Saturday, May 21, 2011


Gentle Readers,

Being the wordaholic and grammar maven that I am, watching the news or listening to almost anyone talk is hell for me.

I try really hard not to let shit bother me too much and I seldom correct anyone. The English language must change, but I don't think I have to change with it. For example, I absolutely cannot bring myself to use impact as a verb.

Yesterday I wrote about some differences between American English and English English, mostly so I could use beaver, twat, etc. in a post, and I don't believe I mentioned spelling. Americans like color, neighbor, and so on, while Brits like colour, neighbour, and fannies.

Lately, however, on some American news programs I've seen adviser spelled advisor. Advisor is the British spelling. Has the AP style book changed its stance? I sincerely doubt it. I think the people doing the graphics for the TV newscasts just don't know how to spell.

A news program with a crawl across the bottom of the screen is pretty much unbearable for me because my eyes are drawn to the words, not the talking heads. I see spelling mistakes and factual errors in those crawls all the time.

So I seldom watch. Instead, I get my news from Dogs and Jeans.

In addition to like and yaknow, an overused word that gets to me is hopefully. I think I have mentioned this problem before, but like a nose that's ripe for picking, I can't leave it alone.

Hopefully should not be used to modify a sentence; that is, hopefully is taking the place of I hope. Some modern grammarians are beginning to accept this usage.

I can't take it. I really can't take it.

But I'll continue to try not to say anything when I hear it.

Infinities of love and correct grammar,



  1. Yaknow, like, you are soooo right! yaknow? Hopefully those grammerians will quit, like, trying to impact the English language in such a poor way, yaknow, and, like, hire advisors who will hopefully, yaknow, get us back to the good English spellings like, yaknow, nabor and colur and, like, fannys!!!!!!!

  2. Also, can we please have all the stores replace those godawful signs at the express lanes that read "15 items or less" with signs that properly read "7 items or fewer"?

    Thanks. I knew I could count on you.

  3. I am so in love with you right now that I may pass out and fall on my fanny. Pass the smelling salts, please.



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