Hello. It is I, Penelope.
I have discovered something very important. Do you remember when Franklin told me to eat a dead lizard so I could go to France? He was wrong, of course, but I now know how to get to France, where I will eat French kibble, wear French sweaters during the winter, and learn to speak French.
Pretend we are not talking. Act as if you are looking around the yard. Maybe some of you can sit on the deck. I will speak quietly. Mom Mom must not know about this conversation.
I am seated next to some flowerpots on the ground beneath the deck.
I have it on good authority that Mom Mom is going to get rid of the two ugly pots. When she planted daisies in the okay pot, I discovered the secret passage to France.
I had been found out. I played innocent.
If you tattle, I shall find you. I shall hunt you down and bite you on the ass and make you sorry, because nothing can be allowed to get in the way of my climb to France.
I will be a French dog.
That is all. Goodbye.
Your secret is safe with me. However if Franklin reads this post he WILL tell on you. You know he will.
ReplyDeleteThe one good aspect of Franklin's character is that he is not a tattle-tale. When I ran under the deck, Franklin did not tell Mom Mom. He also never tells on me when I steal pens or embroidery thread.
DeleteI know you are serious and dogs have patience and persistence. Good luck! ;)
ReplyDeleteI am very serious. I will not stop until I reach France, no matter how many minutes it takes.
DeleteI should have checked under our building for steps to NY before I paid for my flight!
ReplyDeleteIt is not too late to search for the steps. You will need them someday.
DeleteJ'espère qu'il va bien aimer la France quand il y arrivera. C'est un pays qui me plaît énormément.
ReplyDeleteI do not know what these words mean, but I think they must be French. I thirst for knowledge of all things French because I am sophisticated.
DeleteShe needs a beret.
ReplyDeleteMom Mom has a red beret from France. Maybe I can find it in her closet.
DeleteI don't think that's a good idea, Penelope. It is quite a log way and you would have to take lots of kibble and water. And Mom Mom would miss you so much.
ReplyDeleteMom Mom will still have Franklin. I will carry as much kibble and water as necessary. I am strong.
DeleteWouldn't it be less planning and easier to just wear a beret....Buster is wondering......
ReplyDeleteWearing a beret will not help me learn to speak French, but I will look for Mom Mom's red beret that came from France.
Deleteah, ma chien, paris est tres bon dans le printemps!
ReplyDeleteWhen I have learned French, I will return to read this comment and I will know what it means.
DeleteThat's a guilty look if I ever saw one ;) all this- to go to France?
ReplyDeleteI have no guilt.
DeleteYour secret is safe with me, ma petite chienne! Don't bite me on the ass!
ReplyDeleteMum's the word, Penelope. Mum is not mom in French. Don't be going to England, now.
ReplyDeleteI don't want to go to England. That's where Mom Mom wants to go.
DeleteI can't wait to see you in your French sweater, mon petit chou Penelope :D
ReplyDeleteI will be even more beautiful than usual when I am a French dog.
DeleteMum's the word or Maman est le mot! Your secret is safe with me!
ReplyDeleteThank you!
DeleteWell, I can always use 'Translate' when you start blogging in French. Good luck, Penelope!
ReplyDeleteYou are smart.
DeleteTu est une chienne intelligente, Penelope!
ReplyDeleteI can tell that says intelligent, and yes I am.
DeleteNot to worry, sweet girl! Your secret is safe with me. Even if your mom tortures me, I won't tell. :)
ReplyDeleteI don't think Mom Mom will torture you, but she might bribe you with homemade cookies and cinnamon bread.
Deletehaha.. she is a sweetie.
ReplyDeleteIt is true. I am sweet and I give kisses.
DeleteDear Penelope,
ReplyDeleteI'd like you to be a French dog and eat beignets. They're divine.
So here's what to do: As soon as WDW visits, make a run for France. She won't notice you're missing until the next day. You're welcome. Send me a postcard.
Love.
I think you mean Daddy. He has to work lots this week. It gives me more time to gather supplies.
DeleteDear Penelope, if you become a French dog, I shall tell your mother to call you mon petite chou, as my mother used to call me, which means, my little cabbage. It's an endearment, and one I find ever so charming.
ReplyDeleteHi Penelope! How exciting that you found a secret door to France! You are such a beautiful girl that when you get to France you could be a model for all the beautiful French fashions! I think you would be the star of the runway!
ReplyDeleteYou are a very intelligent human. I had not thought of becoming a model. Now it is my goal.
Delete