Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,
In spite of my antidepressant, sometimes I see myself on the edge of the cliff.
It's hard to pay bills without a job, but I dread looking for something else. I feel old, slow, and unloved.
I told only a couple of people what the manager at my former job said to me. I think I'm ready to reveal it now.
He threatened me with dismissal from the beginning, and was never satisfied with my work. His early threat was They're going to come and take you out of here.
He didn't know about X's threat: I'm going to see to it that you're locked up in a mental institution for the rest of your life.
The manager's ignorance provided no excuse for saying such a thing to me.
Over time, his statements escalated to him belittling me for living where I live (a lovely neighborhood in which the value of my little house has increased dramatically), but he lives at the beaches. A lot of people there are entitled assholes.
He also brought up my age repeatedly. The statement that led me to report him: You're too old to get on your knees and give me a blow job.
Remind you of trump much?
The company investigated my complaint and decided that no one else had heard him say it, and he denied saying it; therefore, he didn't say it.
His words had more value than mine. As a writer, it's excruciating to me to have my words ignored and dismissed.
I was switched to a different manager. Her office was directly across from the other manager's office. I had to look at him when all I wanted was to never see his ugly face again.
The situation with the new manager wasn't much better. She wanted to get rid of me. With time she wore me down and I left.
The icing on the poop cake came when we moved one row over and she assigned a new desk to everyone except me. It's difficult to work without a desk.
The last of my fight was gone.
Now here I am, feeling a bit sorry for myself. I can't give as many gifts this year and I love to be a gift giver. I mailed Christmas cards today, though. I didn't know if I would accomplish that. Next I want to bake some cookies. Maybe I'll manage that.
Tomorrow will probably be better. It couldn't get much worse.
Infinities of love,
And I cannot tell you what I hope arrives in your managers' Christmas stockings (both of them) this year. Or at least I could, but it would make my comment decidedly R-rated.
Work on it a bit, dear EC, until you come up with something X-rated. That's what I would prefer.Delete
I'm sorry you were treated so badly at that horrible job. Bullies are everywhere in the work force. I hope you find another job, a better one, where you will be valued as a contributing employee.ReplyDelete
I don't picture it happening, but you never know.Delete
Oh my god. I'm so sorry that you went through such an ordeal. So very sorry. No one should be treated that way. It makes me boil inside how much your claim was dismissed, how your feelings were not taken into consideration. I know it's rough, but please don't give up. Look how far you've made it this year. I'm a gift giver too, especially at Christmas. But I have had to make changes to my budget recently. Unexpected changes. So you're not alone. I'm right there with you. Let's cheer each other on. I'll see your baking cookies for my finishing up my Christmas cards tomorrow and mailing them. Take it one day at a time and please reach out if you feel worse. May your Wednesday be filled with kindness and smiles.ReplyDelete
You've moved me to tears, Yvonne.Delete
Big hugs to you Junebug!!!!! You have absolutely nothing to worry or feel belittled over. You did your job....and those two have no right to be working in a place with those sorry ass personalities. That is out right verbal abuse and age discrimination. I know without witness it can be tricky, but you did the right thing leaving...who need that shit. I remember one day I had at a job where the boss said something similar, Only it was "while your down there, give me a blow" I told him I don't suck anything smaller then three inches!!!! He never bothered me again. He too was a smug ass.ReplyDelete
You should have made them each a Minnie's Chocolate Pie like in The Help!!!!! BWahahahahahahahahahahaha!
How I wish I'd thought of Minnie's Chocolate Pie. That's my favorite part of the book.Delete
How awful to be treated so badly at work. I really hope you find another job where you are treated better. Chin up, things will improve.ReplyDelete
Most of the time, life is better since I quit.Delete
Talk about sexual harassment!! What a horrible man. And the lady was no better.ReplyDelete
Don't even think about buying Christmas presents. Everyone understands that absolutely. Presents aren't what Christmas is all about anyways. It's about love and kindness. You have that, my dear!!
