Monday, January 11, 2016

BOOK NOOK: WOMAN ON THE VERGE OF PARADISE BY ROBYN ALANA ENGEL

Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

How about a book that's funny and sad, but uplifting? You want it. You got it.

I promised you a good book today, and here it is: Woman on the Verge of Paradise by our friend, Robyn Alana Engel, who blogs ever so hilariously at Life By Chocolate.

My purchase of this book represents the only time I've ordered (I shop online; I'm a recluse in real life) a book because I thought the cover was amusing:


Then the mail carrier deposited the book in the box nailed next to my front door, where I can't fence in the front yard or I have to move my mailbox all the way out to the curb, which is like ten miles away, and I looked inside the book and learned the cover was designed by Bryan Pedas of A Beer for the Shower, so, duh, it's no wonder the cover is great. I like the back of the book even better, but you have to buy the book to see the photo of our author, who appears to be in pain because she has something in her eye. Maybe a contact lens.

Engel describes her work as "creative non-fiction" or "memoir-ish." She also does not recommend the book for

1) Children
2)The Narrow-Minded or
3) Martha Stewart

Boy, am I glad I'm not on that list because I happen to love Woman on the Verge of Paradise, which henceforth I shall refer to as Paradise because it's where I live: Paradise, Florida, with palmetto bugs, rats, feral cats so well fed they watch the rats stroll around, gigantic locusts, and my own private Lake Junebug when it rains enough.

When Engel refers to her book as memoir-ish, I think it's because she changed some names to protect the guilty; i.e., I don't believe she was married to a man named Justin Case.

Pardise begins with the kind of sex dream I wish I had, and gets even better when the author awakens and wants breakfast:

"Food." I like food. "Must eat."
I find myself in the kitchen attempting to pour Kashi in a bowl, but realize I neglected to open the box. So I open the box. 
Milk is needed. The microwave doors swings open, seemingly by my own hand. Oops.

Of course, Paradise has more to it than Engel's sophisticated culinary skills. She takes us on her journey through life--so far--including her mom's death from cancer, a marriage that maybe had great potential but didn't quite work out, and a lot of dates with a lot of men. Good men. Bad men. In-between men. Creepy men. Weird men. Men so weird they're scary, and men so weird they're funny.

One date shows her his hot wax vat and his birds. Best line in the book: To my credit, I didn't touch his cockatiel.

Ultimately, what I love the most about Paradise is that Robyn Alana Engel learns that the pumpkin will not turn into a coach, glass slippers would hurt like a bitch, and she is not Cinderella and doesn't need to be Cinderella. Robyn Alana Engel is a complete person, not in need of a man, though she'll take a good one if he should happen to come along.

Woman on the Verge of Paradise earns The Janie Junebug Seal of Highest Approval. I purchased my copy from Amazon at http://goo.gl/1wm3Wa.

However, Ms. Engel has informed me that she will give you a copy of her book in exchange for an honest review. If you would like to read and honestly review Woman on the Verge of Paradise, please email me at dumpedfirstwife.blogspot.com, and I'll pass along your most personal information to the author (remember to include bank account numbers, but that's just for me).

Or you can email the author herself at Rawknrobyn@aol.com.

Happy reading!


Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug


58 comments:

  1. Thanks for the reccommendation--I just bought it!!

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    1. Fishducky, you are so reliable. If I said a book was a piece of shit but on that particular day I recommended shit, I think you would buy it.

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  2. This was so fun to read. You summarized the book so eloquently, Janie. I was about to order, but I remembered that I have approx 200 copies at home. Thank you! Thank you!

    I didn't know you live in Paradise. When I was thinking of a title, I'd googled the number of Paradises in the US. I forget the number, but it's a lot.

    And I appreciate dishonest reviews too. I appreciate them all. Today, I appreciate you most of all, and I'm honored.

    Much love and gratitude.

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    1. You're welcome, but I don't live in Paradise. I've been a good fer nothin' liar all my life. I live in Jacksonville, in an area called Murray Hill, which makes some people frown, and I have to tell them I live in the nice part of Murray Hill that has a/an historical preservation association.

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    2. But isn't all of Florida Paradise? Drats, I may have to re-think my vacation plans.

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    3. When it's cold and pissing rain, I always think about the people on vacation at DisneyWorld who thought it would be warm enough to go swimming outdoors.

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  3. It is gobsmackingly wonderful isn't it?
    I laughed, I wept, I may have wet myself, and I mourned that I couldn't give her a hug.

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    1. I hope you posted a review on Amazon. EVERYBODY wants to know if you peed yourself.

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  4. Great review--I need to get this book on my overgrown tbr pile.

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    1. I'm obsessed with books. I have an entire shelf and a half of books I haven't read yet, because what if it's the middle of the night and I need a new book to read? I can't go out and buy one. I can order from Amazon, but it takes two days for my books to arrive. Therefore, I must have a healthy supply on hand.

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  5. I read and enjoyed Robyn's book too. She's a very funny and witty writer!

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  6. Janie, you have my email, and I would be glad to do a review. It would be fun to do an exchange with Robin, although it looks like totally different writing. Thanks for the tip. Looks like a good read, especially with your approval.

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    1. Her style is different from yours, but both books have dating and some creepy men. I think the two of you will get along because you are a Lutheran as am I, and we try to be nice to everyone. I'll give her your email address.

