Sunday, May 1, 2022

PENELOPE SPEAKS: I HAVE MADE A JOKE

 Hello. It is I, Penelope.

First, I want to show you a photograph of myself in my soft jammies.


Am I not adorable?

Now, I will tell you my hilarious joke. I made up a nickname for Auntie Maureen. I call her Auntie More More!

That funny name is perfect for her because I want her to visit us more and give us more treats. Auntie More More! Isn't that so funny?

I am worried about Auntie More More, however. Soon we will experience some days when she does not come to see us while Mom Mom is at her stupid work thing she says she has to do so she can buy the treats.

Auntie More More must have surgery. I do not know what this means.

My brother Franklin says it means she will go to the vet and not have balls when she comes back. He says surgery happened to him and no balls was the result.

I think Franklin is wrong, but if he is right, then I will tell Mom Mom to get out the plastic card that means money and I will order new balls for Auntie More More. I will order tennis balls and plastic squeaky balls and any other kind of balls Auntie More More wants, because I love my Auntie More More.

If you say prayers, then please say a nice prayer for Auntie More More, or send positive feeling to her and to me, a poor little doggy who will miss her auntie and worry about her.

I know you like to see photos of me, so here is another one, taken when the weather was chilly and I wore a sweater Santa Paws brought for me.


I know you never cease to be amazed by how cute I am.

That is all. Goodbye. 

Sunday, April 3, 2022

THE SLAP HEARD ROUND THE WORLD


Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

I didn't see the Academy Awards until Monday night. I don't have live TV. So all day Monday I avoided the news. I did hear a man at work say something about Chris Rock that sounded odd. I paid it no heed.

By Monday evening the show was streaming on Hulu and I was ready to watch and be surprised by the choices the Academy made. I enjoyed the show.  Wanda Sykes, Amy Schumer, and Regina Hall were great, proving that the show needs a host, or three. Their bits were brief; they kept the show moving.

Finally, we reached the award for the best documentary. Chris Rock took the stage. 

He tossed off a few jokes, including one about Jada's hairless head. Will laughed; Jada rolled her eyes.

Will charged the stage.


What the fuck?

The sound cut out, and then the picture. Will really had smacked the shit out of Chris Rock.

I thought the show would come to a temporary halt while officers removed Will Smith.

Instead, he won his Academy Award for Best Actor and gave a tearful, self-serving speech cooked up by a publicist and didn't even apologize to the man he hit.

I don't know how Chris Rock finished presenting the award.

I felt sick to my stomach and couldn't enjoy the rest of the show.

Some lovely women I know who have problems with a lack of hair were offended by Chris Rock's joke. I have thin hair and do my best to hide it with hairstyles. But it was the slap that bothered me. I spent my childhood and youth being slapped. Seeing some violence in a movie doesn't bother me (I rather like the choreographed violence in Tarantino movies). That slap –– that bothered me and it still bothers me; hence, I write about it a week after the event.

Chris Rock said he didn't know Jada Pinkett Smith has alopecia. I didn't know, either, although numerous articles said she's open about it.

She happens to look gorgeous with her head shaved, but if it bothers her so much, she could have worn a wig. Plenty of people who have alopecia do. She also could have found a way to defend herself using words at an appropriate time.

I believe the hosts also made jokes about the Smiths earlier in the evening. I don't remember what they said. A lot of people comment on the Smiths because of Jada's "entanglement" with another man, though Will insists there's been no infidelity.

If you don't want to face the possibility that someone will make a joke at your expense, then don't go to the show. Jokes are always made about the luminaries in attendance. 

What Chris Rock said might have been in poor taste, but what Will Smith did was a crime.

If I went up on a stage and hit someone, I would be arrested. So would you. Why wasn't he?

I don't agree with the people who say Will re-enforced stereotypes about Black men. Will Smith does not represent Black men. He represents Will Smith, and Will Smith is an asshole. Jada smiled/laughed when Will hit Chris Rock. Their son, Jaden, tweeted

so they are a family of entitled assholes who think that physical violence is the way to happiness and self-satisfaction.

