SUPERHEROES LIVE WITH ME

 Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

Who's that on the mantel? 

Let's take a closer look.

I took my action figure out of their boxes so they can roam free, ready to protect us. 

RBG has her gavel. Joe and Barack are holding hands. They haven't lost that lovin' feeling. I wish Kamala had her chucks on. 

I'd like to have Hillary, too, but she's sold out not available at the moment.

How I'd love to have Justice Ginsburg on the court again.

Did you watch the beginning of the Jan 6 hearings? Liz Cheney impressed me. Maybe she'll be worthy of becoming an action figure. 

https://shop.fctry.com/collections/action-figures  Stacy Abrams is available for preorder.

Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

THE SHOOTING OF THE DAY

Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

Today's shooting occurred in tiny Smithsburg, Maryland. 

 A man killed three people at a manufacturing plant, and another person was critically injured, according to news reports. The gunman fled. State trooper(s?) found him. He shot a trooper. The trooper shot him. The shooter was taken into custody.

I suspect he didn't have an assault weapon that would have allowed him to mow down dozens, but a gun is a gun. 

For 12 years we lived near Smithsburg. My kids went to middle school there and one attended Smithsburg High School. The schools are near the plant.

Do I know the people who were murdered? Will I see the names of the victims and gasp in shock as I recall them? 

Where will the next shooting take place?

Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

SUMMERTIME

 Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

We celebrate the lush growth of summer

But the heat arrived early this year

too hot to move

Franklin and Penelope wear their new PRIDE bandanas

Summer is a rough season with its heat and storms. Sweet Cheeks and I spend much of our Saturday evenings talking about Ukraine and the horrible shootings in the U.S.

Who was that guy who said "an AK-47 is not a sporting weapon nor needed for defense of a home"?

Oh, yeah. It was Ronald Reagan.

The Lake Junebug Resort & Rumpus Room is not open yet for the summer. Perhaps it won't open at all this year.

I remain your Junebug On The Job, with black scribbly marks to keep work-related info from showing.

Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

PENELOPE SPEAKS: I HAVE MADE A JOKE

 Hello. It is I, Penelope.

First, I want to show you a photograph of myself in my soft jammies.

Am I not adorable?

Now, I will tell you my hilarious joke. I made up a nickname for Auntie Maureen. I call her Auntie More More!

That funny name is perfect for her because I want her to visit us more and give us more treats. Auntie More More! Isn't that so funny?

I am worried about Auntie More More, however. Soon we will experience some days when she does not come to see us while Mom Mom is at her stupid work thing she says she has to do so she can buy the treats.

Auntie More More must have surgery. I do not know what this means.

My brother Franklin says it means she will go to the vet and not have balls when she comes back. He says surgery happened to him and no balls was the result.

I think Franklin is wrong, but if he is right, then I will tell Mom Mom to get out the plastic card that means money and I will order new balls for Auntie More More. I will order tennis balls and plastic squeaky balls and any other kind of balls Auntie More More wants, because I love my Auntie More More.

If you say prayers, then please say a nice prayer for Auntie More More, or send positive feeling to her and to me, a poor little doggy who will miss her auntie and worry about her.

I know you like to see photos of me, so here is another one, taken when the weather was chilly and I wore a sweater Santa Paws brought for me.

I know you never cease to be amazed by how cute I am.

That is all. Goodbye. 

THE SLAP HEARD ROUND THE WORLD

Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

I didn't see the Academy Awards until Monday night. I don't have live TV. So all day Monday I avoided the news. I did hear a man at work say something about Chris Rock that sounded odd. I paid it no heed.

By Monday evening the show was streaming on Hulu and I was ready to watch and be surprised by the choices the Academy made. I enjoyed the show.  Wanda Sykes, Amy Schumer, and Regina Hall were great, proving that the show needs a host, or three. Their bits were brief; they kept the show moving.

Finally, we reached the award for the best documentary. Chris Rock took the stage. 

He tossed off a few jokes, including one about Jada's hairless head. Will laughed; Jada rolled her eyes.

Will charged the stage.

What the fuck?

The sound cut out, and then the picture. Will really had smacked the shit out of Chris Rock.

I thought the show would come to a temporary halt while officers removed Will Smith.

Instead, he won his Academy Award for Best Actor and gave a tearful, self-serving speech cooked up by a publicist and didn't even apologize to the man he hit.

I don't know how Chris Rock finished presenting the award.

I felt sick to my stomach and couldn't enjoy the rest of the show.

Some lovely women I know who have problems with a lack of hair were offended by Chris Rock's joke. I have thin hair and do my best to hide it with hairstyles. But it was the slap that bothered me. I spent my childhood and youth being slapped. Seeing some violence in a movie doesn't bother me (I rather like the choreographed violence in Tarantino movies). That slap –– that bothered me and it still bothers me; hence, I write about it a week after the event.

Chris Rock said he didn't know Jada Pinkett Smith has alopecia. I didn't know, either, although numerous articles said she's open about it.

She happens to look gorgeous with her head shaved, but if it bothers her so much, she could have worn a wig. Plenty of people who have alopecia do. She also could have found a way to defend herself using words at an appropriate time.

