Monday, February 9, 2015


Lady Mary exited her room,
saw Edith and said,
My sister, I presume?
Why must you look so ghastly?
You always seem ashamed.
If you were more as I am
we wouldn't have you to blame.

You knew I'd marry Patrick
so you made him your pal.
Played hide-and-seek and tiddly winks
behind our backs, even climbed the trees.
No one really cared.
No one noticed where you were,
while I learned to walk as if floating on air.

You thought you'd somehow steal him.
At the altar you would stand.
I can tell you no such thing would have happened.
It wasn't part of the plan.
Granny saw your scheme
and told me to ignore you.
I felt quite pleased to comply.
As far as I was concerned, you could simply curl up and die.

Anna, bring out my tiara.
I'll need it for tonight.
The one with the largest diamond
that is called the Crawley stone.
Suitors will be coming.
I have money and a name.
I'm happy I married Matthew.
Nothing will ever be the same.

Now here we are, it's Saturday morning.
I'm not sure why I left my bed.
Anna will bring my breakfast
of toasted, warm bread.
I suppose the truth is I come to the hall
to watch you, Edith,
to watch your back as you walk down the stairs,

The spinster eating breakfast in the dining room,
that is my comedy and your doom.
If Patrick were to return now
and you should turn his head,
it wouldn't matter anyway.
He no longer has a claim.
He is considered dead.

So I shall be the countess.
Downton will be mine.
Matthew was a sweet husband.
He gave me little George,
but even better he gave me my estate
where nothing will ever, ever be yours.


  1. Wow. Downton Abby? I need to watch it.

  2. It wasn't part of the plan. Yeah right, and Bob is my uncle.

  3. Beautiful. I enjoy your poetry and hope you're submitting this somewhere. I'm still pondering the line "he is considered dead." The word "considered" is a nice touch.

  4. Hello Lady Janie!

    First footman Shady here (and always doubting Thomas). This is a smashing poem about the smug and snooty Lady Mary. I've looked into my Downton crystal ball and see poor unattractive Edith becoming a habitual fire starter and a hunted criminal, shifting the focus away from the investigation into Mr. Bates in the murder of Mr. Green.

    Happy Monday to you, dear friend Janie!

  5. I haven't followed for a while. Is that fan fiction, or reality?

  6. Nope, still not tempted. Fun synopsis.

  7. All over the English countryside
    The Crawleys are showing their backsides
    Where money's concerned
    There's much to be learned
    And still more for Granny to chide

    (and so, I'll tune in next week...)

  8. I love Mary and her feistiness. And I miss Matthew, but he's off doing bad ass action movies now, so you can't blame him for leaving. I'm not so much a fan of whiny Edith, but someone did make a site called "Lady Edith with googly eyes", and well, it more than makes up for her annoying behavior.

  9. Fun poem. I don't like Lady Mary very much. She doesn't want to think of herself as special or "titled in privilage," but she does exactly what she wants no matter who gets hurt.

  10. A little of this came out last night as Edith was challenging Mary for being calloused about her loss. Mary turned on her right away, and now she is away on and her own. Anxious to see what is going to happen next.!

  11. Cherdo's convinced me to start watching this show soon.

  12. Oh poor Edith and her missing, possibly dead, man. Marry is quite the um, lady isn't she regarding her sis. It is such a delicious show and my hubby's favourite and mine:) Great poem

  13. I love this so much I am swooning. I watched all of season 5 in one sitting this past weekend. I can't get enough!

  14. Mary...Mary...she really does need a crown on her new bob.
    Poor Edith. But she has finally taken a stand. Whoohoo! ;)

  15. I have never seen Downton Abby, but this was a very good poem. Thanks.

  16. Ooh, I love it! And it makes me really want to get caught up on Downton! I haven't had any time, but I miss that show, it's awesome.

  17. Ok never seen the show but liked this anyway

  18. I've never watched "Downton Abbey" (I know! The shame of it all!) but I do like your poem. Heck, if I'd known you were poetically inclined, we coulda included you in our "Old Broads Waxing Poetic" book. Um, not that you're an old broad. No, of course not. (Some of the other gals in the book aren't old, either.)

  19. Very nice! I don't watch Downton, but this kinda makes me want to.

  20. Well now. I've just finished season 2 and I think I know what's going to happen next....



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