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Sunday, July 31, 2011
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Friday, July 29, 2011
I DON'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT MY REPUTATION
Gentle Readers,
I had a bad reputation in high school. Supposedly I was a slut. I don't think I did nearly as much as a lot of girls. No sex till I was almost 18.
Have I told you this story before? I can't remember and I'm too tired and lazy to go back through my posts to look. Oh well, if you've seen this stuff before, then you can sit through it one more time, and if you haven't seen it, boy do I have a story for you.
I kind of liked to tease some boys and flirt with them, but I had one and only one serious (read sexual) relationship. However, by my senior year I could tell that rumors about me were getting out of control. Kids were saying some pretty nasty shit about me and to me. I was really confused.
And I was in high school when the double standard (boys are cool if they have sex but the girls who do it are nothing but sluts) was alive and well. I hope it's not as bad now. Why shouldn't a woman be able to enjoy sex without being tortured about it by other people?
Then after I graduated from high school and started college, I became pretty close friends with a very nice girl we'll call Schmoozeann. Schmoozeann had been pretty close friends with a girl from my high school we'll call Barrie, who supposedly was my best friend. It was Schmoozeann who finally told me that Barrie informed everyone that I was having an affair with a married man during senior year.
No wonder people freaking talked nasty about me! Not that it was any of their business, but I don't think much of men who cheat and it's not a good idea for women to grant them the opportunity. As one who has been cheated on, I can tell you that infidelity does not lead to anything good.
Barrie had pretty much disappeared after high school, but I was able to tell Schmoozeann what really happened.
It was Barrie who fucked a married man. Maybe telling people it was me helped ease her guilt, or maybe she liked the attention she received when she told her little tales.
Looking back on that time, however, I wish I had gone ahead and used my bad rep. I could have done the nasty with all sorts of good looking and interesting guys. No AIDS then. As long as we used birth control, very little to fear.
I could have gotten me some damn good sex and I missed the opportunity.
Shit! That's all I have to say: SHIT!
Infinities of love,
Lola
I had a bad reputation in high school. Supposedly I was a slut. I don't think I did nearly as much as a lot of girls. No sex till I was almost 18.
Have I told you this story before? I can't remember and I'm too tired and lazy to go back through my posts to look. Oh well, if you've seen this stuff before, then you can sit through it one more time, and if you haven't seen it, boy do I have a story for you.
I kind of liked to tease some boys and flirt with them, but I had one and only one serious (read sexual) relationship. However, by my senior year I could tell that rumors about me were getting out of control. Kids were saying some pretty nasty shit about me and to me. I was really confused.
And I was in high school when the double standard (boys are cool if they have sex but the girls who do it are nothing but sluts) was alive and well. I hope it's not as bad now. Why shouldn't a woman be able to enjoy sex without being tortured about it by other people?
Then after I graduated from high school and started college, I became pretty close friends with a very nice girl we'll call Schmoozeann. Schmoozeann had been pretty close friends with a girl from my high school we'll call Barrie, who supposedly was my best friend. It was Schmoozeann who finally told me that Barrie informed everyone that I was having an affair with a married man during senior year.
No wonder people freaking talked nasty about me! Not that it was any of their business, but I don't think much of men who cheat and it's not a good idea for women to grant them the opportunity. As one who has been cheated on, I can tell you that infidelity does not lead to anything good.
Barrie had pretty much disappeared after high school, but I was able to tell Schmoozeann what really happened.
It was Barrie who fucked a married man. Maybe telling people it was me helped ease her guilt, or maybe she liked the attention she received when she told her little tales.
Looking back on that time, however, I wish I had gone ahead and used my bad rep. I could have done the nasty with all sorts of good looking and interesting guys. No AIDS then. As long as we used birth control, very little to fear.
I could have gotten me some damn good sex and I missed the opportunity.
Shit! That's all I have to say: SHIT!
Infinities of love,
Lola
Thursday, July 28, 2011
IF I WORE A BATHING SUIT
Gentle Readers,
If I wore a bathing suit, I fear some good Samaritans would think I'm a whale and try to shove me into the ocean.
Because of course we have lots of oceans here in the Dakotas.
The thing is, though, I am never going to have a bod like that of Sandra at Absolutely Narcissism.
Thatfucking bitch is fucking hot very nice lady works very hard to maintain a lovely figure.
I used to be skinny, but not so skinny that I had no boobs. I had very nice boobs, according to a number of young men who attended my high school. I was even named Best Body in the school newspaper. I hope schools don't do shit like that anymore. It's really pretty cruel. I remained thin until everything went nuts in my marriage and I took an anti-depressant and gained a ginormous amount of weight, leaving me feeling that I am no longer me.
Off the anti-depressant, I did not lose an ounce. Well, occasionally I could tell I dropped a couple of pounds, but I would also gain them back immediately plus add at least one for good measure.
Then recently I decided to try NutriSystem. They were having a 50% off sale on your first shipment. My health insurance also knocks some money off the price.
