Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,
I've decided to share some information about myself with you. I'm known here as Janie Junebug, but that's not my real name.
I know my real name because it's the name Mother used for me all the time. My real name is That Goddam Kid.
Mother tended to run with a theme. I have one sister name named That Goddam Girl and another who is simply named Goddam it.
However, That Goddam Kid is not the name on my driver's license. My legal name is You Little Shit.
We kids shared the same nickname, though, and we heard it regularly––as in If you think you're going to that party, then you've got another think coming, old girl. Or if you think you're wearing that to school, then you've got another think coming, ________I bet you can fill in the blank.
When I told Sweet Cheeks my real name, he decided to share his real name with me. His mother called him you guttersnipe––as in You got dirty playing, you guttersnipe.
I was shocked. He must be plagued by insecurities after being called a name that horrific. I hope he changes it.
Infinities of love,
Janie Junebug
I was probably '...should be seen and not heard'. I think they were fibbing. I don't think they really liked seeing me/us either.
ReplyDeleteAt least you got a name out of it.
DeleteGruesome lot of cartoons today. I wonder if any of we war/post-war babies had a wonderful childhood. Or if any of the current over indulged Gen X-ers are any better off.
ReplyDeleteDoes anyone at any time have a happy childhood? Children have no control over their lives.
DeleteMine were less repeatable in polite company. Sometimes, I was Shit for Brains, but that was usually reserved for my sister. Maybe we’re related!
ReplyDeleteMy ex-husband's father called him shit for brains. I don't like to think about you being related to him.
DeleteMine was "don't you dispute my word, young lady"
ReplyDeleteThat's a long name.
DeleteMy folks gave me Two middle Names so that when I wasn't answering, if they got to the 2nd middle Name, it was best if I just left the Country.
ReplyDeleteI bet you enjoyed some great travels.
DeleteHilarious funnies, and a fun post, Janie! My mother nearly always called my siblings and me by another sibling's name. Sometimes she'd work through two or three names before she hit on the right one. And if she was really frazzled, she'd call us by one of our dogs' names.
ReplyDeleteMy mom also went through many names before hitting the one she wanted. My son was an only child for more than 6 years; X and I sometimes landed on the dog's name when we were talking about the boy. The dog's name was Tootsie, so I don't know how we got confused.
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