Thursday, November 10, 2022

YOU BLOW, NICOLE

 Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

It started to rain at about 10 last night. We awoke to strong winds and heavy rain. Franklin ran right out to do what must be done. Penelope refused. She has her legs crossed until the wind and rain die down or I somehow force her out. She's hiding in my closet.

The forecast calls for a puddle in the living room, with a possibility of poop on the hearth.

I lost my internet connection a few minutes ago, but got it back pretty quickly. When it went off, Alexa turned on all the lights. I asked her to turn them off, and in every room where she lives, her voice echoed, I don't understand. 

I don't understand much of anything, Alexa. 

Nevada and Arizona Senate races remain undecided. I thought Lauren Boebert had been defeated, but the crazy bitch hangs on. Isn't it enough that Marge won her race? Can't we please get rid of Lauren? I don't know if Colorado voters share her insanity or if they vote based on Boebert's entertainment value. Can't they get some streaming services instead? Colorado, watch something on Netflix instead. 

I find plenty of ways to have fun. My dishwasher held a little surprise for me a couple of days ago. A lizard was living in my kitchen. I saw it run under the range one day. A few days later it sought shelter under the refrigerator. After I ran the dishwasher, I saw something in the bottom and thought it was a piece of food. I plucked it out and it felt rubbery. It was the lizard's head. 

Oh, boy. I don't know what happened to the rest of him.

Here's Tropical Storm Nicole at about 10 a.m. We have a tornado watch.


Please explain to me why people vote for Marge and Lauren. In a stupid contest, those two have already defeated a rock.


Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug


29 comments:

  1. Janie, I hope you and the kids will be okay! As for the lizard, all I can say is YUCK.

    Why do American elections always take so long to be decided? Is it the sheer volume of voters? Here in Canada. results are generally final the next day, with few exceptions, like close races demanding recounts.

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    1. Debbie my reply to you is below. Somehow it didn't show up as a reply.

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  2. We're fine. It's still windy, but not raining at the moment. Our elections haven't always taken this long to be decided. The way we vote has changed in many parts of the country and it's changed the counting. We have a lot of people vote by mail now. I think TV networks and election officials are also very cautious about announcing election results since George W. Bush vs. Al Gore. We have a lot of close elections these days. Everyone wants to get it right, except for the losers.

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    1. Glad you're all okay! Ah yes, the famous hanging chad incident; I remember that. It's good to be cautious, because those aforementioned losers will jump at any chance to challenge the outcome, it seems.

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  3. Oh no! The swamp is back. Hope that’s as bad as it gets and you all stay safe, dry, and less stressed. Ew ew ew regarding the lizard. I mean, EW! No matter how they slice it, I’m still angered and saddened by the results so far of the mid-terms. Maybe supporters of those idiots thought they were supposed to voting for the least qualified and dumbest on the ballots. You know, like voting for the ugliest dog.

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    1. It's still very windy. I'll be picking up branches over the weekend. I understand about the election, Scoot. I'm unhappy, too. I hope two of the three undecided Senate races are decided soon. It looks as if both will go for the Democrats. I also can't give up on Warnock on Dec. 6.

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  4. Hope you continue to be OK. Would that Nicole would blow Lauren away.

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    1. Wouldn't that be nice? Blow her so far away that no one ever has to deal with her stupidity again.

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  5. I am baffled, too.
    So sad for the poor lizard. You know how I do like small lizards. Darwin's Law, I suppose.
    Hopefully the storm has passed or will finish shortly. (The political storm rages on, though.)

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    1. I've grown to be fond of the lizards who come in the house, but I try to help them get outside because staying in here means death.

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  6. I sympathize with dogs and rain. We had a dog who wouldn't "go" in the rain, or even go out in the rain. Eventually I thought my sister would murder him, so I took over toilet training. I used an umbrella and called it "Singing in the rain." He got the hang of running out and doing it before the snow fell.

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    1. Franklin doesn't balk at going out unless it's raining very, very hard. Penelope hates it. If I force her out, she'll perform a fake potty so she can get back in. That only leads to her spending more time outside because I send her back until she goes.

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  7. The lizard's head was in your dishwasher? Was this some kind of mafia warning, like the horse's head in that guy's bed?

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    1. I didn't think of that! I must have seriously offended some mafia don.

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    2. Or maybe I offended the lizard king.

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  8. Did you see MTG's tweet? : "I'm sure our enemies are quacking in their boots while we are still over here trying to count ballots." That's not a typo. She wrote "quacking." And she sees the other party as the enemy. Nice. I'm praying for that other one to be declared a loser. Omg, the two of them are soooo embarrassing.

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    1. I didn't see that one. She's probably too busy with her covfefe to take time to listen to the quacking.

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  9. That lizard-head story is very Florida.

    I've learned that Lauren's district encompasses both Democratic eastern slope Colorado (Aspen, Pueblo) and super-conservative western slope Colorado (Grand Junction, assorted tiny farming hamlets). It's interesting looking at the county-by-county results. Her support is much stronger along the Utah line than in the central and eastern parts of her district. But apparently (DAMMIT) it's strong enough for her to just barely hang on.

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    1. I need to check the news to see where her race stands. I knew we'd be stuck with Marge, but I sure would like it if we could at least get rid of Lauren.

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  10. I trust you stayed safe. Voting for those 2, among others, is the question of the ages, isn't it?

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    1. We came out of the storm with no more trouble than picking up some downed branches. It certainly is the question of the ages.

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    1. I didn't even bother to scream, IT'S A LIZARD HEAD!

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  12. Lizard's head... yick!

    You've had quite a week. Fortunately, a slim majority of American voters found sanity. This time.

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    1. Who know what will happen during the next election?

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  13. Oh, sweetie, I don't know what to say. I've lost track of all the stupid people. I don't even know who Marge or Lauren are. I think Marge has blue hair and a son, Bart. Oy vey.
    Love you.

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  14. You really don't need to use the hearth. Or don't you have a bathroom? ;-)

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    1. That's right, Penwusser. No bathrooms here in the Little House On The Swamp.

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Got your panties in a bunch? Dig 'em out, get comfortable, and let's chat.