Wednesday, March 28, 2012


Please join me in welcoming The Frisky Virgin.

Many, many thanks to Janie Junebug for inviting me to be a guest blogger this week.  Janie is one of my favorite bloggers—she’s funny, smart, kind, and a true symbol of strength.  Thank you so much, Janie, for asking me to write for your blog—I appreciate it more than you know. 

The Urban Love Myth

Tell Bridget Jones, call Carrie Bradshaw, channel Jane Austen, and alert the white jackets. And someone, please, slap me silly because I have done something beyond comprehension. 

The thing with which I must hide my head in shame: While watching the wedding scene of The Twilight Saga, Breaking Dawn, Part I…I cried. We’re talking the salty tears, snotty nose variety, here, folks.  And I was really pathetic when they started playing Flightless Bird, American Mouth…yeah, hello, Kleenex. 

My mind, which was thoroughly repulsed, screamed, “You don’t cry at Twilight!” (totally modified that from Tom Hanks circa A League of Their Own).

It was a totally impulsive, unfiltered reaction, and I couldn’t help but wonder why.  Then, it hit me: the reason my tears flowed wasn’t for the vampire and his flightless bird, it was because I envied the love they shared, and, more importantly, I wondered about its existence in reality.

And, yes, I know it’s a movie, a book, fake, so not the real world, blah, blah, blah.  I get that; I’m not delusional.  But…in all honesty, shouldn’t that supposed unrealistic love be part of our world? I mean, minus the bloodsucking, bruising, and rapidly growing baby, followed by gruesome birth stuff. 

So, the trillion dollar question:  Does that kind of inconvenient, heart-stopping, endless love actually exist in our reality?  If we’re patient, and look with our hearts, yes, I believe it does.   

I could easily say it doesn’t exist.  Why?  Because it’s the easy answer.  It’s an easy way to explain away the frustration, the perpetual Singletonville address, and, in some cases, settling with someone you know isn’t right for you. 

See, I think many people today are so jaded that, on some level, they settle for what’s easy or convenient because they figure they’ll never find the real thing.  I’ve known people who have married because they believed that person was the best they could do at the time.  Then, of course, you have the men who marry based on lust, women who marry for money, etc.  None of these scenarios equal the kind of love I’m talking about—the kind of love we all yearn for…and we all deserve.  

People are so quick to say true love is only for books and movies.  But, I don’t think that’s true.  The only reason we don’t see it in everyday life is because no one steps up and actually makes it happen. 

If everyone settles or rushes into something “just because,” then, naturally, the concept of a soul mate becomes more of an urban love myth than an actuality.  No wonder so many people don’t believe movie-love exists—they’re all too busy crapping on the idea.

Maybe if we trusted our hearts a little more, gave credit to our instincts, and took chances, we’d look at the world and it would remind us of An Affair to Remember or a Jane Austen novel, rather than just leaving us wishing for some elusive dream. 

I’m pretty sure some people think I’m a fool, waiting for something I may never find.  Maybe I am.  But, I’d rather be a believing fool, than alone in a relationship, wishing I had trusted in something that’s seemingly unbelievable. 

There are many different kinds of love, bringing people together, making us happy.  So, why sell one brand of love short?  If love really does make the world go round, then giving up on any part of it is like helping to end the world (in a manner of dramatic speaking).

Maybe never giving up isn’t such a bad thing after all.  

And so ends this episode of Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride, otherwise known as my single gal brain dump.

Frisky, you truly understand what I want. And now I know you just a little bit better because I know what you want. Applause, applause, applause for The Frisky Virgin!


  1. I wish my sweet Lhasa-Poo, Maggie, could come back and talk to me. I miss her.

    Keep your dreams alive, Janie!!!

  2. I love you, Janie--& I LOVE THE WAY YOU WRITE!!!

  3. Dear Janie, . . . I don't know whether there is someone "out there" who is the perfect mate for you. What I do know is that before we can be "perfect" mates for others, we need to accept ourselves unconditionally and tell ourselves daily that we are enough.

    When we are enough for ourselves, then perhaps we meet others who are also enough for themselves and the twine meets and embraces and love is unconditional. Peace.

  4. There's nothing wrong with dreaming. I think when we stop dreaming and having a sense of humor we stop living. Dream lady dream!

  5. Your Majesty, I'll keep the dreams alive till the day I die.

    Dee, Your comments are always so amazing. You have an insight I lack.

  6. fishducky, From your lips to Emily Dickinson's ear.

    Mel, You have to dream with me, baby.

  7. I often get excited over the dreams that I know can come true in Heaven. I'm just hoping that we all get mansions in the same neighborhood :)
    I dream of living in an actual house with my husband, having basic things like our own furniture again, and being able to hang photos of our families all over the walls. Some day I suppose this will happen but I think dreaming about them makes them all the more appreciated when you finally get them. And if you don't get them, it was still nice to dream.

  8. Dreaming is so important.

    But so is living your dreams. Live as if your dreams will happen, and they will.

    (very Pollyanna, I know, but that's who I am... and it's always worked for me)


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