The nice thing about NutriSystem is that you don't have to worry about portion control or weighing how much you're eating. The food is all pre-packaged.
The bad thing about NutriSystem is that quite a bit of the food tastes like the cardboard container it comes in, and I never get enough to eat.
Always
always
always
HUNGRY.
At first, I had dreams about cinnamon rolls and other yummy foods. I felt pretty miserable.
Then I realized I could not eat NutriSystem 24/7 or I would go crazy and run to the nearest bakery, buy a large cake (the kind intended for a party where you'll serve 50 people), and eat the entire thing.
So now I take little NutriSystem breaks and have something like one of those little packets of cookies that has 100 calories or a Special K bar, which has 90 calories.
During the first three weeks I lost 11 pounds and that was about three weeks ago. I haven't weighed myself since then. I don't have a scale. But some pants that were too tight last summer now fit just fine.
However, no matter how much NutriSysteming or Jenny Craig or Weight Watchers I do, I am never going to look like Sandra.
But I admire her for her commitment to preparing for a fitness competition. Sandra, you inspire me. I'll try not to give up.
Infinities of love and pounds,
Lola
If I wore a bathing suit, I fear some good Samaritans would think I'm a whale and try to shove me into the ocean.
Because of course we have lots of oceans here in the Dakotas.
The thing is, though, I am never going to have a bod like that of Sandra at Absolutely Narcissism.
That
I used to be skinny, but not so skinny that I had no boobs. I had very nice boobs, according to a number of young men who attended my high school. I was even named Best Body in the school newspaper. I hope schools don't do shit like that anymore. It's really pretty cruel. I remained thin until everything went nuts in my marriage and I took an anti-depressant and gained a ginormous amount of weight, leaving me feeling that I am no longer me.
Off the anti-depressant, I did not lose an ounce. Well, occasionally I could tell I dropped a couple of pounds, but I would also gain them back immediately plus add at least one for good measure.
Then recently I decided to try NutriSystem. They were having a 50% off sale on your first shipment. My health insurance also knocks some money off the price.
The nice thing about NutriSystem is that you don't have to worry about portion control or weighing how much you're eating. The food is all pre-packaged.
The bad thing about NutriSystem is that quite a bit of the food tastes like the cardboard container it comes in, and I never get enough to eat.
Always
always
always
HUNGRY.
At first, I had dreams about cinnamon rolls and other yummy foods. I felt pretty miserable.
Then I realized I could not eat NutriSystem 24/7 or I would go crazy and run to the nearest bakery, buy a large cake (the kind intended for a party where you'll serve 50 people), and eat the entire thing.
So now I take little NutriSystem breaks and have something like one of those little packets of cookies that has 100 calories or a Special K bar, which has 90 calories.
During the first three weeks I lost 11 pounds and that was about three weeks ago. I haven't weighed myself since then. I don't have a scale. But some pants that were too tight last summer now fit just fine.
However, no matter how much NutriSysteming or Jenny Craig or Weight Watchers I do, I am never going to look like Sandra.
But I admire her for her commitment to preparing for a fitness competition. Sandra, you inspire me. I'll try not to give up.
Infinities of love and pounds,
Lola
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
MEMENTO MORI
It was one year ago, during the afternoon, that you were forced to leave me forever.
It was the day after your thirteenth birthday.
It was your legs.
You fell and you fell
down
down
down
into a deep black hole.
You couldn't climb out.
Not ever again.
And I thought that I would die.
Instead, every day I have to wake up and live without you.
It's not as hard as it was at first.
But it's still not easy.
After you died, I found a tuft of your soft, white fur on the dog bed where you had to sleep because you couldn't get in my bed anymore. I snatched it up and felt its sweetness against my cheek and I put it in an envelope. Then I searched for more tufts of fur that were white, and the fur of other colors, that tended to fall out more as individual hairs that would then gather on the floor. And I filled the envelope with those bits of you that were left.
The fur is my memento mori, all that I have left now, except for your collar, hanging in the dining room with the tags intact, your name tag in the shape of a heart because you are my heart. You are everything that is the best of me.
I will love you every single day for the rest of my life until we can be together again.
My Faulkner, My Beauty. Teller of all I needed to know.
Wait for me, please.
It was the night after he died that I met my beloved LegalMist. You can also meet her at this link: http://legalmist.blogspot.com/2011/07/gikc-1924-2011.html God sends help in some form when we are most in need and that night he made LegalMist my angel. She discovered my blog that night and was writing comments on some posts. She had no idea that I was getting through the night by reading her comments on my cell phone, until I wrote back to her in the wee hours of the morning and told her what had happened. LegalMist may live very far away from me, but she is my home girl.
It was the day after your thirteenth birthday.
It was your legs.
You fell and you fell
down
down
down
into a deep black hole.
You couldn't climb out.
Not ever again.
And I thought that I would die.
Instead, every day I have to wake up and live without you.
It's not as hard as it was at first.
But it's still not easy.
The fur is my memento mori, all that I have left now, except for your collar, hanging in the dining room with the tags intact, your name tag in the shape of a heart because you are my heart. You are everything that is the best of me.
