FRANKLIN FRIDAY RERUN: MOM AND HER NIGHTIE

Hi! Hi hi hi hi! I first told this story about Mom back on Oct. 6, 2017. Doesn't that seem like a long time ago? Mom had me write it because she wanted me to make you laugh and cheer you up. I hope you laugh now.


HI! Hi! Hi! Hi hi hihihihihihihi Every Buddy! It's me. It's me. It's mememememememememe. It's Franklin the Bordernese and here in Florida we never freeze!

Mom says that lots of sad things have been happening in the world so it's a good idea for me to take over today. She thinks I'll cheer you up. She also says that next week she'll continue the story about how she was pissed.

Oh.

She says it's phished, but that doesn't make sense to me because that's not a word but I know Mom is pissed a lot. We love her even though she's grumpy and always saying Chicago prefers, Chicago prefers. Who cares what Chicago prefers? I don't.

So anydog, this funny thing happened in the backyard. It was a super duper hot day. Penlapee was wandering around, sniffing every blade of grass before she could decide which one she wanted to pee on. Penlapee is like that.

I was getting hotter and hotter waiting for Penlapee and I noticed that there was a shady spot underneath Mom's nightgown. She hadn't gotten dressed yet because she says people who work at home get to work in their jammies, but I never see Mom do much of any work.

Because of the shady spot, I stuck my head under Mom's nightie. And you won't believe what I saw there. You really will not believe it. MOM WAS NOT WEARING UNNERWARE!

It was the funniest thing I've ever seen. snicker snort NO UNNERWARE! snicker snort Mom looks so funny under her nightie without her pink granny panties! I would describe everything to you but I'm snicker snorting so hard from remembering it that I don't think I can explain it. You have to take my word for it that Mom looks hilarious without unnerware. snicker snort

The man next door was out in his yard. He's nice and he likes me a lot. I thought he could use a good laugh so I took my head out from under the nightie and I barked to get his attention. I tried to say Hey! Come over here and look under Mom's nightie. She's got no unnerware, but I was snicker snorting so much that I couldn't tell him what there was to see. He said, Hi, Franklin, and he went in his garage. Boy, he missed his chance for a snicker snort. snicker snort

I'm so tired from telling this story and snicker snorting so much that I need a nap.

Before I fall asleep, would you like a kiss? Put your face down close to the box with the light in it, and I have my face up close. I'll give you all the kisses you need. I love to kiss, but I'm not kissing Mom under her nightie with no unnerware. Nope. I draw the line there. But you can have a big kiss on your cheek or smack dab on your mouth. Ask me for a kiss anytime. My kisses make every buddy feel better.

Okay. I love you. Bye-bye.

I'M NOT ONE BIT DISAPPOINTED

Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

Last night I watched as Meredith Viera announced the winner in The Great American Read.

Various people read the countdown of the books, while Viera spotlighted the top five books without revealing which one would win. One of the five books was

and it struck me that this book would be the winner.

It was. I'm happy with that choice. This book is so moving. Viera said it was in first place from the beginning and stayed there throughout the five months of voting.

I only wish that Harper Lee and her older sister Alice were here to enjoy this triumph.

My beloved The Great Gatsby was #15. Not bad at all.

I had read everything in the top 20 except the book in second place: Outlander.

Visit this page to see how the voting turned out.


Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

VOTING IN THE GREAT AMERICAN READ ABOUT TO END

Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

Voting for your favorites in The Great American Read ends at midnight Pacific Time on Thursday, October 18. Visit HERE to cast your final votes. Remember, you can vote once a day for each book, and sign in using your email address, Facebook, or Twitter.

PBS will announce the winner on October 23.

They've also been running a series of shows to highlight the nominated books. The shows should be available on your local PBS station and I believe you can catch them at this link:
https://www.pbs.org/the-great-american-read/home/

When the voting began in May, I had read 43 of the 100 nominated books. I decided to make 50 books my goal by the time the voting ended. I'm not going to make it, but I'm not upset about it. It was a self-imposed deadline; I still have time to read.

I've voted consistently for my all-time favorite novel

The 44th book I read was

It's great.

The 45th book was 

Love it!

I'm reading two more books at the same time--but I'm also reading three or four other books, too. Can't limit myself when it comes to books.