Will Smith ruined the presentation of the Best Documentary Award that should have been a golden moment for Questlove. and his fellow winners. He ruined the Best Actor Academy Award presentation.  

And I wasn't the only person who found that slap a triggering event.

Will has resigned from the Academy. I don't know what else will or should happen to him, but he sure didn't deserve a standing ovation when he went up to collect his Oscar.


Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug


Saturday, March 26, 2022

SOME OF MY FRIENDS AT WORK

 Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

Rain dumped from the sky this week, filling Lake Junebug. If it were a little warmer, Sweet Cheeks and I could go skinny dipping. 

Although I tired of the rain, some of my friends at work were pleased with it and were out in full force.



When it's not raining, I take a walk around our building each morning and afternoon. The geese don't welcome me, but some ducks and I have become pals.


I hope you can see the little bit of duck under the bushes. It's a mama on her nest. 

I visited her almost every day for weeks. On my last day of training at work, she rose a little on her nest, and I knew babies were hatching.





Two days later, there she was in the parking lot with her offspring following. They were adorably fluffy and cheepy. 








This protector made sure I kept my distance.












A few days later, another mama on the nest showed up in a less protected area. Her babies didn't make up.

One morning I greeted her.










That afternoon, she was gone.









I continue to keep an eye on my friends.


I could tell you that I've returned to blogging regularly, but I know better. I'm tired at the end of the work day, when household tasks and dogs await me. I'm happy to report that I still like my job. I'm treated well. I'll stop by to see you as often as I can.


Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug


Sunday, January 23, 2022

THEY'RE DOING CHOREOGRAPHY

 Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

Recently I auditioned for the starring role in drumroll, please

THE MAM DANCE!!!

I arrived early so I had plenty of time to change into my beautiful gown. When the choreographer was ready for me, I floated onto the stage with stardust in my hair and no deodorant or lotion in the breast area. 

The room was chilly––perfect for a hard-nipple workout. Down went the top of my gown and it was time.

Put your left arm up. Higher. Higher than that. Move your feet to the side. No, no, let me put them in position. Here and here. Twist your right side back while keeping the left side straight ahead. Right foot more to the right. Left foot more to the left.

Don't move! Take a breath. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe.  Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe.

Breathe. 

Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe.  Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. 

Breathe.

Step back. (choreographer peels my skin away from the ice-cold equipment so I can move)

Okay. Right arm up. Reach, reach, reach for that handle. Hold on. Feet to the left. Farther left than that. Back a little. No, closer. No, back a little. Too much. Just a tiny bit. Higher. Reach higher. This is what it takes to be a star.

All right! Don't move! Take a breath. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe.  Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe.

Breathe. 

Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe.  Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe.  Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe.

Breathe. 

Don't breathe. Don't breather. Don't breathe. Don't breathe.  Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe.  Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe.  Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe.  Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe.

Breathe. 

Stay here. Don't leave yet. Ah, yes. We need one more.

Arm up higher. Higher. Higher. Left side back. Feet here and here. I'll position the breast. Left foot more to the right. Right foot more to the left.

Breathe. 

Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe.  Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe.  Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe.  Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe.  Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe.  Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe.  Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breather. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breather. Don't breathe. Don't breathe.  Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe.  Don't breath. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe.

Breathe. (choreographer peels skin from machine again)

Okay. That's it for today. You can go. We'll let you know.

Happily, I received the all clear for another year.


Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

not my tit



Friday, January 21, 2022

FRANKLIN FRIDAY: I HAD AN OUCH

 Hi Every Buddy! Hi Hi Hi! And Hi some more! It's me me me Franklin the Bordernese and pretty soon I'm gonna catch some z's.

Mom was gonna be here to write to you all before 2022 started, but I had an ouch that made me need extra love and attention.

On Dec. 31st, I couldn't quit licking a spot on my side because it bothered me so much. It hurt lots. Mom saw it and at first she thought I'd been wounded. Then she figured out it was a hot spot. We had to go see my doctor and I got in the car without any fooling around because I needed help.

I had an infection from the ouch. The doctor's helper had to shave some of my fur.


