night, the light was standing up straight. I don't know who fixed it. Maybe softhearted, sympathetic Scott from next door? Maybe someone I don't even know.

If you're wondering why Carol drives in my yard, or even if you're not wondering, it's because when she comes over to my house but we're going out to commit crimes, such as robbing banks or swooping into jewelry stores for a smash-and-grab, Carol parks in the yard and I drive the getaway car because my car is red and, therefore, less noticeable. 

I wait in the car while Carol commits the crimes because no one suspects an 87-year-old woman is going to rob a bank. She's very polite when she asks the tellers to open their cash drawers and get on the floor. 

Princess and I wish you a lovely, restful Easter weekend and the joy of having a Carol in your life who will be your partner in crime, but maybe a Carol who doesn't knock down your yard light (not that I was upset in the least, but she was a little rattled and apologized).

Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

SIGN SIGN EVERYWHERE A SIGN

 

IT MIGHT AS WELL BE SPRING

 Gentle Readers . . .  and Maxwell,

I cut all the frozen, dead leaves from Phil, and he welcomed spring with signs of new life.

I put the plant my daughter-in-law, K, gave to me in a Princess-approved pot.

We have a spot on the side of the front yard where we've managed to grow some plants and flowers.

Our drought continues. We have water restrictions, so I limit my plants and flowers to a couple of drinks a week. We've had gray, cloudy days of late, but rain is limited to brief strings of spitting. 

Princess and I thought this box looked surprised to be in a recycling bin. Perhaps it hoped to become a permanent member of the household where it was delivered.

Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

MADAM SPEAKER

Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

In the World of The China Cabinet, Little Johnson does not exist.

 Nancy Pelosi is the Speaker of The House, and our spotlight is on her because she has a new gavel.

In an interview with Junebug Media, Speaker Pelosi stated: I want to express my gratitude to Janie Junebug's daughter-in-law, K. I felt incomplete without my gavel. Clearly, K is amazeballs. Now I can continue to serve the public and my fellow representatives. I've even taken off my mask so you can see my beautiful face. Now I want to invite the ladies of The China Cabinet to gather around me so they can view my beautiful gavel. They'll see how perfectly it rests in my hand.

Yes, Justice Ginsburg, we know you never lost your gavel. I was not responsible for the loss of mine. It went astray during the dusting tragedy on top of the pie safe that also led to the disappearance of Stacey Abrams' microphone. I would never misplace my gavel. Those who insist on moving me out of the way while using Old English Furniture Oil to clean house had better be more careful or I won't be able to clean house with the representatives!

And now the gentlemen can take a look at my gavel.

Move along now, everyone, We have a great deal to accomplish.I need to begin by tearing up the paper copy of someone's idiotic speech.

Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

PLAYING CATCH UP

 Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

Please pardon me for not visiting you of late. Princess and I have been busy.

I've felt well enough to work more. My last paycheck was $65, which is quite an improvement over the previous check of $7. I know it's not much, but I'm hanging on to my benefits. I have Medicare Part A, but I don't want to deal with the other parts of Medicare while the fuckmonkey remains in the White House, giggling gleefully over all the poor slobs who have to pay more for health insurance. 

I didn't watch, but I know.

Florida is in a drought. We had some rain Friday, but we'll need a lot more before we can enjoy the sparkling waters of Lake Junebug at 

The Lake Junebug

Resort & Rumpus Room

I continue to hope Princess and I will be able to welcome guests this summer.

My birthday came and went during what our beloved Bob of I Should Be Laughing calls Fuckuary for good reason. Favorite Young Man and K spoiled me with cards and gifts, including a button that says Anti-Fascist As Fuck. FYM wrote in his card to me that I'm in my 30s. I texted him to say I don't have a problem with my real age, which is 107. 

K says that one of my gifts hasn't arrived yet. She told me what it is. I'll reveal it to you after it arrives. Suffice it to say Nancy Pelosi will be thrilled when she sees it.

I had to get a new phone a few days ago. My old phone took forever to charge and then didn't hold the charge very long. Android Auto had also stopped working. I am Android Auto dependent in this huge city. Jacksonville is the largest city, geographically, of the 48 contiguous states. Because it was relatively inexpensive, I also got a smart watch in case of emergencies. For now, if I have an emergency, the watch is worthless because I can't figure out how it works. I can access its workings through the phone's screen so I'm sure I'll figure it out. It's charging on its little round thingy right now.

Princess and I had a meet and greet with a six-year-old male German Shepherd who needs a new home. I said no with some regret. He arrived at our home dragging his dad behind him. His current parents admitted he doesn't walk well on a leash. He was also twice the size of Princess. I would not be able to handle such a big, headstrong dog, but I was sad because Princess liked him. She invited him to play a few minutes after exchanging obligatory butt sniffs. I plan on filling out an application with a rescue for dogs of a different breed. I'll let you know what happens.

Please be patient with me when you leave a comment. I love and appreciate you for taking the time to read my words, but I have comment moderation enabled and sometimes it takes me a while before I get a chance to publish comments.

What are you doing for fun or for work? What are you reading? What are you watching? Have you kicked anyone in the butt? Have you given somebody a hand up?

Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

Neil Sedaka
1939 - 2026