Monday, January 31, 2011


Gentle Readers,

You drag yourself, your carry-on bag, your child, and your child's FAA approved car seat onto the plane, while your husband casually walks on and takes his seat. You get the car seat in place, child safely buckled into the car seat after tolerating yet another argument from a flying waitress who tells you that you can't have that seat because you didn't buy a ticket for it and you show her the ticket and the boarding pass for your child and son of a bitch you mutter under your breath as the sky waitress wanders off vanquished but determined to have revenge, you stuff your bag into the overhead bin while the businessman behind you who is so important suddenly decides he must have something from the bag he already stowed and while pulling it from the bin he whacks you in the head with it


Then it's time to get the flight underway and the sky bitch gets on the intercom and gives the little demonstration about what you should do if the oxygen mask falls from above and she says, In the event of an emergency, place your own oxygen mask over your face first and adjust it before putting an oxygen mask on a child or someone else in need of assistance.

So now the plane has taken off. Oh no! You encounter turbulence. The plane is rockin' and rollin' like you've never felt it before. You've flown straight into a huge storm. And for the first time ever, the oxygen mask is in front of you. The oxygen mask is in front of your child in the car seat. And the oxygen mask is in front of your husband who has bumped his head and is unconscious.

Whose mask do you put on first?

Nine out of ten women (so I have been told) will say that you put on the child's mask first, your husband's second, and then your own.

Now that's not the safe, correct thing to do, is it?

You need to be able to breathe if you're going to help anyone else.

You need to be able to breathe if you're going to help anyone else.

You need to be able to breathe if you're going to help anyone else.

How many times do you need to hear it before you understand it? Will you ever get it?

I am the one person out of ten who answered that question correctly.

And yet I didn't do it in my own life.

I didn't make a life for myself.

I allowed myself to be dominated and manipulated because I was so afraid I would be alone. And now I am alone and I will always be alone because God forbid I should ever have a man in my life who would love me, or even just like me for who I am, because I would lose my maintenance. I've been conned, dumped, and divorced. I live alone.

But he still calls the shots.

Please don't do this to yourself. Put on your own oxygen mask first. You can't take care of anyone else if you don't take care of yourself.

He told me to get a life. But every time I tried he snatched it away from me. I have to keep going to school because I'm going to invent something that will change the world, so forget about your education. We have to move and it's your fault because you complain all the time that we don't have enough money, so forget about your home and your friends. I cheat because you aren't enough for me, and never mind that I don't shower or brush my teeth. We don't have enough money for you to go to your family reunion because you go out for lunch, and never mind that I've lost thousands gambling. I don't want you because you've gotten fat and you snore, and never mind that I've been fat and snoring for 30 years. Never mind that I'm sick and I won't take my medicine. I'm not the one who's in the hospital. You are fat; you are ugly; you make me sick. It's not my fault you're depressed. Not my fault not my fault not my fault yourfaultyourfaultyourfaultgetout

My fist has to punch you because it's your fault. My knife has to cut you because it's your fault. My hands have to shove you because it's your fault. My mouth has to threaten you and belittle you because it's your fault.

For God's sake, please put on your oxygen mask.

And breathe.

Infinities of love,


1 comment:

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