Tuesday, November 22, 2022

BEWITCHED BOTHERED & BEWILDERED AM I

 Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

If you don't want to read my bitching and moaning, then exit through the gift shop now. I need to vent before Thanksgiving arrives and I'm required to display faux gratitude.

Yes, Penelope was correct when she said I am going to my friend Rebekah's house for a Thanksgiving repast, and tomorrow I'm going to bake bread as my contribution to the meal. I thought it would be a good idea to clean the kitchen prior to baking in an effort to keep Rebekah and her family from finding dog hair in the bread. So last night I started cleaning by removing Diet Pepsi from boxes sitting on the counter and putting the cans in the refrigerator (yes, Rudy Giuliani and I are Diet Pepsi drinkers, or at least one of us is). 

In so doing, three cans broke free from a box I opened and flung themselves on the floor. One burst open and sprayed soda all over me, the kitchen cabinets, and even made it to the range. By the time I finished cleaning up the soda, I was too tired to clean the kitchen. I'll try again after work today. 

Yesterday as I prepared by blog post, I was excited about what I would do with photos of the fine folk on the mantel. Nancy Pelosi deserves music and fireworks and I don't know what all. I love having fun with photos. So I pulled up the first photo and went to edit it, and most of the features are gone. I can still add text and crop photos, but the fun stuff is gone. No more music or special effects. I updated to Windows 11 when it became available (which I regret; I should have held onto 10 as long as I could), so I suppose this is a consequence, although I Googled the problem and answers said the same photo editing is available in 11 as in 10. Where? Where the hell is it available? IT'S NOT FUCKING THERE. 

I loved adding bubbles to a photo of Ron DeSantis and creating Dodge The Lightning, a game for kids at the Lake Junebug Resort & Rumpus Room.

Someone please tell me how I can have fun with my photos again, and put it in terms you'd use for an idiot because I am technologically challenged in spite of my constant use of computers for work and blogging and other stuff.

I'm not even sure how I did what I did before. All I know is that I can't find it now. FUCK!

Now here's the last item on the agenda for my bitchfest. I have other things to complain about, too, but I'll let them wait.

Remember this ass? It's gone.


I am very fond of the butt, and of the man, but I ended the relationship on a Saturday during October. I had prepared a lovely dinner for us, expecting Sweet Cheeks to arrive around 6 p.m. after he had watched his stupid football game. At 7, I hadn't heard anything from him, so I ate supper. At 8, I received an email in which he said he didn't feel well because his team had played so badly; thus, he was not coming over.

I replied with You wait until now to tell me? Fuck you!

I followed that up with another succinct message stating the obvious: He doesn't care about me the way I care about him.

He replied, saying that he was wrong to wait so long to tell me he wasn't coming over, that he had games the next few Saturdays, and is on call Thanksgiving week, so he wouldn't be over for a while. He did not apologize, and apparently he did not understand my fuck you. It's over. I'm done. 

He's done this shit before––waiting until late in the evening to tell me he's not coming over, or not showing up at all.

One aspect of our lack of communication that you might have noticed is email. We were together, on and off, for almost 10 years. During that time, I think I spoke to him on the phone two or three times. He texted once. Other than that, all communication has been in person or by email––his choice. I can't give him a call to ask a question or confirm a time because he doesn't answer his phone. No way to call him to tell him about an emergency.

And what kind of a person gets sick because his bad football team played badly? His team has always been bad. It's not a shock when they don't play well. Even if they were a good team and they played badly, that is not a reason to get sick. 

I'm pretty okay with not seeing him anymore, except for one thing:


Pardon my candor, but he doesn't have to try. He knows where it is, and he knows what to do with it.

I asked him once how he got to be so good. He said, It's instinctual.









Before you know it, I'll be writing sad


Nothing interesting has happened in my bed since the middle of October. No cuddling. No warm skin to fondle. No fondling of me!

I also enjoyed talking to him. Our political views are pretty much the same (he's a little more liberal than I am). We had great, in-depth conversations. 

Another man expressed an interest soon after I ended it. I rejected myself for him, telling him I'm too old. Then I thought about it and  decided to invite him over to dinner. He said, I'll have to see what I'm doing this weekend.

Obviously, that's a no. We haven't really spoken since then, and he certainly hasn't sought me out. Now I'm embarrassed when I go to the office, which I do as rarely as possible.  I never should have mentioned age. Now I can't stop fantasizing about him.

What am I going to do? Don't tell me to go to a bar to pick up some guy. I didn't do that when I was young. At age 63, it's definitely not happening now. 

I want a reliable man who will engage in in-bed antics with me on days and at times I require attention. The man has to show up when he says he will, he has to be a Democrat, and he has to be a good conversationalist who is not smug like X.

