Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,
My week began with a bang (no, not that kind of banging) and a scream when I awoke Sunday morning. Or, rather, I should say I was awakened when the head of my bed suddenly slammed down and my head was pointed toward the floor. The support underneath the head of the bed had given out for the second time.
I can't sleep with my head pointing toward the floor, and waking with a bang! can be a rather daunting prospect, so I decided to get up and head for the family room. But when I opened the closet door to get my slippers,
I picked up the heel of the slipper, intending to shake him off and then smack him. Instead, he ran toward me as soon as I went for the slipper. How can something with such a tiny brain be so smart? I guess that's why everyone says cockroaches can survive a nuclear holocaust.
As Senor Cucaracha ran toward me, I screamed, grabbed the slipper, and started smacking him. It only took about ten whacks to kill the mighty bastard.
Later in the day, as my eyes drooped from lack of sleep, Favorite Young Man very kindly arrived to repair the bed. He also mowed the lawn -- that sweetie pie
The next evening, his two little girls arrived for a happy visit with me. They have now returned to their own home.
I've started reading a book, The Lieutenants by W.E.B. Griffin, that was a gift from Elvis Aaron Schwarz. I gave him a book called Open Doors: An Anthology and requested that he turn to page 40 to read my story, XO. You can join Elvis Aaron Schwarz in reading my story by going to http://www.amazon.com/Open-Doors-An-Anthology-Volume/dp/1477455132 to buy this book of science fiction and fantasy from Wayman Publishing. You'll find some of your favorite bloggers here, and I hope I'm included as one of your favorites.
I know you'll want to read a book if Elvis Aaron Schwarz reads it.
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| Hi! Remember me? I'm Elvis Aaron Schwarz. This is my intellectual pose. I know you'll want to read a book if I read it. I love my baby doll's story, which appears on page forty. Do you like my rhyme? I rhyme all the time.
I also gave Elvis Aaron Schwarz some Hemp Body Butter from The Body Shop, maker and seller of my favorite lotions and potions. Last night when Elvis Aaron Schwarz called, he said, I'm going to take a shower and put on some of that marijuana cream you gave me.
That Elvis Aaron Schwarz!
So now here we are at Wednesday evening, and yes, I'll make this Thursday's post by manipulating the date. Why do I do that? I don't know. Sometimes I just do.
Maybe it's because my week started off with a bang.
Infinities of love,
Janie Junebug
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If I had hemp soap I may never get out of the shower again.
ReplyDeleteI'll have to take a look at The Body Shop. They sell soap. Maybe they have hemp soap.
DeleteOkay--I can't get past the cockroach (even if the picture of Elvis buttering up after a shower might be a temptation--LOL!) I'd never make it in a warmer climate. I am annoyed by moths and flies! I would be apoplectic over cockroaches!! Where's the Orkin man?? ;)
ReplyDeleteThe Orkin man charges a small fortune, which I do not have. I've never had cockroaches before. I think they're bad this year because of the heat and the heavy rain. They want inside to stay cool and dry, and to multiply and grow.
DeleteThat Elvis Aaron Schwarz looks so much like Johnny Depp....maybe it's just me. I hate cockroaches, the freaking things never die! :)
ReplyDeleteIt's just you. Elvis Aaron Schwarz has unique characteristics that Johnny Depp couldn't possibly have. I hate cockroaches, too. Last night a palmetto bug came strolling out from under my computer. At least they're slower than the regular cockroaches. I smacked him with a book and killed him with only three blows. Then Favorite Young Man showed up to retrieve his girls and he got to throw out the big bug.
DeleteYEEECH!! I think cockroaches are #1 on my hate list!!! (We used to have a lot of them in Maui.)
ReplyDeleteWe never had rats there--just tiny field mice.
ReplyDeleteI don't like mice either. We had them big time in Illinois. It took a lot of work to get rid of them. I don't know how the people who lived in the house before we did were able to stand it. Maybe they blocked off all the entry points and then unblocked them before we moved in just to get back at me for insisting they leave the refrigerator.
DeleteI NEVER had a roach in my house until we moved to Florida. I opened the silverware drawer and this HUGE behemoth was there, as large as my thumb, and he never ran!! When I had the house sprayed, I hid outside. When I came inside, there were two bigger ones, limping across the floor!!! Down here, they call them Palmetto "bugs" , just to keep us northerners from thinking they are roaches: BUT THEY ARE!
ReplyDeleteHow do you keep hemp soap lit???
I don't know how to light hemp soap. That will be Coffey's problem. The experts probably don't agree with me, but I see a difference in the "roaches" that get inside. The palmetto bugs are bigger; they move more slowly; and they can fly. The regular cockroaches are still plenty big, but they move faster and don't take off and fly to a spot where they aren't easily reached.
DeleteYUK! I hate cockroaches. Our older son moved to Florida for a while some years ago, and then moved back home until he got himself a new place to live up here, and he brought some of his furniture with him. Unfortunately, one of those pieces of furniture was infested with palmetto bugs, which to me just looks like cockroaches on steroids. (We called 'em Toyotas.) Took us a long time to get rid of those miserable things.
ReplyDeleteThey are miserable, Susan. Unfortunately, they're part of life in Florida.
DeleteYour week did start with a bang! I love how you've made this post so witty and fun--just like you are.
ReplyDeleteP.S. Your story in "Open Doors" is heartwarming and thought-provoking. Deep meaning interlaced within the unique story--I reflected on it for a long time after first reading it.
Thank you, Middle Child. You are my favorite middle child of all my middle children. Of course, you are the only middle child, but if you weren't, then you'd still be my favorite.
Deletei know rite! roaches are such smart bastards by running towards you. its as of they are blind when they do that. or is it just plain bravery ?
ReplyDeleteI think they do it because they know we'll run away from them. We are the cowards in this battle.
DeleteDear Janie, I've tried hard all my life to follow the example of St. Francis of Assisi--whose feast day it is today. That is, I tried to love all creatures great and small. But I just can't seem to warm up to snakes and to cockroaches. I would smash one into smithereens if it dared to let me see it in my house!!!! Peace.
ReplyDeleteSnakes, cockroaches, and mice, oh my! Why be afraid of lions, tigers, and bears?
DeleteUh...why not put the pillow at the foot of the bed and sleep kinda upright? At least until you got the bed fixed. Improvise and conquer.
ReplyDeleteBecause then the foot of the bed will collapse and frighten me all over again. Then the bed would be even, but once I'm frightened awake, I can't go back to sleep. Thanks for trying, Coffey.
DeleteUgh, cockroaches. That's no way to wake up.
ReplyDeleteWhen I lived in Honduras, I picked up the gas tank used for my gas stove and out from under it ran cockroaches in every direction. I almost couldn't move I was so freaked out! Blech!
Hooray - I just downloaded Open Doors. :) I shall click forward to page 40 as soon as I make some headway in the novel I'm trudging my way through at the moment.
ReplyDeleteThat Elvis Aaron Schwarz, intellectual AND a crack up. Quite the combo.
I completely forgot my middle of the night bang story! It ended up being a shelf in my son's bedroom detaching from the wall, but it sounded like something big and mean was trying to crash into our house. Both kids jumped out of their beds & headed to me, and when I shot out my bedroom doorway, they freaked when they saw me freaked and for at least a full minute the three of us stood there in a group hug with them screaming and me screaming for them to stop screaming, which only made them scream louder because they thought I was screaming-screaming, and oh my gosh I could not stop giggling about it the whole next day.
ReplyDeleteSo yeah, I know what a blood-pumper a middle of the night bang can be.