Monday, February 23, 2015


If you DVRed or Tivoed the Academy Awards and you don't want to know the winners till you have time to watch the show, 
then please don't read this post.

Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

It's about 10:45 EDT as I begin this post. My overall reaction to the Oscars until a few minutes ago––other than Patricia Arquette––was huh? uh . . . eh . . . Is that all there is?

Then In Memoriam came on. I saw Robin Williams. Tears. Someone, I don't know who she was, accepted an award earlier and mentioned a member of her family who committed suicide. She said something to the effect of We need to talk about suicide out loud. How true. I think suicide will show up on my blog this year, but not because I committed it.

Now let's talk about the other crap stuff chuff I've seen so far. We're at 10:55. Wait a minute--there's actually a good best song nominee from Selma. It's John Legend (beautiful voice) and Common, who raps. I'm glad he brought up the tragedy in Ferguson. This number is powerful, and it just won the best song award. NOW some other stuff:

  • Maybe I'm disappointed in the host because I expected too much of Neil Patrick Harris. I thought he would have an amazing opening number with great singing and dancing. It was okay.
  • Neil Patrick Harris is not funny––at least not tonight. Stripping down to his underwear in an homage to Birdman did not amuse me.
  • I haven't heard a single presenter say something funny.
  • Neil Patrick Harris said something about Oprah that supposedly was based on her wealth, but I think it was really a poundage dis.
  • Jared Leto is prettier than anyone else in the place.
  • How does Jennifer Lopez get her breasts to stay up so nicely inside her low-cut gown? Maybe they're taped.
  • Every time they show Michael Keaton, who is nominated for Best Actor in Birdman, the guy is chomping on something. Gum? A cow chewing her cud? Shut your freaking pie hole, dude, until/if you win. (He didn't.)
  • Lady Gaga's dress is weird.
  • It's 11:16. Lady Gaga changes into a pretty dress and performs a tribute to The Sound of Music because of its fiftieth anniversary. I like Lady Gaga, but I did not know she could pull this off. The woman belongs on Broadway. I had no idea she has such a wide range. Fricking bloody hell I'm impressed, and the lady is getting a well-deserved standing O. Now she's in Julie Andrews' arms. Julie looks a little emotional. The tears are back in my eyes.
  • One of the screenwriters thanked his dog, Larry.
  • Who in the hell names a dog Larry? Franklin feels quite superior.
Now, let's talk Patricia Arquette. She was considered a sure thing for Best Supporting Actress in Boyhood. I thought she was great. Yeah, she won. I love her for her acting and because she looks like a regular woman. She doesn't weigh ninety pounds. She's pretty. Her face isn't frozen in place by plastic surgery. BEST OF ALL, she said it's time for women to take their place as equals with men, to have equal pay. This cause is one of mine, and I was thrilled by the way Arquette let loose.

The Academy Awards took away Patricia's full speech that I posted. Selfish pigs. So now you just get this news clip.

I also loved Meryl Streep cheering on Patricia.

The guy who wrote the screenplay for The Imitation Game just gave a good, emotional speech. He says he tried to kill himself when he was 16 (?) because he felt different from everyone else. Fricking public schools want to churn out cookie cutter kids (my words, not his). No child left behind, my ass. Every child is unique. It's crazy to expect that they'll all do the same thing.

It's 11:40.

Eddie Redmayne just won Best Actor for portraying that schlub Steven Hawking. So Eddie slouched in a wheelchair and used Hawking's creepy voice. I look forward to seeing all the nominated performances so I can decide if Redmaybe deserved the win.

Best Actress--Julianne Moore. Whatever. I hope her performance is half as good as her acceptance speech.

Eeeww. I had a cookie and milk. Shouldn't have. Now I'm too full.

Okay. Best movie--Birdman. That's it. I'm ready for bed.

Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug


  1. Lady Gaga was amazing. She wore two dresses. I didn't care for the first, but liked the second. She was like your Jimmy Fallon to Johnny Cash, singing Julie Andrews.

    I liked Naomi Watts.

    I'm sad Boyhood didn't win. I turned off the TV in protest, but Birdman is on my list.

    1. I liked the second dress, too. I have all the movies with major nominations in my queue. We'll see if we approve of Birdman. You know I wanted Boyhood, too.

  2. I agreed with every bullet point you made - especially the point that on one said anything funny. The really funny lines are the best part! Award shows are always on my radar - I love them, and I love to do a wrap up of them, but you are basically saying everything I thought, too. I'm changing my post for tomorrow, ha ha.

    If I ever win an award (unlikely), I am going to thank Coco, Hubzam, Janie and Shady - then all the little people. You know, the ones who are 5'3" and under.

    Birdman has been getting so much chatter and I didn't get to see it. Netflix, don't fail me now. I expect to see that in my list and soon! I noticed him licking the sides of his mouth, too. Nerves? Snack junkie? He is a Pittsburg boy. Trivia: His real name is Michael Douglas, but he changed it for obvious reasons. Wonder why Michael Douglas did change his - The Mike Douglas Show was very popular before Michael Douglas hit his stride. But then there's that whole daddy Kirk tie in...

    Did you want Ida? It garnered an award and so I'll give it a look-see.

    Jared Leto IS prettier that 95% of the crowd and he can sing. What's not to like?

    Happy, happy, happy birthday. I'm going to say it 56 times.

    1. I haven't seen Ida, but I will. I think it's on streaming. I'm 5'5". Are you sure I'm big enough to thank? Michael Keaton? Michael Douglas? Mike Douglas? What the heck?

  3. The only movie I've seen that was up for an award was The Grand Budapest Hotel, and I really didn't like it, except maybe for set design which i think it won.

    1. I'm a Wes Anderson fan. I think he was finally getting some recognition that he deserved long ago for Rushmore and The Royal Tennenbaums.

  4. Eddie did not deserve to win and he reminded me of a young Austin Powers. I only have seen Michael Keaton but he was better than Redmayne in my opinion. Neil Patrick Harris was not good and I think he knew it by the end of the show. Patricia redeemed herself with the ending of her acceptance speech but I liked the Graham Moore's much better(about suicide). J-Lo's boobs were taped and squashed and hated the dress. Not into the pearly thing of Lupita's either. Jared looks like he needs a halo and a disco ball. Michael Keaton needed to be slapped by his mom to get that gum out of his mouth. regardless whether it should be there or not I am glad they highlighted The Sound Of Music and I was stunned by Lady Ga-Ga's performance. I also love Julie Andrews.

    1. This comment should win an award. I wasn't allowed to chew gum when I was growing up, so I don't chew it now. Michael did need to be slapped. You are so right. DISCO BALL! That's what Jared was missing.


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