Thursday, April 7, 2011


Gentle Readers,

Those of you who follow my followers, and I know that means all of you, have noticed by now that a seventh follower has joined us. Thus, I now have two followers named Sandra. How ever shall I distinguish between them? I guess they will be Sandra 1 and Sandra 2.

I was delighted to discover that Sandra #2 (no implications by the number two, Sandra) writes an absolutely hilarious blog entitled Absolutely Narcissism. I read a few posts and found myself chuckling, then chortling, and then laughing uncontrollably. So I became one of Sandra's followers; however, she has scabs scads of hangers on and won't even notice your poor little Lola.

My favorite post so far is Don't Get Your Weiner Wet on March 22nd. It brought back so many happy memories of the days when I could torture my children and they couldn't get in cars and simply drive away. They were trapped with me.

You may not believe that your Lola could be so cruel, but I used to punish Favorite Young Man by singing in public. If he misbehaved, if he t'was obnoxious, I sang out loud and clear. Someone I love and I would sing while the three of us were bowling or as we perused the aisles of the grocery store. If he had been really bad, we also danced.

Someone I love, who was a mere seven years old, made up new lyrics to Copacabana that went His name was Rico, he had a vagina. Now isn't that just about the funniest damn thing you've ever heard, especially coming from a seven year old? I still laugh about that lyric and it was two years ago that someone I love made that up.

I still try to torture Favorite Young Man, but he simply says, Now that's just about enough of that -- something I seem to remember I used to say before breaking into the punishment songs. But Favorite Young Man doesn't bother to try to punish me by singing. He knows I'd just sing along.

So welcome, welcome, welcome to Sandra and Absolutely Narcissism. Sandra, should we ever find ourselves in a car together, of course I will sing Band on the Run with you. And when I don't know the actual lyrics to songs, I make them up, because what you think you hear is always so much funnier than what people actually say.

Infinities of love,


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