Friday, January 20, 2023

PENELOPE SPEAKS: AT LAST I GET TO TELL YOU ABOUT KISSMAS

 Hello. It is I, Penelope, most adorable doggy in the world. Here I am on my couch, where I rule the living room.


It has been about a million years since Kissmas and I haven't gotten to tell you about my presents from Santa Paws because Mom Mom has been hogging the computer. Her selfishness knows no bounds.

Of course, you already know about one of my gifts––if you had enough sense to pay attention to me before Kissmas. I have my beautiful hoodie costume.



Santa Paws brought the hoodie because he knows I am THE CHOSEN ONE who will star in a new movie about the adorable reindeer who can fly and his friend, the pink polka-dotted elephant. I will play the elephant in this costume, of course, and in the new movie, mine will be the starring role.

Santa Paws also brought something very special for us on Kissmas Eve. 

My big brother Franklin and I each get our very own Bark Box every single month for forever. 


Mom Mom said, YOU get a Bark Box and YOU get a Bark Box. Everybody gets a Bark Box.

She seemed to amuse herself by making this ridiculous statement so I tolerated her silly behavior.

The first Bark Box had yummy treats and some toys. This is my dragon:


My dragon makes squeaky noises. He is funny. I removed one of his ears. I think he wanted me to chew on him a bit.

Mom Mom asked me, Do you want to be a surgeon, Penelope?

Sometimes Mom Mom says the most pointless things.

I cannot be a surgeon. It is my destiny to be a movie star.

Franklin also had a dragon in his Bark Box. If Franklin wants to play Doggy Toy Sneakery, then he can take his dragon outside for Mom Mom to pick up and bring back inside. He is not allowed to touch my dragon. I want my dragon in my house.

All right. I have said what I came to say. Goodbye. That is all.

33 comments:

  1. LOL- I smiled all the way through your post. Only animal lovers get how we "know" our pets and their thoughts. xo Diana

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    1. Mom Mom thinks she knows what I'm thinking, but she doesn't know it all.

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  2. Sounds like a terrific Kissmass all around. Who wouldn't want their very own dragon?!

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    1. I know you are jealous, but you cannot have my dragon. Get your own Bark Box.

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  3. What wonderful gifts for Kissmas!! :) :)

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    Replies
    1. Bark Boxes are the best. I'm so happy I have mine and Franklin has his. I do not like to share.

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  4. Your Bark Box is marvelous! It's just like the expensive gift bag of goodies that they give big Hollywood stars who participate in awards shows!

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    1. I didn't know about these bags. I really am a movie star. That's why Santa Paws gave me the Bark Box.

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  5. My pup and I got matching pajamas for Christmas. She wasn't nearly as thrilled as I was.

    Your Penelope and my Artemis have the same adorable face!

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    1. Mom Mom and I have matching robes. They are blue-and-white striped. I look much better in mine than Mom Mom does in hers.

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  6. Replies
    1. Yes, I am. My little face is so sweet peeking out from my hoodie.

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  7. Replies
    1. I deserve everything good in the world because I am Penelope The Wonder Dog.

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  8. A dog, or cat, in a babushka always gets a smile.
    xoxo

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  9. Sounds like the critters had a grand Christmas.

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    1. My big brother Franklin and I love Kissmas. We would like to have Kissmas every day.

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  10. You're adorable, Penelope! I'm glad that you had a great Kissmas! You will make a great pink polka-dotted elephant!

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    Replies
    1. Yes, ma'am. Thank you for recognizing my talent.

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  11. I like to think of all the awards you have yet to win, darling Penelope.

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    1. Mom Mom said she has seen an Emmy award and it was gold and very shiny. I would like to have one -- for starters.

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  12. Moms can be very silly sometimes, Penelope. You would know doubt be a brilliant surgeon but to deprive the world of such a magnificent acting talent.

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    1. I am glad you understand the importance of my acting career.

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  13. Alaska doesn't play with toys so I opted out of the Bark Box. But it is super fun. I have several doggos on the route that get them. I just wish all the humans would install mailboxes that would accommodate their safe, DRY, delivery. It stinks when I have to leave them in the snow/rain.

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    1. My big brother Franklin and I mostly like the treats. The toys are good for some chewing and for Franklin to play Doggy Toy Sneakery.

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  14. Replies
    1. Some people are not able to fathom the greatness of my talent.

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  15. As far as I'm concerned, Penelope rules more than the Livingroom. She rules, period

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    Replies
    1. I am Penelope, and I agree. You are very smart.

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  16. Oh, Penelope. I know you will be the best polka dotted elephant ever. You are such a beautiful star. You'fe a lucky dog to receive all those nice presents. I think you should operate on the other dargon ear to balance its head.

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    Replies
    1. I appreciate your suggestion, but the dragon is happy with one ear. I don't feel the desire to continue chewing on him. He didn't taste very good.

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  17. You really think I will win an Oscar? I will wear a beautiful red gown. I would not take Mom Mom to the ceremony because she would probably do something to embarrass me. It's not worth the risk.

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