Alas, Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,
You have disappointed me. I asked you for job suggestions. Although you came up with a few that were interesting, most of your offerings were quite pedestrian.
Therefore, I have created my own list of jobs that would be a good fit for me––jobs for which my particular skillset would be appreciated.
Here we go:
- A Las Vegas residency that would allow me to dance around in a skimpy costume and warble into a microphone à la Britney Spears
- Supermodel
- Arbiter of Grammar, which would lead to me having led the citizens of the United States into correct use of past tense
- Adviser to POTUS (and it is adviser; you only get to use advisor if you're British or Canadian)
- Best-selling author of a book that changes the world for the better and only takes five minutes to write.
- International Superstar
- Word maker-upper, especially for new prescription drugs
And come on! What about Queen of the World?
Now if I can only figure out how to apply for one of these jobs and who does the hiring, I'll be all set.
Infinities of love,
Janie Junebug
I just Hate when suggestions are Pedestrian. Is it too late for us to be Strippers? I've found that now I'm a Senior I have less Inhibitions than ever, so now to turn that into a Profit making Talent, that would make me a Made Woman in my Old Age, would be just Awesome. I do find that even when I have Work now, I often don't wanna do it tho', unless I can take Naps inbetween... now I know why they call this our 2nd Childhood, I have many of the Habits now of a Toddler. Good Luck on the Job Search, may it have great Benefits and bury you in Cash my Friend!
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed this comment. It is not too late for us to be strippers, but it's probably too late for anyone to want to watch us strip.
DeleteHowsabout Advisor to getting the 'Duh' out of Flori-Duh?
ReplyDeleteBetter?
xoxo
Yes, better. First I'd have to make sure a certain someone isn't re-elected as governor.
DeleteDear Janie, They all sound good to me --except "Queen of the World". I prefer advisor...or adviser at least. Great post!
ReplyDeleteThanks! Something about "advisor" looks nicer, doesn't it?
DeleteWhat about a nurse? I hear there's going to be thousands of openings soon. Hopefully you're not squeamish. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteI'm not squeamish, but I would have to go back to school to become a nurse. I don't think I want to do that at my advanced age.
DeleteI’m for Number 5 or 6. Queen of the World would be a headache.
ReplyDeleteI suppose queen is a lot of responsibility.
DeleteI am so very sorry that we let you down. Obviously we weren't thinking high enough. Or exotic enough.
ReplyDeleteI dream big.
DeleteAnd as for advisor.....try also Australia, New Zealand, India, Jamaica, Guyana, The Falkland Islands, Pakistan......on and on......most of the English speaking world, and most of the rest of it for that matter. They learned English from the Brits and their textbooks.
ReplyDeleteBut here in the U.S., we're stuck with adviser.
DeleteLove the cartoons!!
ReplyDeleteI knew I was no help. LOL!
I love the cartoons, too.
DeleteI say go for a complete different and lifestyle change and go for 1- the A Las Vegas residency. I can show you how to dance and some burlesque moves. And you can shake your ta-tas!
ReplyDeleteI do have bodacious ta-tas.
DeleteYes, as a Canadian, "adviser" looks to me like it's spelled wrong.
ReplyDeleteAnd I would rather use "advisor."
DeleteNow THAT's an ambitious list!
ReplyDeleteMy ambition knows no bounds, Steve.
DeleteGotta love Gary Larson!
ReplyDeleteI certainly do.
DeleteI like true pedestrian options for you, JJ.
ReplyDeleteBe a pedestrian who attracts hot men, sends them to worthy women like us to teach pedestrian strategies for surviving the streets, happily. Perhaps the DMV or Chippendales is hiring?
Good luck on your continued search, love.
I don't want to walk the streets, babe.
DeleteThanks for the laugh
ReplyDeleteIt makes my day when I know someone has laughed at my blog post.
DeleteHow about becoming Meghan Markle's stylist? She could do with one.
ReplyDeleteShe certainly could. I also would have kept Meghan and Harry off the cover of Time magazine. That shot made them look as if they're made out of plastic.
DeleteHow about you ask President Biden to make you the US ambassador to the Court of St James?
ReplyDeleteNow that's a good one. I could do that.
DeleteWhen I was little I decided I wanted to own an oil rig. Unfortunately the bank wouldn't lend me the money to buy one.
ReplyDeleteSilly bankers. I will lend you the money now. The check is in the mail.
DeleteNO to #7 I have signed up for that one already Many years ago !
ReplyDeleteThen it is all yours, dear parsnip.
Delete