I will love you every single day for the rest of my life until we can be together again.
My Faulkner, My Beauty. Teller of all I needed to know.
Wait for me, please.
It was the night after he died that I met my beloved LegalMist. You can also meet her at this link: http://legalmist.blogspot.com/2011/07/gikc-1924-2011.html God sends help in some form when we are most in need and that night he made LegalMist my angel. She discovered my blog that night and was writing comments on some posts. She had no idea that I was getting through the night by reading her comments on my cell phone, until I wrote back to her in the wee hours of the morning and told her what had happened. LegalMist may live very far away from me, but she is my home girl.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
YOU MUST BE KIDDING ME
Gentle Readers,
We must welcome a new follower: Bouncin' Barb can be found bouncin' through life at http://bouncinbarbs.blogspot.com/2011/07/ive-seen-that-face-before.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+ThisAndThatasIBounceThruLife+%28This+and+That+%28As+I+Bounce+Thru%27+Life%29%29. I hope you read the post you can find by clicking on the link because it's very interesting and unusual and Barb seems to have fun trampolining away.
Welcome, welcome, welcome Bouncin' Barb!
Pssssst - Barb, let's get together and see what we can score. We're never too old.
I also recommend you read Cinderita's very thoughtful and intelligent post at http://cinderitaadventures.blogspot.com/2011/07/will-you-respect-me-in-morning.html
I wrote a ridiculously lengthy comment on this post and was not able to give Huggable Cinderita a good answer to her question. Perhaps you can do better than I did.
Now on to some very serious business: My Dear Mrs. Tuna informed us recently that the ideal blog post is 200 - 300 words.
I can't tell someone to turn right at the corner in less than 500 words. I'm totally incapable of giving a simple answer to a simple question. In fact, I don't believe there's any such thing as a simple answer. Nuances of meaning and endless possibilities get in the way.
When I worked at the nursing home oh so long ago, one of the nursing assistants asked me what I was going to do with several cups of ice.
Put it down your pants, I responded.
Then I explained that I was actually taking it to put in the watcher pitcher of a man who was in isolation. We couldn't take the pitcher out of the room to refill it, but we could take ice in to add it.
The assistant's response to this was, There's no such thing as a yes or no answer to a question with you, is there?
I had to admit there is not. There's simply too much in the world that must be explained or pondered out loud before I answer a question.
I can't help it.
God made me this way.
Infinities of love,
Lola
We must welcome a new follower: Bouncin' Barb can be found bouncin' through life at http://bouncinbarbs.blogspot.com/2011/07/ive-seen-that-face-before.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+ThisAndThatasIBounceThruLife+%28This+and+That+%28As+I+Bounce+Thru%27+Life%29%29. I hope you read the post you can find by clicking on the link because it's very interesting and unusual and Barb seems to have fun trampolining away.
Welcome, welcome, welcome Bouncin' Barb!
Pssssst - Barb, let's get together and see what we can score. We're never too old.
I also recommend you read Cinderita's very thoughtful and intelligent post at http://cinderitaadventures.blogspot.com/2011/07/will-you-respect-me-in-morning.html
I wrote a ridiculously lengthy comment on this post and was not able to give Huggable Cinderita a good answer to her question. Perhaps you can do better than I did.
Now on to some very serious business: My Dear Mrs. Tuna informed us recently that the ideal blog post is 200 - 300 words.
I can't tell someone to turn right at the corner in less than 500 words. I'm totally incapable of giving a simple answer to a simple question. In fact, I don't believe there's any such thing as a simple answer. Nuances of meaning and endless possibilities get in the way.
When I worked at the nursing home oh so long ago, one of the nursing assistants asked me what I was going to do with several cups of ice.
Put it down your pants, I responded.
Then I explained that I was actually taking it to put in the watcher pitcher of a man who was in isolation. We couldn't take the pitcher out of the room to refill it, but we could take ice in to add it.
The assistant's response to this was, There's no such thing as a yes or no answer to a question with you, is there?
I had to admit there is not. There's simply too much in the world that must be explained or pondered out loud before I answer a question.
I can't help it.
God made me this way.
Infinities of love,
Lola
CINDERITA AND MOI
Gentle Readers,
I hope you will read this post by the charming Cinderita because it's a lovely post and if you will read all the way to the end, you will discover that she actually mentions ME! Yes, MOI!
She claims my comments on her posts make her laugh. And you all know, I hope, that my goal in life -- even when I'm depressed -- is to make you laugh. I always say I'm the most cheerful depressed person you'll ever meet.
Infinities of love,
Lola
I hope you will read this post by the charming Cinderita because it's a lovely post and if you will read all the way to the end, you will discover that she actually mentions ME! Yes, MOI!
She claims my comments on her posts make her laugh. And you all know, I hope, that my goal in life -- even when I'm depressed -- is to make you laugh. I always say I'm the most cheerful depressed person you'll ever meet.
Infinities of love,
Lola
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