Thursday, May 13, 2021

PENELOPE SPEAKS: DO NOT TELL MOM MOM MY SECRET

 Hello. It is I, Penelope.

I have discovered something very important. Do you remember when Franklin told me to eat a dead lizard so I could go to France? He was wrong, of course, but I now know how to get to France, where I will eat French kibble, wear French sweaters during the winter, and learn to speak French. 


Pretend we are not talking. Act as if you are looking around the yard. Maybe some of you can sit on the deck. I will speak quietly. Mom Mom must not know about this conversation. 

I am seated next to some flowerpots on the ground beneath the deck.





The two pots on the left are new. The next one is old but intact. 

I have it on good authority that Mom Mom is going to get rid of the two ugly pots. When she planted daisies in the okay pot, I discovered the secret passage to France.


Mom Mom moved the okay pot away from the deck to put in the daisies. I ran under the deck. I was shocked by what I saw. Steps! Steps always lead to a door. I am sure it is the door to France. Before I could continue to explore, I heard Mom Mom's plaintive cry: Penelope, where are you? Come back, Penelope.

I had been found out. I played innocent.


Now I wait. I plot; I plan; I scheme. When Mom Mom moves another pot, I must be ready. I do not know how long it takes to climb the steps to France. I need kibble for my journey.






I warn you: Do not tell Mom Mom about my plans. She will cajole me into staying.

If you tattle, I shall find you. I shall hunt you down and bite you on the ass and make you sorry, because nothing can be allowed to get in the way of my climb to France.

I will be a French dog.

That is all. Goodbye. 

39 comments:

  1. Your secret is safe with me. However if Franklin reads this post he WILL tell on you. You know he will.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The one good aspect of Franklin's character is that he is not a tattle-tale. When I ran under the deck, Franklin did not tell Mom Mom. He also never tells on me when I steal pens or embroidery thread.

      Delete
  2. I know you are serious and dogs have patience and persistence. Good luck! ;)

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    Replies
    1. I am very serious. I will not stop until I reach France, no matter how many minutes it takes.

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  3. I should have checked under our building for steps to NY before I paid for my flight!

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    Replies
    1. It is not too late to search for the steps. You will need them someday.

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  4. J'espère qu'il va bien aimer la France quand il y arrivera. C'est un pays qui me plaît énormément.

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    Replies
    1. I do not know what these words mean, but I think they must be French. I thirst for knowledge of all things French because I am sophisticated.

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  5. Replies
    1. Mom Mom has a red beret from France. Maybe I can find it in her closet.

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  6. I don't think that's a good idea, Penelope. It is quite a log way and you would have to take lots of kibble and water. And Mom Mom would miss you so much.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mom Mom will still have Franklin. I will carry as much kibble and water as necessary. I am strong.

      Delete
  7. Wouldn't it be less planning and easier to just wear a beret....Buster is wondering......

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wearing a beret will not help me learn to speak French, but I will look for Mom Mom's red beret that came from France.

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  8. ah, ma chien, paris est tres bon dans le printemps!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. When I have learned French, I will return to read this comment and I will know what it means.

      Delete
  9. That's a guilty look if I ever saw one ;) all this- to go to France?

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  10. Your secret is safe with me, ma petite chienne! Don't bite me on the ass!

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  11. Mum's the word, Penelope. Mum is not mom in French. Don't be going to England, now.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't want to go to England. That's where Mom Mom wants to go.

      Delete
  12. I can't wait to see you in your French sweater, mon petit chou Penelope :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I will be even more beautiful than usual when I am a French dog.

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  13. Mum's the word or Maman est le mot! Your secret is safe with me!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Well, I can always use 'Translate' when you start blogging in French. Good luck, Penelope!

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  15. Tu est une chienne intelligente, Penelope!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I can tell that says intelligent, and yes I am.

      Delete
  16. Not to worry, sweet girl! Your secret is safe with me. Even if your mom tortures me, I won't tell. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't think Mom Mom will torture you, but she might bribe you with homemade cookies and cinnamon bread.

      Delete
  17. Dear Penelope,
    I'd like you to be a French dog and eat beignets. They're divine.
    So here's what to do: As soon as WDW visits, make a run for France. She won't notice you're missing until the next day. You're welcome. Send me a postcard.

    Love.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think you mean Daddy. He has to work lots this week. It gives me more time to gather supplies.

      Delete
  18. Dear Penelope, if you become a French dog, I shall tell your mother to call you mon petite chou, as my mother used to call me, which means, my little cabbage. It's an endearment, and one I find ever so charming.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Hi Penelope! How exciting that you found a secret door to France! You are such a beautiful girl that when you get to France you could be a model for all the beautiful French fashions! I think you would be the star of the runway!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are a very intelligent human. I had not thought of becoming a model. Now it is my goal.

      Delete

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