Please note that as of tomorrow, or perhaps even this evening, WOMEN: WE SHALL OVERCOME is going underground. Or, in other words, it's going to become a private blog you have to enter as a member. I am too tired of anonymous comments to put up with it anymore. The content of the blog will also change somewhat. I want to spend more time experimenting with my fiction -- fiction that has not been written by Lola. If you prefer not to accompany me on this endeavor, I understand completely, but I'll miss you.
Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,
Are you in what you believe to be a true partnership? Married or unmarried. Gay or straight.
Do you think the other person spends time with you out of a desire to be with you or does that person deign to spend time with you because you complain about a lack of togetherness?
Do you feel you have true intimacy with another person?
Have you ever felt you had true intimacy with another person?
If you have or have had a true partnership or if you have or have had true intimacy with someone, please tell me how it feels. I would love to know. Perhaps someone would even be willing to guest post and tell me what's it's like.
The closest thing I have to a partnership is with My Kathy, but she lives a million miles away and it's not sexual. But we can have a conversation, not see each other for years, and then get together and pick up exactly where we left off. I have never felt that My Kathy forced herself to tolerate me. We laugh uproariously at the same ridiculous and inappropriate things.
The closest thing I have to an intimate relationship (non-sexual, of course) is with my daughter. But I'm not really sure how she feels about me.
But would you tell me, please: What's it like to be loved?
This is my first big question of 2012.
Infinities of love,
Lola
My motto as an editor: Authors are the authority on their work. I'm a full-service editor. For a reasonable fee, I'm your writing coach from the first suggested revision to the correction of the final typo.
If you are loved, you feel so happy that you could hug the whole world!
ReplyDeleteHappy new Year by the way!
Happy New Year to you too!
ReplyDeleteWell, lets's just see here. True partnership, as in 50/50, no. It just doesn't exist. Sometimes I am 70 and he is 30, sometimes 95 and he is 5%. Other times it's the exact opposite. The ability to flex and give each other what we need is why it works.
ReplyDeleteTony and I like to spend time together, but we both spend a fair amount of time apart as well. That's important because otherwise he'd make me crazy.
Our most true intimate moments are not what you'd think. They are moments of ultimate weakness shared or greatest joys, and often that means stepping back and letting the other go it alone. Those moments have been our most challanging, as it involves not doing what we want to do, but what is best for the other one. Does that make any sense?
Tony and I say the key to a good realtionship is to marry (or be) with someone who loves you more than you love them. And then spend the rest of your life trying to proove them wrong.
In a non sexual way, being loved is being important to someone else for reasons other than survival. And of couse, you can't have that unless you are first important to yourself.
Now, on to your privitizing.... why just not use comment moderation or block annon comments?
I think it's all about communication, and the ability to drop the barriers and tell your partner anything without fear of problems. The closest, outside of intimacy, would be combat vets who've depended on each other for their very lives. Those are even closer than lovers, because they truly hold each other's lives in their hands. Sorry to see you go Lady, I've enjoyed reading your blog. Best Wishes!
ReplyDeleteCount me in, please!
ReplyDeleteI have been loved. But I always wonder why? If I were someone else, I’m not sure I would like me, much less love me. But some have. The only real, true love I feel is for Judy and the grandkids. For different reasons of course. Judy is my partner, my buddy. We work great together and I like having her around. The grandkids, I hate to see them go home. They have spent almost every weekend of their life with us and have been on almost all our vacations. Several cruses, weeks in our time-share resorts (when we swap out to new locations) and weekend trips to nearby attractions. I love looking at them, listening to them and learning from them. They are fucking awesome.
ReplyDeleteThat does not answer your question, as you are looking for more personal, intimate answers. I don’t have them. I have just enjoyed several women (when I was single) for different reasons, but none good enough to spend my life with. Sorry!
I would like to go with you to your new place. But I say keep both open. Different kinds of writhing. One for your select friends and one for the pleasure of new visitors.
What do we have to do to keep following your post? I don't want to lose you!
ReplyDeleteWhat's it like to be loved? People have been trying to answer that for centuries. I can only tell you about myself. I love--& am loved by my husband. I do not need him to "complete" me. Our love allows us to be complete in ourselves, while having each other to cuddle with & share the good (much better with him) & bad (not as bad with him) times. We can laugh at & with each other. Yes, we sometimes argue--but not very often. We feel very fortunate to have found each other--our world is a better place because the other one is in it. We will celebrate our 57th anniversary in February. We started dating when I was 15. I cannot remember when he wasn't part of my life.
you don't have to take it underground. email me and i'll explain how to the change the settings for your comments.
ReplyDeleteI've already changed the setting for my comments. Thanks to those of you who offered to help me do it. I will feel more comfortable with a private blog for reasons I'll explain after we get to Oz.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Lola
Only time a patience bring love. Up to that point, it's a mad effort to deal with the thoughts and chemicals that churn in our minds to the point it drives us cloes to madness.
ReplyDeleteSo, what's it like to be loved? It's like being completely content, even though everything seems out of place and chaotic. It's an ember of hope that thrives with only moments of thoughts. It's a silver cord that connects no matter how far the distance.
These are some great comments. Thank you so much.
ReplyDeleteJust checking to see if I can comment again...
ReplyDeleteI don't even know how to answer that question. You'll know when you meet the right man.I can't read what you have in red sorry
ReplyDeletePoor Melynda. If stores sold eyes, I would buy new ones for you and they wouldn't come from Wal-Mart. I'd get the most expensive eyes they have at Saks. The part in red was information about how I was switching to a private blog.
ReplyDeleteI am a widow Lola, no sorry, Janie. So I feel like all I know is intimacy lost. But I am beginning to feel again, and I can feel intimacy through and past this cyber wall. So in a way I am still trying to figure it out myself.
ReplyDelete