Then the doctor gave me a shot and he gave mom pills for me and some stuff to spray on the ouch. I felt better after a couple days and I finished taking my pills last week. I'm all better now. The doctor also gave Mom pills for me and ole Penlapee to take so we wouldn't be as scared of the fireworks that night. Mom told him we hate the fireworks. He said, This is a redneck town. I dunno what that means.

Mom said she was sure glad she didn't have to go to werk that day. I was glad, too. 

Most days she goes to werk, though. Before she goes, she always tells me Take care of the house. Take care of Penelope. I'll come back as soon as I can. I love you. You're in charge.

It's a lot of sponsibility to be in charge, but Mom needs me, so I keep an eye on everything. We do like it that Auntie Maureen comes over to let us out to potty and she gives us treats and she pets us and says nice stuff to us. We love Auntie Maureen.

Daddy comes to see us, too, and Grandma comes over sometimes. We have a great family.

Mom is kinda tired after work, but she said to tell you that she misses you and she wants to visit you all. Just be careful or she might give you sponsibility, too.

I gotta go now because it's almost bedtime. I have to sit by the bed and watch over Mom while she sleeps. 

Okay I love you bye-bye.

Oh. Wait a minute. I thought of something else. Do you remember this pitcher of my dad's bottom?

It makes me wonder if he had an ouch and got his fur shaved because his bottom isn't very hairy. 


It gives me somethin to think about.

Friday, December 24, 2021

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT!

 Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

I wish you all great joy on this Christmas Eve. Sweet Cheeks will be here tonight for ham and scalloped potatoes.

We had a party at work yesterday that, happily, was not a pot luck. It was catered. We ate our little hearts out and then had a gift exchange that had us all laughing. We even got to leave early, and today is a paid holiday. I am happy to be with Franklin and Penelope who did not complain about not rising at 6 a.m.

A lovely young lady came by with her two daughters and accepted my offering of children's books and Christmas cookies. I baked several kinds.

Sweet Cheeks shocked me last weekend by telling me he does not like my homemade cookies. People rave about my cookies, I told him.

I don't like cookies with things in them, he said. 

This statement mystified me for a moment. Things? Butter? Eggs? Cockroaches? What things had he found in my cookies that offended him? 

It turned out he doesn't like bits of candies in cookies. He also doesn't care for chocolate cookies or sugar cookies. He does like oatmeal raisin cookies (he is not disturbed by the fact that raisins look like dead flies), and he likes peanut butter cookies as long as nothing is added to them, such as chocolate chips.

So I am about to whip up a batch of peanut butter cookies for my dear Sweet Cheeks. He had damn well better eat them and like them.


Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug





Wednesday, December 15, 2021

IT'S ALL FUN & GAMES TILL SOMEBODY'S EYE GETS POKED OUT

 Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

Yesterday I passed an exam that allowed me to obtain the necessary credentials for my job. About half of us passed. I'm grateful to be one of them. The exam was quite difficult.

So I'm starting to return to holiday life. I've baked one kind of cookie, and I hope to bake a lot more Friday evening and Saturday. This evening I addressed Christmas cards, although I'm not sending as many as usual. 

I'm very happy to tell you that the folks in my new workplace are all polite and friendly––no shouts, threats, or harassment, and I'm certain that kind of behavior would not be tolerated. It's a delightful surprise after my last job.

Franklin and Penelope were shocked the first day I rose at 6 a.m. and left them on their own for the day, but they adjusted quickly. Their Auntie Maureen comes over every day to let them out and give them some attention. 

A reminder for jewelry lovers: Maureen makes adorable jewelry and sells it at 

Made with love earrings and more - Home | Facebook

You might need a gift for someone, or better yet, a gift for yourself, especially after you see what other people spring on you.

Almost every day I wear Christmas earrings made by Maureen.

I'll try to return to at least semi-regular blogging soon. I have a great story to tell about my recent mammogram, or boob squishing as I prefer to call it.

Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

I love this shot of Franklin and Penelope because she 
actually leaned over him and kissed him on the mouth.