Thursday, July 22, 2021

A SHORT-FINGERED VULGARIAN'S* GUIDE TO REGAINING THE PRESIDENCY

 Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

I'm sure you know by now that don john will be reinstated to the presidency in August, and it looks as if his plan will come off without a hitch.

Uh-oh. I can hear your thoughts and you are thinking that you don't know what the plan is, or if you know what the plan is, you're thinking it can't possibly work.

Oh ye of little faith . . . in the my pillow guy. What is wrong with you? Rejoice in the plan! The big-handed one is on his way back.

Now don't go spreading this news around. The element of surprise is vital.

Here's the way Sweet Cheeks explained it to me:

1. Someone from Florida (I don't know who it is but I hope it's Matt Gaetz) resigns from The House of Representatives, requiring a special election. 

2. Trump is elected to The House of Representatives.

3. The members of the Congressional Black Caucus decide to vote with the Republican members of the House because the my pillow guy will reveal all the evidence he's collected to prove Democrats are blood-sucking pedophiles/satanists.

4. The House gets rid of Nancy Pelosi.

5. The House elects Big Hands as its Speaker.

6. Joe Biden and Kamala Harris are impeached––and convicted––because they were never elected (such an interesting paradox).

7. The Speaker of the House becomes President, and we all know who that will be.

Yippeee! He's back in action!

If, for some reason, the plan doesn't go through in August, then it surely will during the 2022 mid-term elections. Get ready to move out, sleepy Joe.

If you don't like having don john in charge again, then don't worry about it because you're going to die from COVID anyway, or be executed by some redneck good ole boys who take great pride in themselves.

That way, everybody's happy.


Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

*Graydon Carter's description of Donald Trump in Spy Magazine, 1988. Carter is the  former editor of Vanity Fair.







41 comments:

  1. And he seems to actually believe it! If this were happening in Burkina Faso it would be a hard script to follow!

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    Replies
    1. At one time I thought he couldn't possibly believe the garbage he spewed. I have changed my mind.

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  2. The lunacy is real.
    And THAT'S scary.

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    1. Charlottesville, the walk to the church to hold up a Bible, and many other events--especially Jan. 6--have proven to us that it's all too real.

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  3. Trump's return to the presidency reminds me a lot of the second coming of Christ -- always promised, never happens. But the faithful still believe despite all evidence of being bamboozled.

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    1. As with those who believe we are in the end times, I am counting down the days until our savior returns to the white house.

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  4. Crazy times, ey?
    Unlike the mad chatter that preceded January 6 but the security apparatus decided not to pay attention to, I hope they are paying attention now to that August talk. Sadly, million actually believe it, and we know what a deranged mob of believers can do :(

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    1. I wish we had a specific date in August to hang our hats on, but at least we know the order of events.

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  5. You are so hilariously warped! I love that!

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    Replies
    1. How kind you are! That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me in a long time.

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  6. Sounds like QAnon is alive and well:)
    YOU take special care:)
    Hugs

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    Replies
    1. Last I read, Q had slowed down with his messaging, but other leaders and groups were ready to jump in and help.

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    2. Including those that know better, unfortunately.

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  7. We’re currently watching the series Mrs. America. It is SO depressing to think of what was going on in the US government 50 years ago and what is going on now.

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    Replies
    1. I think Mrs. America is available on one of my streaming services. I need to watch it.

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    2. We didn’t think we would like it, but it was excellent!

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  8. In his dreams.
    And in many people's worst nightmares.

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  9. Was this meant to make me laugh because it did.............

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    Replies
    1. Yes! I'm glad you laughed, although I'm not making up the plan.

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  10. The man is a toon. He can't succumb to excess double cheesburgers too soon.

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  11. The previous one made us laugh and wince, and the present one is bumbling and semi-invisible. Isn't there someone 'normal' in the wings who could take over? (not Meghan Markle please)

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    Replies
    1. At least bumbling has given us access to the vaccine.

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  12. When I was in college 20 years ago I had a semester on Hitler. I have thought frequently about that class for the last five years.

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    Replies
    1. I'm sure you have. The parallels are striking.

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  13. It was a great day when, not long after he took office as President, the most exciting news about Joe Biden was that he'd taken his dog for a walk. That alone felt like cultural progress.

    But the slide back feels inevitable.

    I am eternally reminded of my favorite David Bowie song quote: "Homo sapiens have outgrown their use."

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  14. Replies
    1. I don't have to make a mockery of don john. He does it to himself.

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  15. The Crazy Train left the Station in 2016 and has been Wheels Off The Rails ever since, the depth of depravity and delusion knows no bounds. The only predictable thing is that the ReTrumplicans effectively had their Base boycott the Vaccine and I don't think they counted on the Delta Variant so now they've risked killing off their Base via Natural Selection {ain't it grand}. So, they better have a quick Plan while they have anyone left, they're dropping like Flies... and lets face it, Flies have always been attracted to shit.

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  16. The thought that some people are buying into this is too scary! On the one hand I'm laughing and on the other I'm filled with red. Things are so crazy.

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    1. I never thought the U.S. would come to this.

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  17. The lunacy just keeps getting growing!

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    1. I don't see an end. When he dies or is incapacitated, someone else will carry on the craziness.

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  18. Wicked sense of humor you have!

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  19. Ahh, politics. You’ve gotta ….hate it

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Got your panties in a bunch? Dig 'em out, get comfortable, and let's chat.