The books from the list are 

I don't like it as much as The Cider House Rules and
Last Night In Twisted River, but it's still good.

and

So far I don't like it as much as I thought I would.

I also want to read A Confederacy of Dunces, Heart of Darkness, and The Call of the Wild.

I know this is a long post so feel free to stop reading now. I'm going to add a list of the other books that I've read and what I think of them. 

Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

1984 -- read it years ago in school and found it creepily memorable.

A Separate Peace -- a very moving coming of age story.

A Tree Grows In Brooklyn -- a book I have long adored. It's sad and funny and everything that a book should be.

The Adventures of Tom Sawyer -- a good book but not a favorite of mine.

And Then There Were None -- memorable because it's frightening but I haven't read it in years.

Anne of Green Gables -- Oh, Anne! I love you so much. We must be kindred spirits.

Atlas Shrugged -- It's been so long since I read it that I barely remember it.

Beloved -- Sooo good.

The Book Thief -- Good but I didn't think it was great.

Catch-22 -- Hilarious and clever.

The Catcher In The Rye -- I don't remember liking this one very much. I preferred some of Salinger's short stories.

Charlotte's Web -- SOME PIG

The Chronicles of Narnia -- I love every single book in the series and I often give these books to young people.

The Color Purple -- So very good and moving.

The DaVinci Code --  Hated it.

Don Quixote -- Read it in high school and I think again in college and didn't like it either time, but I do like the word "quixotic."

Flowers in the Attic -- Weird.

Frankenstein -- Hated it. Absolutely hated it. Maybe I would have liked it better if I'd read it for a class that had a good professor.

The Giver --  Great.

The Godfather -- Smutty, but when I was a teenager I couldn't put it down.

Gone With the Wind -- I appreciate the sadness of this book more than I did when I first read it years ago.

The Grapes of Wrath -- So beautiful.

Great Expectations -- Has one of the best first chapters in a book ever, but overall, don't love it.

Gulliver's Travels -- Read it in high school. Booo-ring.

The Handmaid's Tale -- Margaret Atwood has a rare talent.

Harry Potter (series) -- Love every book and still want my letter admitting me to Hogwarts.

Hatchet (series) -- I'm counting this even though I haven't read every book in the series. The ones I read were good.

Invisible Man -- Very good.

Jane Eyre -- Oh, Jane, how you do suffer. I  long to wander Yorkshire with your creator.

Little Women -- This is a rare case of me liking the movies better than the book. I think the book is long and boring.

Memoirs of a Geisha -- So good.

Moby Dick -- I have a strange fondness for Herman Melville.

One Hundred Years of Solitude -- Excellent.

The Picture of Dorian Gray -- Wonderfully creepy.

Pride and Prejudice -- Although The Great Gatsby is my all-time favorite novel, Jane Austen is my all-time favorite novelist.

Rebecca -- Mrs. Danvers frightens me every time I read this book or see the movie.

The Sun Also Rises -- I'm not fond of Hemingway.

Tales of the City -- I didn't like it, but I have a feeling I didn't really get it.

The Help -- It's an enjoyable book, but as usual, the white person who wants to write is the most important character who makes it possible for the help to have some success, which they have to keep secret. It's called the help, dammit. The help should be the most important characters.

The Joy Luck Club -- Love Amy Tan.

The Lord of the Rings (series) -- Not that crazy about it.

The Lovely Bones -- Beautifully tragic.

The Outsiders -- Barely remember it.

Their Eyes Were Watching God -- The heroine is named Janie and her nickname is Alphabet.

To Kill A Mockingbird -- Who doesn't love it?

Wuthering Heights -- I'm glad we have two Bronte sisters represented.

I'm disappointed that nothing by Laura Ingalls Wilder is on the list. I would add These Happy Golden Years and/or The Long Winter.

Well, either I counted wrong before or I'm counting wrong now, but including the books I've read most recently, I get 49.

WAVE AS YOU GO BY, MICHAEL

Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

Although the air is so heavy with humidity that it's almost unbearable to be outside, we've had very little rain.

I don't want you to worry that Hurricane Michael will visit us. Although we're supposed to have heavy rain and high winds between midnight and 6 a.m. and no doubt will have plenty of branches to clean up afterwards, we will not get a direct hit. Michael will soon be on his way to Georgia and Alabama, where he'll be much rougher.

We had a tornado warning earlier today, but I have no idea where the tornado was supposed to be.

When it rains later tonight, Franklin will hide in my bedroom closet and Penelope will tremble next to me in the bed. The three of us will comfort each other.


Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

NPR photo from Panama City Beach, Florida
A photographer tries to retrieve his equipment.

TIP TUESDAY: LITERARY TERMS

Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

Does it matter if you don't know the difference between a metaphor and a simile? Maybe not, unless knowing guarantees an "A" on a test or keeps you from feeling embarrassed during a conversation about literature.

Anyword, we haven't had a TIP TUESDAY in ages, so we'll go over some literary terms today:

• Allusion--words that make a brief reference to something in history or literature. An allusion adds meaning to your reading if you know the reference. 
• Anachronism--something placed in a time period when it doesn't yet exist.
• Anagram--a word made out of the letters of another word. My favorite anagram is God and dog.
• Anecdote--a little story or description of an incident that usually has some connection to the truth and might briefly describe something such as meeting a person who made a difference in one's life. I have heard anecdote pronounced as "antidote" a number of times and it bugs the heck out of me.
• Apocalyptic--literature that predicts the future of the world (usually its ending).
• Apology--its older meaning is defense but it doesn't have to be an expression of regret.
• Aside--an actor on the stage addresses the audience but is not heard by the other actors. In a movie or TV show, it might be called "breaking the fourth wall" (an actor looks into the camera and speaks as if saying something directly to viewers).
• The Great Awakening--usually associated with Jonathan Edwards, it's a period of very emotional religion in America that was at its most prominent around 1740-1745,

Now, it's your turn: can you provide an example for any of these terms?

Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

Source: A Handbook to Literature by C. Hugh Holman and William Harmon.

IF ALCOHOLISM IS A DISEASE, THEN WHERE IS THE TREATMENT?

Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

I know someone who is an alcoholic: a big-time alcoholic (it is not Willy Dunne Wooters).

I asked this person: Will you see a doctor? No.

I asked, Will you see a therapist? No.

I asked, Will you go to Alcoholics Anonymous? No.

I asked, Will you go to some other kind of rehab? No.

Because I believe the reason for the drinking lies in depression, I asked, Will you take an antidepressant? No.

Even if the person had agreed to take any of these steps, none of them would provide simple answers. You can't get a regular treatment that stops alcoholism. You can't have a surgery that stops alcoholism. You can't get a vaccination in the arm, a shot in the butt, a lecture from a doctor, a prescription filled at the pharmacy . . . .

The truth is that even if an alcoholic goes to rehab and sees a therapist and goes to AA, the only true treatment for alcoholism is willpower. I do know of the existence of a pill that people can take that will cause them to become violently ill if they partake of liquor, but what if the person doesn't want to take the pill? And if he does want to take the pill, then is he going to take it everyday for the rest of his life? All the therapy and AA sponsors and antidepressants in the world will not stop an alcoholic who wants to drink. The person has to want to stop and then do whatever it takes to keep away from the next drink.

"Hitting rock bottom" is supposed to be the answer, but some people seem to hit rock bottom and then bounce back to drink another day.

Willpower: a fleeting desire that is so hard to capture and exercise.


Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

The person was already inebriated at approximately 1 a.m. on Friday
when he started drinking these 13 cans of beer and Smirnoff Smash,
which he finished early Saturday afternoon. It's possible that more
cans were in the recycling bin. He also took cold/flu medicine
while drinking. This is someone who is committing suicide
in the slow lane, unless he crashes because of alcohol
poisoning, destroys his liver (which will happen
eventually), or injures himself so severely
while drunk that he can no longer hold
a can or dies.

SHERRY ELLIS, YOU GO GIRL!

Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

Lovely, talented Sherry Ellis's latest book is available. It's

Bubba and Squirt are great characters, and the book is an excellent choice for inquisitive kids––and aren't they all inquisitive?

You can find Bubba and Squirt's Big Dig To China on Amazon at goo.gl/2GMimJ

You can trust me when I say it's a good book: I edited it.


Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

So sorry that the link I provided at first wasn't correct. It's working for me now; if it doesn't work for you, please let me know. Never give up!