So, here are your tasks: The soda in the kitchen is cleaned up. You don't have to worry about that. But you do have to tell me where the photo editing stuff has gone, and you have to find an appropriate man for me. You may turn in individual responses, but group work is also allowed.

GO!

Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

25 comments:

  1. Rough stretch. Sorry the X didn't work out.

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    1. X was my husband of 30 years. He's long gone. Sweet Cheeks was an acquisition in 2013.

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  2. You know what? I'd be miffed (and I don't go that-a-way easily) with one who didn't come over to a prepared meal because "their team" (it isn't, let's be real) lost. Not even if *they themselves* were competing and lost would that be okay.

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    1. I'm more than miffed, especially by him saying HE has games for several more Saturdays. No, he doesn't. A college football team has games. Being that invested in a football team that always plays badly is ridiculous.

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  3. LOL! Don't ask me! I haven't been fondled since 1993. Difference is, I am not bothered by it at all--ROFL! I know I am much, much happier alone than I ever was with any of my men.

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    1. I don't want to live with a man. I just want one around once a week or so. I didn't miss fondling when I got divorced, but when Sweet Cheeks got to be good at it--oo la la.

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    2. I'm no good with computer stuff, either--ROFL! ;)

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  4. Can't help you with the photo editing software. I don't have Windows, I have an iMac. And as a lesbian, I'm no help in finding men either!

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    1. Maybe I need to join the other team. I'm sick of men.

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  5. I am so sorry to read this - and wish I could help.

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  6. Janie, my sympathies for your troubles. You and Sweet Cheeks have hit a rough patch, and he acted badly, but don't discount the history you have together. Is there no chance for reconciliation? Barring that, I have no advice to give, as I've been married for almost half a century. I wouldn't have a clue where to find another man! But a good sex toy might help. ☺

    About your photo editing issue, apparently, Microsoft has a new version of their software. LINK

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    1. Thank you for the link. Maybe that's what I'm looking for. I have a vibrator that Sweet Cheeks gave me, but it's not the same. As far as him being busy until after Thanksgiving is concerned, the truth is that I won't have to reject him again. He won't come back on his own, and I'm not going to chase him. He holes up in his apartment by himself and that's what he likes. He works, reads, and eats. The only time he left was when he came to my house. He never even goes in a grocery store.

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    2. He sounds like a strange one! Good men are hard to find, but you never know. One might come along when you least expect it. In the meantime, I wish you a Happy Thanksgiving! 🥂

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    3. Thank you. Rebekah's Thanksgiving dinner was excellent.

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  7. Sorry, the only thing I can help with is kitchen clean-up. Can’t believe you found one of the few men who actually know how to find the clit. Of course, not reliable in any other way. I'm good with Mac technology. However, my magic moose froze yesterday on my new iMac. I've tried everything I know and it's still frozen. So, I'm using my laptop this morning. As you said it so well, FUCK.

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    1. He didn't seem to know where it was at first, but when he figured it out, WOWZA! Fuck your iMac. Fuck technology.

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  8. Sorry to hear that your relationship has come to an end, but I think you were taken advantage of anyway. Good luck from here on out.

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    1. Yes, I agree that in some ways he took advantage of me, but he was also very generous and helped me tremendously when I really needed it.

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  9. Sorry about that nice ass being such a bad ass. Someone new and better will come along when you least expect it.

    But I cannot help but giggle at the Diet Pepsi Fountain in your kitchen.
    xoxo

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    1. I have always liked his compact butt. X had a big, hairy butt. When the can burst, I yelled SHIT, but it will make for a good story.

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  10. Oh, Janie. I'm so sorry. Is it possible that SC has ADHD or is on the autism spectrum? Sometimes that behavior (including the strange yet presumably honest excuse) is a hallmark of one or the other. I have no idea about the photo editing stuff but I'm sure someone else will. As for the soda, at least it was diet and not the sugary kind. At least that's what I told myself when I had to clean up a 2-litre bottle of it :D

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    1. Oh, no! A bottle that big must have made a terrible mess, but it's somewhat easier to clean when it doesn't have sugar. I haven't ever thought of Sweet Cheeks as being on the spectrum. As for ADHD, he doesn't have difficulty focusing on his work. I'll think about the spectrum possibility. I've always thought some of his behavior is a bit strange because he's so hard of hearing and doesn't like to put himself in situations where he needs to hear people and can't. He is also the oldest of six kids (I'm the youngest of six), and he could be bossy.

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  11. Sorry things didn't work out, Janie! I wish I had some sage advice but nothing comes to mind. I met the most amazing man in the world online and it worked out beautifully. I know it's not for everyone but I know quite a few people that have been successful with online dating and they are now in very happy relationships. That's all I've got for you! Happy Thanksgiving!

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    1. Sweet Cheeks and I met online, but I don't feel up to online man shopping, at least for now.

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Got your panties in a bunch? Dig 'em out, get comfortable, and let's chat.