*love and hugs*
I love giving gifts, but it's just as well that my sisters and I are giving to shelters this year.Delete
Oh, that's a perfect thing to do this year!!!Delete
Oh, Janie. What a horrible experience that job must have been. I'm so glad you survived it and I hope it comes less often to mind as time passes. As you know, I'm sometimes (and was recently) on the edge of the cliff, too, despite my antidepressants. I'm sending you huge abrazos (Spanish hugs) and I hope today is at least a bit better, and tomorrow your sun is shining.ReplyDelete
You've sent me sun, and I appreciate it.Delete
OMG, I am so sorry this happened to you! I have never been bullied by a man at work. It's always been by women. There has always been one at every place I've ever worked that made me their target. I rarely complained because to everyone else, the bully appeared to be sweet as pie so I knew no one would ever believe me. One day, however, a bully left evidence. She is now gone. Good will prevail. You will find work again. You are loved. Sending hugs.ReplyDelete
Bullies are all over the place. They frighten me--especially the trump lovers.Delete
I've been unemployed since june of this year. 30-something boss was an asshole. it's harder to find a job now with COVID and if we are a certain age. but I'mma hanging in there. and may every bully get his/her private parts mercilessly kicked hard and repeatedly with a steel-toed shoe!ReplyDelete
It took years for me to find that job. I think the manager didn't fire me because he was concerned about age-discrimination lawsuits.Delete
believe me, I saw a lawyer after my termination; it's hard to prove age discrimination. I had that job 17 years with NO black marks on performance. another co-worker and I were let go in june and we are both over 60. smacks of discrimination to me!Delete
Oh, yeah, but lawyers won't take the case.Delete
Don't ever forget that you are a strong and talented woman. I hope you can let go of that weak, disgusting, and probably miserable man. He does not deserve even a glancing thought.ReplyDelete
Anyone who reminds me of X really bothers me.Delete
I am so sorry you had to go through this. What is wrong with people? I'm glad you are out of that poisonous environment and trust a job with someone that truly appreciates you and your talents is in your future.ReplyDelete
I'd like to be a reporter again, or edit at a newspaper, but the local paper shows no interest in me.Delete
Janie, I'm so, so sorry you had to go through all that crap. It's not right those kind of bosses can do that and get away with it. And bullies know how to be careful so they aren't caught. That doesn't reflect on you, it's just another way they bully.ReplyDelete
Sending you warm hugs and hoping you keep following the path you have set yourself, to do a bit of positive stuff each day. I remember one Christmas receiving unexpected gifts from a lady we knew who didn't have much. They were small but thoughtfully chosen (initial mugs for husband and me, Little Golden book for each of our young children, all from the dollar store). Those gifts meant a lot to me as I knew her circumstances. I think this year most ordinary folks have had to cut out or cut back. It's hard when you're a giver, but remember for every giver there must be a receiver. Maybe this is your year to receive instead, whether it's from a food bank or a relative or a friend. Love and hugs, dear Junebug.
I receive from Favorite Young Man every day. What you are going through, is far more concerning than the stupid people at that lousy job.Delete
Oh my gosh, what a horrible story. I can't believe any employer/manager in this day and age would behave that way. That place sounds like it's ripe for legal action! I hope you find something more suitable with people who appreciate your skills.ReplyDelete
A friend of mine who is a psychologist said, It sounds like the place is ripe for a class-action lawsuit. That would be lovely.Delete
I am so sorry Janie. I wish I could do something to make things better fort you right now.ReplyDelete
Follow the Eleanor Roosevelt advice "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent" And send them as many mental !)@+( -offs as you need to send!
You can send me a million dollars in small, unmarked bills.Delete
Some people need to be kicked to the kerb but when it's a boss it's hard this I know even though I have never worked outside the homeReplyDelete
Too many managers are in their positions because they hang around forever. They aren't really smart enough to be in the job.Delete
I'm sorry. We have all been there. If 2020 has taught us anything though, it's that the gifts this year are the people we still have around us. Quarter million people don't have that. :(ReplyDelete
Money, I have always found, works itself out much better if you don't worry. Be smart about your choices, and it will always work itself out. ((HUGS))
Favorite Young Man is negotiating lower prices for DirecTV, the telephone, etc., so we shouldn't have to give them up completely. It's interesting what you can get when you say you're going to cancel without a better deal.Delete
I cannot believe what I read. I do believe it, I see it's still happening. Is it Florida? How the hell can this be? When I checked out of corporate America, it was bad, but not that bad. What will you do now?ReplyDelete
For now, I'll sit on my ass, and yes, it's Florida. Misogyny never ends.Delete
I'm so sorry🤬 Pardon my french, but FUCK THEM. No one should have to put up with that kind of shit. No one. Don't worry, they will get what's coming to them. They always do.ReplyDelete
I know its no fun to be un-employed, especially this time of year, but something will come along. And those that truly care and love you won't even care.
Sending you Covid-19 free hugs.
Please use as much "French" as you like. It's my favorite language.Delete
What an amazing comment, Birgit. How kind you are.ReplyDelete
I'm so sorry to hear all this, Janie. They all sound like asses. Please don't make what they've said and done your internal dialogue. Their behaviour is a statement about who they are. It is not a statement about you. Sending you lots of hugs and love xoReplyDelete
They are asses, Martha. Another manager came on to a number of women, but fortunately, five of them reported him and he was fired.Delete
Dear Janie - so blinking difficult ... and exceedingly unfair - I hate being bullied ... and I trust people, so don't expect it to happen. Martha's got it right ... equally it's difficult to bear ... all the very best - just look after yourself ... thank goodness for Favourite Young Man - glad he's around. HilaryReplyDelete
FYM's response was to say he wanted to take a baseball bat and knock out the guy's teeth. Of course, he would never do such a thing, but I appreciated the love behind his comment.Delete
Outrageous! It is so painful to hear how awful people can be, and then get away with it. I am so sorry for what you went through!ReplyDelete
Thank you, Andrea.Delete