Monday, December 10, 2012

THANK YOU, PANERA AND ECZEMA

Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

I've finally completed a chapter for my book, CareGiver: Love, Laughter & Poop.

I started the book earlier this year with a prologue and an explanation of how I ended up working in a nursing home instead of spending my days as a reporter in a newsroom. I deleted those posts from my blog, and eventually I'll probably delete the poopy night chapter, along with all the writing for the book that follows. After all, why should you be able to click on my blog and read my book in its entirety whenever you want? You're going to have to buy this sucker to get the whole story.

Besides, the writing for the book that I post on my blog is my rough draft. And I won't post everything that's going in the book. But writing for my blog helps me keep the words for the book flowing.

I guess I need an assignment to be able to write, and I think of the blog as my assigned writing. Sitting in my recliner with my feet up, tapping away on my laptop, is a lot more fun than writing an assigned story in a loud, dirty newsroom.

When the book is finished, I think I shall have to dedicate it to Panera and eczema. The two are keeping me awake at night, the time I feel most comfortable writing.

If you don't have Panera where you live, then I'm sorry for you. It's a soup, salad, sandwich, bakery, coffee house. I've never been a coffee drinker. Love the way it smells, but I've always found the taste bitter.

But recently, the nice server at Panera told me that thanks to my Panera rewards card, I could have a free frozen coffee. Thanks, I told her, but I don't like coffee.

Oh, but we have frozen coffees that don't even taste like coffee, she said. You should try the frozen peppermint mocha coffee.

I took her advice and that night I emailed a friend and said I finally understand why coffee drinkers can accomplish so much. The coffee and its symbiotic friend, caffeine, have me feeling as if I can move mountains. I might even spin around so fast that I fly away into the sky, where I shall look down upon all the non-coffee drinkers and laugh maniacally.

A less pleasant feeling comes from my eczema, a skin disease that leaves nasty, itchy little bumps on various parts of my body. The itch often precedes the appearance of the rash, and don't even bother to tell me not to scratch. It ain't gonna happen. Eczema and I were born to be together cuz I've always had it.

not me


At the moment, the eczema is particularly bad under my left arm and on the middle of my back, where my bra strap rubs against it and irritates the skin even more.

I've been taking my antihistamine that usually relieves my itching, but the current cases of eczema are so bad that the antihistamine is of little help.

So I borrowed the topical spray I got from the vet last summer when Harper had severe skin allergies. It helped a little, but the eczema remains, keeping me awake and writing.

So that's why I'll dedicate my book to Panera and eczema, and maybe a couple of young adults who claim to be my children. But I don't know how that can be. They were shorter than me just the other day, and they giggled when we played games.

Now they're taller than I am, and I request their help.

Be good to your children. One of these days you'll need them to get the Christmas decorations out of the attic and move the furniture and tend to you when you're sick.

I tried asking the doggies to do all that stuff for me. They said, no, they're not here to work for me.

I forgave them as soon as the weather turned chilly and they cuddled me in bed.

Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

24 comments:

  1. I was never a coffee drinker but since moving to Cork, I quite enjoy a mug of it with just milk...somehow it's not as bitter with no sugar in it...go figure! I can usually only have my one mug in the morning or else I will be bouncing off the walls and never able to type, let alone sleep! I'm already a night owl, so I don't need any help with staying awake (even if it's on my volunteer nights when I'm out from 10pm-4am)!
    Having an itch under your bra strap is nasty enough but I can't imagine how awful it must be with eczema! There seems to be a high population of people with eczema over here. I only new a few people with it back in WA, but it seems like every 3rd person has it over here (Scotland too). I love that you used a topical spray used for one of your dogs! That is so my mom! She took something we had leftover from one of our pets but I can't remember what exactly.

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    1. A vet told me once that a lot of prescription meds for animals are the same things that are used for humans but the animal scripts are cheaper. Harper doesn't need the spray anymore, and it sure helps me.

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  2. I'll buy your book when it comes out!

