Hello. It is I, Penelope, most adorable doggy in the world. Here I am on my couch, where I rule the living room.
It has been about a million years since Kissmas and I haven't gotten to tell you about my presents from Santa Paws because Mom Mom has been hogging the computer. Her selfishness knows no bounds.
Of course, you already know about one of my gifts––if you had enough sense to pay attention to me before Kissmas. I have my beautiful hoodie costume.
Santa Paws brought the hoodie because he knows I am THE CHOSEN ONE who will star in a new movie about the adorable reindeer who can fly and his friend, the pink polka-dotted elephant. I will play the elephant in this costume, of course, and in the new movie, mine will be the starring role.
Santa Paws also brought something very special for us on Kissmas Eve.
My big brother Franklin and I each get our very own Bark Box every single month for forever.
Mom Mom said, YOU get a Bark Box and YOU get a Bark Box. Everybody gets a Bark Box.
She seemed to amuse herself by making this ridiculous statement so I tolerated her silly behavior.
The first Bark Box had yummy treats and some toys. This is my dragon:
My dragon makes squeaky noises. He is funny. I removed one of his ears. I think he wanted me to chew on him a bit.
Mom Mom asked me, Do you want to be a surgeon, Penelope?
Sometimes Mom Mom says the most pointless things.
I cannot be a surgeon. It is my destiny to be a movie star.
Franklin also had a dragon in his Bark Box. If Franklin wants to play Doggy Toy Sneakery, then he can take his dragon outside for Mom Mom to pick up and bring back inside. He is not allowed to touch my dragon. I want my dragon in my house.
All right. I have said what I came to say. Goodbye. That is all.