Wednesday, July 14, 2021

BECAUSE DIRTY WHORE WAS TAKEN*

 Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

I have a pain on my right side, not in the front and not in the back so it's kind of in between but not exactly on my side, and it's a little above my hip, but not far enough forward to actually be above my hip. I guess it's hip height but toward the side. I've had it for three days.

Anyway, the pain bothers me enough that when it strikes, I let loose with an ee

Then this morning I stood up and felt a muscle spasm on my left side, though not exactly on my side, more toward the front and sort of under my ribs. The new pain causes me to emit an ii.

If I get a third pain, I plan on making it an oo so I'll have a perfect ee-ii-ee-ii-oo. Animals everywhere will adore me. I'll probably marry Old MacDonald.

In the interest of feeling better so I can romp with Sweet Cheeks (you know, The Man photographed with his butt in my bed) on Saturday night, I probably won't blog for a couple or a few days. No matter how desperate I am to mop the floors, wash the windows, mow the lawn, and do lots of heavy lifting, instead I'll sit absolutely still (perhaps with the addition of a pain reliever, a.k.a. margarita), but not here in my house.

I'll be in Stars Hollow, where Lorelai and Rory make everything better. I'm on season two, which means Jess has arrived.


Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

*Emily: (about Lorelai's shade of lipstick) That's a pretty color. What's it called?
Lorelai: "Vicious Trollop."
Emily: Now why do you say things like that? (Lorelai shows her the lipstick tube). Now why would you name a lipstick that?
Lorelai: Because "Dirty Whore" was taken.

42 comments:

  1. Well, Vicious Trollop doesn't sound as bad as Dirty Whore.

    Feel better, don't strain yourself, okur???
    xoxo

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  2. Oh no! I am so sick of pain, too.
    Rest up and be kind to yourself. *hugs* :)

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  3. That is a great line!
    I hope everything feels better soon. Well that, or you keep your throat loose for the song your pains cause!

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  4. Get better - and have fun recuperating. As much fun as you can.

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    Replies
    1. And we'll have fun fun fun till her daddy takes the t-bird away.

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  5. Owie!!! Could it be sciatica? The descriptions are similar to mine, including the spasm under the ribs. You have my sincere sympathy. Owie!!! And, sorry, but I’m not reading any more of your Gilmore Girl quotes (nor the video) because, thanks to you, I plan to watch it all. And I like it to be a surprise to me.

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    1. I've had sciatica before. This is in a different place. Every time I visit Stars Hollow, GG quotes abound.

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  6. Vicious Trollop has a lovely ring to it! Think how many guys will be able to say they have kissed a vicious trollop! I hope that your aches, pains and sudden twists of the knife are not sufficiently frequent to enable you to attain true proficiency in the Old MacDonald ditty. Better you recover, frolic with Sweet Cheeks and sing "O Mi Bambino Caro"!

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  7. You need to make an appointment with your dr. I have that but am used to it. Unless I am getting the pain wrong, it could be your hip joint. I think x-rays are needed to find out what is going on.

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    1. I've been diagnosed and I'm improving--never fear.

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  8. If you get enough aches and pains, you'll be singing the Witch Doctor song in no time! -- "oo ee oo ah ah ting tang walla walla bing bang!"

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    Replies
    1. Oh, dear. I hope I never have enough pain for that one.

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  9. Very funny! Hope you feel better soon!

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  10. Feel better, naughty trolloping fun skank.
    Love ya.

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    Replies
    1. Instead of Janie Junebug, maybe I should be called Fun Skank.

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  11. I wonder if the clean whores are envious...............
    I know not the point but still.............

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  12. I hope you feel better soon.
    I was unable to get through season one of Gilmore Girls.

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    Replies
    1. I know someone who said GG gave her a headache because of the fast dialog.

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  13. Sorry to hear about your pain. Feel better.

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  14. Vicious Trollop is a much better name ;)

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  15. Sorry to hear of your Pain, I've had one too and trying to ignore it being anything Serious... since, that just induces Anxiety along with the Pain of it. Hopefully yours is nothing Serious either my Friend and you are hilarious! I am not desperate to do housekeeping either, Lipstick Names can be interesting, but not nearly as interesting as the Names they're giving Weed nowadays! I went with The Son to pick up his Medicinal MJ and the names they've given to the various choices is absolutely hilarious... compared to in my Day when we weren't nearly so Creative about Naming it.

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    1. With weed being for sale to those who have a prescription, the weed sellers have been forced to become creative with names. I know of a line of products named for Jimmy Buffet songs.

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  16. You made me laugh at how much your sincere yelps of pain reminded you of "Old Macdonald' but I do hope you are able to identify the issue and get help for it. Drugs? I hate to take meds but if in pain, bring em on! Take care.

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  17. Vicious Trollop is a great name! LOL! I hope your pain subsides and you feel better soon and no longer feel the need to sing "Old MacDonald."

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    Replies
    1. The neighborhood likes it when I don't sing.

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  18. Ok this is enough pain for you !
    Although @Deaba she who seeks sounds really great.

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  19. Amusing to read about, but not amusing to have. See an MD. perhaps?

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    Replies
    1. My doctor is lovely and always ready to assist.

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  20. Hope you're feeling better, Janie! I had a similar problem recently and decided to skip all chores. For my heath, of course. :)

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  21. I love Luke and Jess!
    AS for your pain I feel it may be outside your body altogether, judging from your location of description. But do hope it lessens soon.

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