Friday, December 25, 2020

A CHRISTMAS STORY I'VE TOLD BEFORE

 The nursing home felt sad and lonely throughout the holiday season. Christmas carols played over and over sounded tinny, and could barely be heard. Decorations didn't do much to spruce up the building. It was called a nursing home, but it was no home.


I always volunteered to work my seven p.m. to seven a.m. shift on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day so someone who had young children could have the time off. We had been promised food for Christmas Eve, but by the time I arrived, the sandwich makings in the employee kitchen looked unpalatable. The lettuce turned brown. The cheese had a crust. The bread had gone AWOL.

I went about my rounds, as usual. All my patients were settled in bed. We had almost reached midnight when I entered Josie's room. I needed to check the flow of her oxygen and turn her from one side to the other in an attempt to prevent bed sores.

Josie was still awake. She looked sad, as she so often did. As I worked, I chatted and questioned her about the past. I hoped to bring out a happy remembrance of the holiday. Her memory was spotty, but she valiantly sought words so she could talk to me.

I wish the Lord would take me now, Josie moaned. I just want to die.

I remained quiet. She might tell me what troubled her.

When I was young, she said, I had a baby, but my husband wouldn't marry me. He married me later, but he wouldn't marry me then. I lied to all my friends at church and said I was a married woman. I . . . I . . . was embarrassed and scared that people would find out.

I couldn't take it anymore after a while, and I tried to drown myself because I was so ashamed. But it didn't work. My daughter knows about it. She says, Why didn't you leave him? I tell her I didn't have anyplace to go. Where would I go? 

A lot of women have that problem, I said. 

I've always been so afraid that God won't forgive me for having a baby when I wasn't married and for trying to kill myself.

We talked more. Josie opened her heart to me as she continued the story of abuse by her husband. He came in occasionally for visits. He didn't appear very nice. Josie's daughter was notorious for her nasty attitude toward staff members and her mother. The daughter came in for lunch every day. When she thought no one saw, she ate the food from her mother's meal tray.

When Josie stopped talking, I said, You know, it's Christmas. 

It is? she asked, surprised.

Yes, it is, and I can promise you that God forgives you. As soon as you ask his forgiveness, he grants it. You don't have to ask him over and over.

I didn't know that, Josie said. Her eyes grew wider. She seemed more awake and in control of her faculties.

I had to move on to my next patient. Merry Christmas, I told Josie as I kissed her soft cheek.

Merry Christmas, she answered. And don't tell the other girls what I did.

I won't tell anyone, I promised.

I left her room and spotted a handsome young man at the nurses' station. We rarely had a visitor in the middle of the night.

I hurried toward him. May I help you? I asked.

I'm sorry to come in the middle of the night, but it's the only time I can get here. I want to see my grandmother. Her name is Josie W______.

I'll take you to her, I said. She's awake.

I ushered him to the door of her room. I saw a smile--a real smile--cross her face. I had never seen her smile before.

I heard the scrape of a chair as he pulled it over to sit next to her. 

Their voices became murmurs. 

I thanked God for the gift of the grandson's visit. I had never seen him before, and I never saw him again. 

After that night, Josie seemed more at peace. It served her well when she developed a bed sore on her leg that led to the amputation of the limb. She was still alive when I had to quit my job to move away.

40 comments:

  1. Not a story I had heard before and one that is WELL worth revisiting. Thank you. And thank you for listening to Josie. How wonderful that her grandson chose that night of all nights to visit.

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  2. What a wonderful twist to that story. I'm so glad the grandson came. Many times I have been at the bedside of someone in such facilities and have been asked to pray that God would take someone. It's a hard position to be in but you handled Josie's concerns with love. By the way, I have two blogs. You've posted on my older one (Sagecoveredhills) before, but I mostly write today at https://fromarockyhillside.

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    1. We didn't know the grandson existed until that night. Thanks for the information about the blog. I thought I remembered "sage."

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  3. Such a moving story, Janie. I'm so glad her grandson brightened up her day by coming to visit. How wonderful is that? Merry Christmas!

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    1. We never saw him again--at least not during the time I was there.

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  4. May everyone be free of unnecessary guilt. Merry Christmas!

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    1. And if that requires reliance on God, then let it be.

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  5. I'm sad smiling after reading your story. It's a word I made up, sad-smiling, you know you smile while your eyes tear up because the story is sad but the ending is happy. And I'm so glad we are friends too. And I still smile at the way Franklin spells Penelope's name. Have a great holiday season.

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  6. You helped her to find peace. That is an amazing gift.

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  7. I believe that is what we are here for...moments of connection like those. They are so precious. Soul food. :)

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  8. Wow, no words. That was very moving. Thank you for sharing. Merry Christmas to you!!

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  9. A story to repeat and repeat and repeat.

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  10. What a wonderful story that embodies the spirit of the season. Thank you!

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  11. Oof! That was a tough, but beautiful read

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  12. I used to enjoy when you shared stories about the people you came to know while working in the nursing home... and I still do. Such a poignant tale. I'm betting you were a real blessing to the patients.

    Take care, and woo HOO! Happy New Year!!! (Soon, soon, soon...)

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    1. I should write about my patients again, with names changed to protect them, of course. They are all deceased, but some of them had families.

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  13. A Christmas miracle. Thanks for sharing.

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    1. Thank you for visiting, Sandra. I appreciate your comments.

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  14. What a wonderful story. It made me think of my grandmother. She's been gone for almost 6 years now, but she passed away in a nursing home, much like the one you describe in your story. Thankfully, my grandma had many visitors and loved ones at her side. Unfortunately, she was in her own world, unable to communicate with us any longer. I miss her. I miss both of my grandmothers. Thanks again for sharing this.

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    1. So many people can't communicate as they age or as death approaches. I think we need their comfort as much as they need ours.

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  15. Love this. it just goes to show how some small acts from people can go so far. I hope she found peace when she passed.

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  16. I remember working in a nursing home. The saddest thing was the lack of visits from the residents' families. There were a few who had regular visitors, but sadly, most did not, and of course, some were too lost in their minds to notice.

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    1. I didn't know that some of the patients had husbands and children until I read their obituaries.

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  17. This is a beautiful story. Your kindness really touched this woman's life and gave her peace. Big hugs to you!

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