Friday, March 9, 2012


Happy Friday, Friends!

On Wednesday this week, I gave you a taste of published me with the first story I sold for a nice little check: Click on the link to read "the mice, the cat, and me."

Now I'm going to give you a taste of newspaper me with the first column I ever wrote. Keep in mind that in a column I could express myself creatively, as opposed to an article, which sticks to the facts -- at least when I write it.

I wrote this piece for a newspaper in Maryland. It was published January 28th, 2000, and it bought me my 15 minutes of fame as promised to all of us by Andy Warhol.

Actually, it ended up giving me more time in the limelight than 15 minutes because it became what I believe was the most popular thing I ever wrote for a newspaper. It was the kind of column people cut out and put on bulletin boards at work. Every time I went to the grocery store, some nice person would stop me and start to cry and say, Your writing is so beautiful.

I felt very honored and touched by the appreciation

Here's "It seems like only yesterday that I took the red-haired boy to preschool" :

When I took my little red-haired boy to preschool, we met the teachers and looked at the toys. We sang some songs. Then it was time for me to leave.

The boy threw his arms around my knees and cried, "But I want to stay with you!"

I reminded him that we had talked about going to preschool. I reminded him that he needed to spend time with other kids, that I would return soon and we would spend the rest of the day together.

He kissed me good-bye and went off to build a tower of blocks with his new classmates. I rushed out the door, thankful we had just taken the first successful step toward his independence. 

But the boy needed to learn to dress himself. Every morning, he sat down, pulled his pants over his legs and tried to stand up before they were over his feet.

"I'll have to go to college with him to dress him," I grumbled.

With practice, though, he learned to dress himself. Another step toward independence.

The boy went to kindergarten. I removed the training wheels from his first bike. He rode around the block alone. He stopped asking me to marry him. He learned how to read.

I stood on a basketball court for hours while he threw ball after ball up and toward the hoop. None went through. I passed the ball back to him and waited while he threw it again. One day the ball finally went through the hoop.

He played basketball with the other boys. He didn't need me to rebound for him anymore. I breathed a sigh of relief. More steps.

Fourth grade and he started to play the trombone. The sound hurt. I helped him learn to read music. I played the piano; he played along on the trombone. The sound improved. He didn't need my help with the trombone.

Middle school years, and someone on the school bus teased a girl. She blamed the boy and put gum in his hair. The bus driver gave the boy's name to the principal. We practiced at home so the boy knew how to explain to the principal. The principal let the boy go. I didn't have to visit the school. A big step.

High school: Clear the roads -- he's learned how to drive. I felt frightened, then happy. He didn't need me to be his chauffeur. I could go where I wanted, when I wanted.

But so could he. More independence for him and more worries for me.

He had his ear pierced -- six times. He seemed to have trouble pulling up his pants again but he didn't ask for help with his clothes or with anything else.

I fought to stay involved in his life. Could this independence thing really be a good idea?

"Aren't you glad you know I'm independent and I don't listen to you?" he asked me one day as I was trying to gain his cooperation in some endeavor such as cleaning up his bedroom.

"Yeah, I'm glad you don't listen to me," I answered. I laughed, but I really was glad. Wasn't his independence what I had sought all along? Wasn't it what I had raised him to seek?

I insisted he hold down a job and pay for his own car insurance if he wanted to drive. He played on basketball teams, chose his own clothes, spoke up for himself, even became a trombonist in a ska band. And he did it all without me.

We went to college orientation and picked up our name tags. "Students to the right; parents to the left," a young woman told us.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Students go to a meeting in the room to the right and parents go to a meeting in the room to the left."

They were splitting us up.

I threw my arms around his waist and cried, "But I want to stay with you!"

"You'll be OK with the other parents. I'll be back soon and we'll spend the rest of the day together," he reminded me.

He hugged me. Then he walked away to be with the other students. I went to the meting with the parents, but not to build a tower. I had already built one. It was six-feet three inches tall and had red hair. 

On Jan. 15, he stood at the altar of a church. He didn't hold my hand; I didn't hold his. He took the hand of the most beautiful bride I've ever seen and vowed to be her husband for the rest of his life. I sat -- an onlooker in the drama of his life, missing him, but grateful for his independence.


  1. Ms. Junebug--You're one helluva writer!

  2. This is AMAZING! I laughed, then I cried at this part, "He hugged me. Then he walked away to be with the other students. I went to the meeting with the parents, but not to build a tower. I had already built one. It was six-feet three inches tall and had red hair."

    I can't describe how much this has touched me. When I bring Trey (the Zombie Elf) to school, I know I'll be remembering this the whole time.

  3. Awwww, fishducky, flattery will get you everywhere.

    Elisa, It's not easy to give up our babies. Thank you for the lovely compliment.

  4. Dear Janie,
    What fine writing in your column on helping your son become independent. You so stuck to the point and built to the conclusion that you had me eager to learn more. Thank you for this textbook example on how to write a column.


  5. Beautiful. Thanks for sharing it with us. It's funny how we all have to go through the wishing they'd learn how to talk, and then wishing they'd shut up for five minutes, wanting them to be independent, and then feeling sad when they ARE. Part of life, but you expressed it beautifully.

  6. Muchas gracias, Dos Pesos.

    Dee, What a lovely comment. Thank you very much.

  7. Susan, Thank you. We want them to walk, and then when they do, we can never catch up to them again. I'm a fortunate mom because I get to see him so often.

  8. So beautifully written. Tears were almost building in my eyes as I was thinking how my son would grow one day and wouldn't want me by his side. I was thinking every time I tell him to be a little bit more independent without always asking for me will one day make me be dependent on him. Oh I love this post.

  9. Beautiful. :) It really captures the pride with a tinge of ambivalence we all feel about our little boys growing up.

  10. PAPS, Thank you. I am so grateful now that my son is strong and independent. He helps me so much.

    LegalEagle, Yes, it's wonderful when they grow up but it's oh so difficult to let them go.

  11. The steps our children make us so proud and breaks our hear at the same time. You know they are growing to be fine adults, but you miss the little one who wobbled when he walked.

  12. Good old Andy Warhol I'm still waiting for my 15 minutes.


    I might show it to son, he seems to have lost the ability to pull his pants up too.

    You are indeed a great writer. You really should pursue it.
    ps when you are a famous writer can I have a guest spot on your column ?

  14. It will happen for you, G.

    Jane, My son pulls his pants up now. I'm already a famous writer (in my imagination), so every time you write a comment on my blog, it's your guest spot.

  15. Oooh! I totally loved this. Especially when it came full circle and he was telling you it was okay and you'd have the rest of the day to spend together. Loved it!

  16. you are so very blessed. so is he.


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