Tuesday, October 13, 2020

TIP TUESDAY: WHO IS YOUR FIRST COUSIN, ONCE REMOVED?

Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

I have some info I hope you'll find useful about the terms used for relatives, and no, they don't all consist of four letters. 

I have a first cousin named Kathy, who has beautiful red hair. I know that Kathy is my first cousin because my late Aunt Evelyn (a.k.a. Evilena) was Kathy's mother. Aunt Evelyn was my mother's older sister. 

My first cousin Kathy gave birth to a passel of daughters, who also have red hair.

Not my cousin Kathy's daughters.



Now the big question is How am I related to my red-haired first cousin's red-haired daughters?

It has come to Your Queen's attention that many people think that those red-haired daughters are my second cousins. Not true, dear ones.

They are my first cousins, once removed.

How do I know? I read it in a magazine, the same way I learned about Bennie's electric boots and her mohair suit. 

Today if I want to know the term for something, I Google it. But in 1994, we weren't Googling. I really did learn these terms from a little piece in a magazine that I cut out and have kept to this day because I used to get so tired of The Hurricane asking me over and over about how we were related to people so I would tell her to get out the little piece from the magazine so she could see for herself.

Oh, my goodness. I'm out of breath after that sentence.

The Hurricane no longer asks me a damn thing, but I kept the magazine clipping, which lives in a little drawer on the shelves with my office supplies.

When the passel of red-haired daughters who are my first cousins, once removed, have children, those children will be my first cousins, twice removed. When the twice-removed children have children (if I'm still around), the children will be my first cousins, three times removed. 

And so it goes, and so it goes.

I have a nephew named Joe, who is Favorite Young Man's and The Hurricane's first cousin, still named Joe. Joe has three children, who do not have red hair; however, they are FYM's and The Whirly-Twirly girl's first cousins, once removed.

Are we strong on our first cousin, once removed information now? I hope so because I'm not telling you again. So there!

Remember how teachers would say "there's no such thing as a stupid question," and then they'd yell at someone who asked a question? Ah, those happy memories of school days.

Next week, I hope, we'll move on to more terms for relatives, and you still won't get me to apply nasty words to them––no matter how tempting it might be.


Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug




34 comments:

  1. I never knew that. (Honestly never was curious enough to look it up--lol!) Goodness! I have some first cousins once removed that none of the family have seen. We have a fertile cousin who has remarried several times and left children around the United States. (He wasn't married to at least one we know of during his first marriage.) Oh well--more family I don't see or know much about--LOL!

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    1. I have some cousins whose names I can't remember.

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  2. Thank you.
    Growing up I never knew any relatives other than immediate family. In my thirties I discovered I do have a few, but have no contact with them so the first and second removed thing does my head in. I probably won't remember it - but can if necessary look it up. Again and again. How I wish things stayed in my crowded head...

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    1. Every time I learn something new, it pushes some old information out of brain. Then it makes its way to my ears, where it falls out, never to be found again.

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  3. In this case, I think they'd be your red-haired first cousins once-removed with red hair, but you do seem to get the general idea. SG has a genealogy website. All I have to do is type in two names and click RELATIONSHIP and it tells me things like (in SG's family) 22-greats grandfather. It makes me a genius.

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    1. San Geraldo's Website sounds great. I can't go very far back in my family tree before I run out of people.

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  4. Hi Janie - I have a few of those ... a mix of relatives is always difficult to explain ... take care - Hilary

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    1. I don't know how people who marry, have children, divorce, remarry, and have more children can keep anything straight.

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  5. So then WHO are my second cousins?????

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    1. We'll learn about second cousins next week. The post was long enough as it was.

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  6. My parents were only children, so I have no first cousins. I do have plenty of second cousins and even more once/twice/thrice removed... One of my thrice removed cousins is a famous author who probably has no idea I exist. So it goes...

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    1. Who is your thrice removed cousin famous author? You have me curious now.

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  7. My maternal side of the family is quite large. My grandmother and grandfather both were from large families and to complicate matters 4 siblings from my grandmother's family married four siblings from my grandfather's. When my grandparents had their large family their kids were surrounded by double first cousins. Then when they all had their families the pool grew and instead of trying to identify the cousiness we just all agree that if you are related you are just a cousin. It is so much easier.

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    1. That's wild! And complicated. I would stick with calling everyone a cousin, too.

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  8. I'm a staunch proponent of never removing the gingers. But if you do, they'll fight back in passels.

    Love you.

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  9. OK, now I know this and it finally sank in. I have read about this before in magazines, books etc but it never sank in. You spell it out nicely. Now I need to know about who the hell are my 2nd cousins.

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    1. I'm glad it helped, Birgit. We'll get to second cousins next week.

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  10. Yeah I get that - I'm with Birgit above - explain 2nd cousins? and even 3rd cousins?

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  11. I am still confused but I am normally confused about stuff

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    1. I'm confused a lot of the time, too. The older I get, the worse it is.

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  12. My family has grown too small and old and forgetful to care.

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    1. That makes understanding these relationships quite a bit easier--I hope.

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  13. Great, thank you. I wanted to know this, but never took the time to look it up.

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  14. I always wondered about the removed and the seconds. I suppose I was too lazy to look it up and instead went with, my cousin's daughter. LOL

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    1. It's easier than saying first cousin, once removed. Besides, most people don't know what it means, anyway.

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  15. I remember when I first found out about kissin' cousins. lol

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    1. My dad's paternal grandparents were first cousins, so I guess that made them kissin' cousins and then some.

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  16. Thanks. I'm always getting confused on this. Hope you're doing well.

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    1. I feel great, thanks, and you're welcome. When you feel confused, you can always email The Queen of Grammar.

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  17. All this has always been very confusing to me! Thank goodness you're around, Janie to straighten us out. :) If not, I'd have to really entirely on Professor Google.

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