    I like Panera - mostly because I like the music they play

    Sorry about your eczema. If you want, I can send some special Arbonne baby lotion that might help.

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    1. Thanks for the offer, Sherry, but there's no need to bother. I have lotions and potions and the eczema will subside.

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  3. Dear Janie, I've asked the three cats with whom I live to go out and earn some money for our household but they simply look at me with eyelids drooping closed, stand up, turn in a circle, and settle back down to sleep. I take that as a "No."

    I'm sorry to learn abut the eczema. That's a real "bummer" and I wish you could find something that would ease the itch and take away the bumps.

    I'm so glad to learn that you are going to settle in and write that memoir of your nursing home experiences. The posting you wrote recently about your first night was a learning experience for me. I'll buy your book as soon as it's finished and on the market. Peace.

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    1. It's amazing that we take in animals and then they refuse to support us.

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  4. Sorry about your eczema, it sounds frustrating. How can you have coffee that doesn't taste of coffee? What kind of world is this?

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    1. It's a world in which a lot of people voted for Romney for president. It's a world with a war on Christmas, according to Bill O'Reilly, and if you've never seen Bill O'Reilly, then you are a fortunate man. My frozen coffee has a little coffee taste. Please don't be too distraught about the state of the world.

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  5. sorry about the eczema. it can be a real pain in the arse. hope you get well soon.
    great that coffee works for most people. if i drink one of those, i would need to move myself to the loo to throw up. fresh juices and green tea work for me.

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    1. I'm glad you enjoy your juices and tea. One of my best friends is quite a tea drinker.

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  6. Have you tried acupuncture for your eczema? It won't cure it; but it might make living with it more bearable.

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    1. I was just able to get to your blog for the first time in a week or so. I don't know why blogger was being all grinchy with me, but I'm back, baby. Acupuncture sounds interesting, but I doubt if my namby-pamby insurance would cover it, and it's not something I can afford at the moment.

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  7. I like coffee in the a.m. and Chardonnay in the p.m. When I take a break from Chardonnay, nothing happens. When I take a break from coffee, I get headaches and I'm a zombie. I've only been without coffee when pregnant (since I was twelve.) I'm an addict.

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    1. I wonder if there's a Coffee Drinkers Anonymous and they serve liquor after the meeting. I would go, and then drink my frozen coffee in secret.

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  8. I'm so sorry about the eczema. I've never had it, but it must be sooo irritating. Particularly when you are working on some important writing.

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    1. I've had it so long that I'm accustomed to the irritation. It's a good irritation because it keeps me awake and working, but I appreciate your sympathy.

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  9. "You're going to have to buy this sucker to get the whole story."

    I was just getting into the story, coming here for a good laugh, but now I'll have to wait.

    Spectacular tease, Ms. Janie.

    I'll have to figure out a way to help with the eczema.

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  10. You poor thing! The eczema sounds dreadful to live with!

    I love my coffee. Must be my Swedish heritage that I can drink it right up till I am brushing my teeth for bed--LOL!

    Good luck with the book!! :):)

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    1. In spite of being Norwegian, I never liked coffee until now. I know we Scandinavians are supposed to live on coffee and it runs through our veins, but my mom didn't like it and we never had any around the house except a little jar of instant for my dad.

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  11. I started drinking coffee and tea before I was in first grade, and used to be able to drink it all day long and into the wee hours of the morning without it affecting my ability to fall asleep. And I was such a coffee snob... bought beans and ground them fresh for every pot. Not any more. Now I don't drink coffee at all, and limit myself to a single cup of caffeinated tea in the morning, and then switch to decaf for the rest of the day. Getting old sucks.

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    1. Wow! You were an early coffee drinker. I picture you as a little tiny kid with curlers in your hair, a cigarette in your hand, and a cup of coffee to help you wake up for elementary school.

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  12. I've always wondered if I would eventually put some of my stories into a book and how I would go about doing it (taking it off the blog, etc.) I really like your idea of treating them as rough copies.

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    1. I shall gladly share my eczema with you to keep you awake and working.

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