Tuesday, October 16, 2012


Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

It's time for more great search terms people -- and I use the word "people" loosely -- have used to find my blog.

Elvis Aaron Schwarz couldn't believe that someone would Google any of these searches.

Hi! Remember me?
I'm Elvis Aaron Schwarz.
I can't believe that someone would Google any of these searches.

Uh-oh, here we go:

Let's start with "alarm fur cobra movie scary." Huh?

"british rock star with bad teeth" -- this one I get

"chubby amateur women" as opposed to chubby professional women, I suppose

"no teeth woman" would be desirable for a smoother . . . let's not go there

"woman bad" -- I beg your pardon?

And now my two favorites (I can't decide which of these is better):

"fuck my company" or "girl with penis tits" -- which do you prefer?

I apologize, but I don't have a photo for "penis tits."

Please feel free to use your imagination.

Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug


  1. I do like chubby amateur women, but the 'fuck my company' is better, maybe because of the cuss word....lol. Gotta hand it to you, these some are pretty screwed up searches....:)

  2. Oh Janie, I don't know what that would look like even when I try sketching, not to mention my imagination.

    1. And you have such a good imagination! I thought that you of all people would give us an image.

  3. How come some people are SO WEIRD while you & I are SO NORMAL?

  4. Oh my! Who knew Snow White was such a dirty whore!!?

  5. The photo of that old woman with no teeth was horrifying. I love the Keep Calm and Fuck Off. Perhaps I can make it into a small sign I can just whip outta my purse when need be.

    1. I love that sign. I work it into my blog whenever possible. In fact, I might change the title of my blog to "Keep Calm And Fuck Off." Seriously. It would also be a great name for a band or the title of a self-help book.

  6. Is that first person who I think it is?! If so, girl, you have made my month!!!!!!

    1. It's Elvis Aaron Schwarz of course! Some people think he bears a strong resemblance to an actor.

  7. I wish people could find me through weird searches, but alas... my number one search term was "surviving Boys". Excellent work Google, well played.


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