I PULLED A MITCHELL SATURDAY NIGHT

 Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

While some people engaged in dramatic attempted assassination games to help them get their ballrooms that every president for the last 150 years has never said they wanted, I took a few minutes out of the evening to injure myself. I call it pulling a Mitchell because if you have the pleasure of following Moving With Mitchell (Mitchell is one of my favorite people in the world), then you know Mitchell tends to be a bit accident prone.

I had a small, blue-and-white china plate from England that resided on my corner cabinet in the living room for years. I heard a noise one day recently when Princess and I were in the back of the house. The plate had fallen for no discernible reason and split in two. I figured it would be easy to glue it together again.

So Saturday evening I dribbled some super strong glue on one of the broken edges and held the two pieces together as tightly as I could. Then the right side slipped and gouged my left thumb. I don't remember what I said, but it was probably rather profane.

For some reason, I was surprised to see blood.

The white stuff is glue.

It bled quite a bit and for maybe two seconds I thought I should go to the ER or Urgent Care. Then I told myself, Don't be ridiculous. You were a medical assistant. You can take care of this little thing.

I always enjoyed wound care. I grabbed a sterile dressing pad, applied pressure, and held my hand up high above my heart. The bleeding stopped pretty quickly. 

The wound was clean. I rinsed off the blood with soapy water, blotted it dry, and bandaged it. 

It looked like this on Sunday. 

And like this on Monday.

The bruise is nasty, and the cut is still sore. I still bandage it when I leave the house.

But it's healing nicely.

I'm proud of my work.

So the next time you're injured, contact Junebug Wound Assistance. We have a 100% success rate.

If you need stitches, I'll pour some alcohol over a needle, use any color of embroidery thread you like, and get you sewn right up.

Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug