KISSIN' COUSINS

Gentle Readers,

Do I have news for you!

Someone I Love has done more genealogical research and discovered that my dad's paternal grandparents were first cousins who married. Now, I realize that it used to be fairly common for cousins to get it on, but it also sorta kinda makes us the product of

INCEST

It's also yet another way that we are similar to British royalty because for the longest time they were very big on marrying their cousins. Victoria and Albert? First cousins. 

The marrying cousins thing really didn't start to come to an end until, let's see, I think it was George V and Queen Mary who said their children could choose the people they wanted to marry -- as long as it wasn't Wallis Simpson. 

Anybody but Wallis Simpson.

Infinities of love,

Lola

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY

Do you believe in love, Gentle Readers?


Madonna wants to know. Something about making him express himself and then she grabs her crotch. Can you believe Madonna and I are the same age? Actually, she's a wee bit older, but I look so much better than she does. It's because I never ran around exposing my kit and caboodle in public. Boy, is she going to feel stupid when her kids find out about some of the things she's done. Or maybe she feels no shame.

Anyhoo, Dear Hearts and Gentle People, if you aren't going out tonight and you'd like to watch a romantic movie after the brats go to bed, I have a few suggestions:

When Harry Met Sally -- Nobody can order a meal the way Sally does and oy, such a happy ending!

Sleepless in Seattle -- Poor Tom Hanks. Thank heavens beautiful Meg Ryan comes to his rescue.

Say Anything -- Oy, I love John Cusack. Who can ever forget him with his heart broken holding up the boom box so she can hear the Peter Gabriel song? Oy, oy, oy.

Annie Hall -- Alvy Singer: Love is too weak a word for what I feel - I luuurve you, you know, I loave you, I luff you, two F's, yes I have to invent, of course I - I do, don't you think I do? 


It's o.k. that Annie and Alvy don't end up together. It's still a jewel of a movie, full of lines you'll want to say over and over.


An Affair To Remember -- Sleepless in Seattle is based on this movie. Affair is schmaltzier and I love it. You can't beat Cary Grant and Deborah Kerr, and the scene in Sleepless when Rita Wilson talks about this movie and Tom Hanks and what's his name talk about -- I think it's The Dirty Dozen -- it's just a hoot.


And in the Numero Uno Position is Casablanca. Bogey Bergman  "Play it Sam."


Need I say more?


I luff you all,


Lola

THE L WORD

Gentle Readers,

Today we celebrate the L word, and for those of you who were hoping for some girl on girl action, no, it's not lesbian.

It's LOVE! Remember - What the world needs now? What do you get when you fall in it?

I remember love. I remember my first serious love.

Yes, Gentle Readers, I will share with you, and only you, that I lost my virginity with my first serious love on this date in 19**.

We had been building up to it. I had a bit of a reputation, undeserved, for being a loose woman, easy, a slut. But I wasn't doin' it. I turned everybody down.

Until he came along.

The first time we were alone together, at night, in the dark, in a park, in my car, I felt desire like I had never felt it before. It was months before we did the deed, and the first time, even the second and third times, weren't so great.

But then - sky rockets in flight! Afternoon delight. Yeah, we did it after school.

That love and I moved on in different directions eventually. But oh, boy, do I remember him every year when Valentine's Day rolls around.

But that's enough sex - for now.

I saw "As You Like It" at the Folger in D.C. quite a few years ago. If you ever have a chance to see a play at the Folger, go, go, go!

In "As You Like It," Shakespeare takes the romantic tradition and the language of love and turns it on its head. He plays with love in his play.

Here's some more sex: In "As You Like It," wrestling is a metaphor for sex. There's an entire book, just about sex references in this play, and it's serious. It's a real critical discussion of the play.

Anyway, Orlando and Rosalind meet at a wrestling match and find themselves "overthrown" by love.

Before long, Orlando is out in the forest hanging up his bad love poetry on the trees: "From the east to western Inde, / No jewel is like Rosalinde."

Somehow Rosalind manages to keep her head in the face of these magnificent protestations. In fact, she represents a practical view of love: "Men have/ died from time to time, and worms have eaten them, but not for love."

But, Rosalind and Orlando manage to get together in the end, and presumably, they do some hot and heavy wrestling.

So whether you're a realist when it comes to love, or you're a fool for love, at least you believe the L word exists.

Don't ya remember you told me you L'ed me baby? Here in my heart I give you the best of my L. My L does it good to me. Just an old fashioned L song. L will keep us together.

Still crazy after all these years.

Love, love, love,

Dumped First Wife