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    2. I'm happy to do an exchange, Linda. I'll email you. Janie forwarded your contact info. Thanks!

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  7. Janie...and Maxwell, I am glad you liked Robyn's book. So did I. I hardly had to get in touch with my feminine side to enjoy the heck out of it and learned even more about women, which is always a good thing. Robyn has had to deal with a lot of strange men. They seemed alright at first, but they had "issues" and hidden agendas, much like politicians. Even if I never meet her, she will always have a place in my heart. I'll know it is her place by the chocolate stains.

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    1. It's so cool that she can always be found by the chocolate stains. I wish I had something like that. You will find me when you see . . . what?

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    2. I know, Janie. *blushing, head down and staring at my shoes.* I kinda love him too.

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    3. Would you like me to get his phone number and maybe you can call him to say hi?

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  8. Robyn's book sounds excellent. I've seen it before, but I never really closely examined the cover. It is pretty funny!

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    1. She's a nice woman. You're a nice woman. You two need to be best friends.

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    2. Sherry is very nice. We haven't yet become besties, but we've exchanged smiles at the water cooler and during lunch breaks.

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    3. Perhaps the next step is trading sandwiches.

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  9. Ah, thank you kindly. Janie, you started something for which I'm most appreciative. Turns out, too, fishducky and I grew up in the same neighborhood! She started reading my book, and we've made that connection. Pretty exciting.

    Sage, it's a quick read, if that helps. I say this because it's fairly long, but several of my friends finished it within one sitting.

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    1. I bet you can't live in fishducky's neighborhood now. I can't, either. I can barely live in my neighborhood. People come around at night with torches (not the English kind that are really flashlights, but the big sticks on fire), and they try to lure me out of my house to make me leave. I won't go. They stop just short of arson.

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    2. With prices what they are today, if I had to buy my house now, I'm not sure that I could afford to live here, either!!

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    3. I lived in Santa Monica when there was rent control, and I paid $400/month for a bedroom is a large charming 2-bedroom apt. It was wonderful - minus the psycho roomie. There's always something.

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    4. My daughter who says I'm not funny had a studio in Oakland. I think it was about 800-1,000. We had a distant relative who sold her house in LA because for some strange reason she wanted to live in Texas. She didn't stay long, but when she returned, she couldn't afford to buy a house.

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    5. Yeah, one can't afford to buy in the SF Bay Area, LA, NY, or Miami unless one is Trump or some rich bastard.

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  10. It sounds like an amazing read.

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  11. Wonderful review.
    I must admit I didn't feel I needed a man to be happy but I thought it would be nice, I was in love.... so we married.
    Then many years later, he left a message on the answering machine to say he was leaving. So I raised the children, gud dugs and kitties and found out even with all my health problems I was so much happier without him. Even though he still tries to make my life hell.
    The book sound great but I will have to wait to read it.

    Thanks for the terrific review.
    cheers, parsnip and thehamish

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    1. Perhaps thehamish will read it aloud to you, and at random intervals insert "yert" and "chiken."

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    2. With that story, it's a must read for angryparsnip. For each "oy vey" they can insert "Has the wheel been invented yet?"

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    3. That's funny. I love Gayle, but I confess I love thehamish even more. I understand when my followers seem to enjoy Franklin and Penelope's posts more than my posts.

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  12. Hey Janie,

    Nice write up on Robyn's book. It heartens me to see Robyn getting around, as in getting around on a number of blogs who note such good stuff about her book.

    Janie and Robyn, you are both awesome. As for Maxwell, haven't got a clue who you mean, gentle writer.

    I'm outta' here......

    Gary :)

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    1. Maxwell is the love of my life, who was killed in a tragic bass fishing accident.

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    2. I never knew either. So sorry, Janie. xo
      Thank you, Gary. He's a wonderful man, isn't he, Janie? xo

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    3. Yes, he is a wonderful man, and so was my darling Maxwell.

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    4. Sadness for you. It is sweet how you keep his memory alive with every blog post, though. I like that.

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    5. My darling, darling Maxwell. Gone, but not forgotten, except when I'm drunk or in bed with someone else.

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    6. I don't know how you can make a joke at the expense of the dead love of my life.

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  13. What a great review and this is on my list to buy actually. She is so funny, inventive and has a true heart.Glad you reviewed the book

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    1. Buy, buy, buy! Buy for yourself. Buy for your friends. Get out that credit card and buy! (Not that I'm trying to push you into something you don't want to do. I think Robyn has about two hundred copies. You can handle those, can't you?)

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    2. I love it, Janie. Yes, yes. Brigit can handle 200 copies. Right, Brigit? Of course. They're on the way...Hold on, I'm heading for the post office now! So excited. Thanks, Janie.

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  14. I loved the hell out of this book from cover to cover, and not just because I designed said cover. :) It's always fantastic to see just how many people this book has touched - whether it's a heart string or a funny bone or both.

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    1. Robyn touches me all the time. I think I need to tell my mommy and daddy. Oops! They're dead. I'm an orphan.

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    2. You are so silly. I'm an orphan too. So watch out for my busy fingers.

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    3. Okay. You made me laugh. I need to go to bed.

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  15. Any book that you give approval definitely goes on my must-read list! If Robyn is still look for reviewers, send along my email address (jennifer@jenniferwilliamsfields.com). If she already has enough than I will still buy it and read it. It sounds right up my alley!

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    1. I sent your email address to Robyn. Get ready. She'll make you laugh.

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