Tuesday, August 27, 2019


Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

Sometimes it doesn't matter how many times we proofread. We still make mistakes and don't spot them because our brains automatically correct words that are close to being spelled correctly.

When I was a newspaper reporter, we received dozens of complaints from readers if we had a single misspelled word. Callers would tell us how stupid we were. They'd laugh at us. They'd shout at us. I once said to a colleague, We get thousands of words right every day, but we make one little mistake and people go crazy.

I once wrote manger instead of manager in a graph on the front page. I checked the graph several times. An editor checked it. The graphic artists checked it. Manger still still got past us.

At least I didn't work at the newspaper that made this error:

Keep proofreading! We can't give up even if a mistake gets past us every now and then.

And let's not "shits to Boston."

Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

Friday, August 23, 2019


Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi!

It's me, it's me, Franklin the Bordernese, let's talk quietly please.

Come down here close to the box with the light in it so you can see my face real good. Mom is resting.

Me and Penelope are not happy. Mom going to werk is bad, bad, bad, bad, very bad. You know I'm serious because I didn't tease Penelope by calling her Penlapee.

Some buddy A human bean person said bad things to Mom at werk. The human bean has said bad things to Mom since she started werking at that werk. The human bean said even worse things not too long ago. Mom had to be a tattle tale because she didn't want the human bean to say bad things to other ladies.

An instigator called Mom and asked her questions and questions and questions and questions until she got so tired that she cried. Me and Penelope were upset. Mom doesn't cry very often, and usually when she cries, it's because she's happy.

The instigator asked other people questions, too. The instigator decided that there wasn't any evidence that the human bean person said what Mom told about. The human bean also said he didn't say the bad things.

I say that if there isn't any substantiation (wow that's a big word) that the human bean said things, then there also isn't any substantiation that he didn't say them. And why are that human bean's words worth more than Mom's words?

Me and Penelope never bite. I've never growled. Penelope has only growled once. I think that we can figger out biting and growling. If we find that human bean person, we will growl and we will bite him because Mom is our Mom. She's the only Mom for us. No human bean should be bad to her.

That's all I gots to say except that Mom's bruises are all going away.

Okay. I love you because you are not that human bean person. Bye bye.

I am practicing my growl.

We gots Daddy Dunne Wooters and Human Brother on our side, too. I wonder if they know how to bite and growl. We can teach them if we haf to.

This is how Daddy Dunne Wooters shows that he cares.