I believe the hosts also made jokes about the Smiths earlier in the evening. I don't remember what they said. A lot of people comment on the Smiths because of Jada's "entanglement" with another man, though Will insists there's been no infidelity.

If you don't want to face the possibility that someone will make a joke at your expense, then don't go to the show. Jokes are always made about the luminaries in attendance. 

What Chris Rock said might have been in poor taste, but what Will Smith did was a crime.

If I went up on a stage and hit someone, I would be arrested. So would you. Why wasn't he?

I don't agree with the people who say Will re-enforced stereotypes about Black men. Will Smith does not represent Black men. He represents Will Smith, and Will Smith is an asshole. Jada smiled/laughed when Will hit Chris Rock. Their son, Jaden, tweeted

And That’s How We Do It

— Jaden (@jaden) March 28, 2022

so they are a family of entitled assholes who think that physical violence is the way to happiness and self-satisfaction.

Will Smith ruined the presentation of the Best Documentary Award that should have been a golden moment for Questlove. and his fellow winners. He ruined the Best Actor Academy Award presentation.  

And I wasn't the only person who found that slap a triggering event.

Will has resigned from the Academy. I don't know what else will or should happen to him, but he sure didn't deserve a standing ovation when he went up to collect his Oscar.

Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

THEY'RE DOING CHOREOGRAPHY

 Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

Recently I auditioned for the starring role in drumroll, please

THE MAM DANCE!!!

I arrived early so I had plenty of time to change into my beautiful gown. When the choreographer was ready for me, I floated onto the stage with stardust in my hair and no deodorant or lotion in the breast area. 

The room was chilly––perfect for a hard-nipple workout. Down went the top of my gown and it was time.

Put your left arm up. Higher. Higher than that. Move your feet to the side. No, no, let me put them in position. Here and here. Twist your right side back while keeping the left side straight ahead. Right foot more to the right. Left foot more to the left.

Don't move! Take a breath. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe.  Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe.

Breathe. 

Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe.  Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. 

Breathe.

Step back. (choreographer peels my skin away from the ice-cold equipment so I can move)

Okay. Right arm up. Reach, reach, reach for that handle. Hold on. Feet to the left. Farther left than that. Back a little. No, closer. No, back a little. Too much. Just a tiny bit. Higher. Reach higher. This is what it takes to be a star.

All right! Don't move! Take a breath. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe.  Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe.

Breathe. 

Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe.  Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe.  Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe.

Breathe. 

Don't breathe. Don't breather. Don't breathe. Don't breathe.  Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe.  Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe.  Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe.  Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe.

Breathe. 

Stay here. Don't leave yet. Ah, yes. We need one more.

Arm up higher. Higher. Higher. Left side back. Feet here and here. I'll position the breast. Left foot more to the right. Right foot more to the left.

Breathe. 

Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe.  Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe.  Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe.  Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe.  Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe.  Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe.  Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breather. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breather. Don't breathe. Don't breathe.  Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe.  Don't breath. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe. Don't breathe.

Breathe. (choreographer peels skin from machine again)

Okay. That's it for today. You can go. We'll let you know.

Happily, I received the all clear for another year.

Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

not my tit

FRANKLIN FRIDAY: I HAD AN OUCH

 Hi Every Buddy! Hi Hi Hi! And Hi some more! It's me me me Franklin the Bordernese and pretty soon I'm gonna catch some z's.

Mom was gonna be here to write to you all before 2022 started, but I had an ouch that made me need extra love and attention.

On Dec. 31st, I couldn't quit licking a spot on my side because it bothered me so much. It hurt lots. Mom saw it and at first she thought I'd been wounded. Then she figured out it was a hot spot. We had to go see my doctor and I got in the car without any fooling around because I needed help.

I had an infection from the ouch. The doctor's helper had to shave some of my fur.

Then the doctor gave me a shot and he gave mom pills for me and some stuff to spray on the ouch. I felt better after a couple days and I finished taking my pills last week. I'm all better now. The doctor also gave Mom pills for me and ole Penlapee to take so we wouldn't be as scared of the fireworks that night. Mom told him we hate the fireworks. He said, This is a redneck town. I dunno what that means.

Mom said she was sure glad she didn't have to go to werk that day. I was glad, too. 

Most days she goes to werk, though. Before she goes, she always tells me Take care of the house. Take care of Penelope. I'll come back as soon as I can. I love you. You're in charge.

It's a lot of sponsibility to be in charge, but Mom needs me, so I keep an eye on everything. We do like it that Auntie Maureen comes over to let us out to potty and she gives us treats and she pets us and says nice stuff to us. We love Auntie Maureen.

Daddy comes to see us, too, and Grandma comes over sometimes. We have a great family.

Mom is kinda tired after work, but she said to tell you that she misses you and she wants to visit you all. Just be careful or she might give you sponsibility, too.

I gotta go now because it's almost bedtime. I have to sit by the bed and watch over Mom while she sleeps. 

Okay I love you bye-bye.

Oh. Wait a minute. I thought of something else. Do you remember this pitcher of my dad's bottom?

It makes me wonder if he had an ouch and got his fur shaved because his bottom isn't very hairy. 

It gives me somethin to think about.