ROYAL CHINWAG: I AM THEE PRINCESS

Hello. So you have come to see me again. That is good because I have undergone a change I must tell you about. 

I am a very grown-up dog today, no longer the childish dog who said little other than i am princeeeesssss. i am princeeeesssss.

Now, I am thee Princess, 

Protector and 

Comandor. 

Mommy says I am spelling some of my words wrong, but I am quite sure Mommy is the one who is wrong. I spell my words colorectally.

Before best frend Penny went away, she told me I would have to take her place and be in charge of this household. I did not understand her at the time. I was too busy hoping she would play with me again. She told me she could not play and she was sorry to leave me.

I still do not know where she went. Maybe to apart meant, like Auntie Rebekah?

When Mommy so stupidillilly cut her hand with a broken plate, I suddenly realized what best frend Penny had been telling me, so I took over. I comforted Mommy. I stayed close to her. I looked at her with sadness and sympathy in my bootiful brown eyes. I made myself available for any and all petting.

If Mommy had needed more help, I was prepared to run run run outside to get my hooman frend Andrew from the yellow house next door. Andrew likes to sit on his porch to make smoke come from his mouth. If I ran to Andrew and barked HURRY ANDREW HURRY I'm sure he would come to help because he likes me. I wonder if Andrew would give me a cup of coffee. I miss sharing Auntie Rebekah's cup of coffee. 

My hooman brudder and the bootiful lady came to see me. They told me I am a good girl, a bootiful girl, and a sweet girl. I do not need them to compliment me because I know I am perfectly perfect.

They are coming to see me again soon. I allow them to speak to Mommy if they are very well behaveded and do not jump on her, pee on the floor, or steal treats from the kitchen.

Part of my job as Comandor is to be Enforcer Of Rulers. 

I AM CHIEF DOG IN CHARGE OF THIS HOUSE.

I might have more very important news for you soon. For now, I must roll onto my back and smile at Mommy while she rubs my tummy because she thinks I am cute that way. She does not have any good pitchers of me on my back because I am too smart to be caught in such an embarassing posishion. I wiggle around every time she holds up the phone camera so the pitchers are blurry.

Now you must go to your own houses and yards. Do not pee or poop in the yards of other hoomans on the way. It is not polite. Be good, hoomans. 

Go! Go now, hoomans! I am tired of you.

This is what I look like when I wiggle on my back.

YOU ARE NOT GONE. GO HOME NOW, HOOMANS.