Monday, September 28, 2020

PENELOPE SPEAKS: THE S WORD

Hello. It is I, Penelope.

I have a complaint about that Human Brother of mine. He went wandering off into the world––the way he always does––and came back saying that he knows how to train dogs. Apparently, I am a dog! I do not like this development.

Human Brother insists that I sit! When I see him coming, I hide behind the theater seats. He pulls me out.



I get big scaredy eyes.

The worst part is that Mom Mom approves of his bad behavior. She told him how well he's taught me. How could he teach me? I have always known how to sit, and I sit when I please. Why should I sit to please people? Mom Mom used to tell me to sit. I refused to do it, and she said, "Well, all right then." She gives up so easily. Human Brother does not give up. 

I must admit that Human Brother gives me something yummy to eat for doing as he wants. But if I give in to him all the time, before you know it he'll expect me to roll over, which is what he has that idiot Franklin doing. Franklin has even gone to the park to practice his new "skill." Anyone could have watched him.

Some matters should be private, as dictated by propriety. I will not be on my back, allowing my woo-hoo to show.

I WILL NOT ROLL OVER! I won't do it for any treat.

Treat . . . treat . . . treat . . . I am dreaming of treats now. 

Now that I think about it a bit more, I'll sit for an entire square of a graham cracker.  

If he expects me to roll over, I want my own roast chicken.

That is all.



I shall dream about the possibility of my very own roast chicken, without the bones of course.




35 comments:

  1. A roast chicken sounds like a fair wage to me. You hold out for a proper wage Penelope. We will be cheering you on.

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    1. I appreciate your intelligent choice, child of an elephant. I do not discriminate among animals.

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  2. Hold out for the chicken--LOL! ;)

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  3. Hi Penelope ... certainly if anyone wanted me to roll over ... I'd expect to come round to a large roast chicken with all the accoutrements! So hold out for lots of treats. Look after yourselves - Hilary

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    1. If the chicken is cooked the way I like, it will come with cookies.

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  4. Poor Penelope. It's a dog's life. Or as Sophia said on Modern Family: "It's a doggy dog world."

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  5. Ah, Penelope! Hold out for treats. Shelby, the dog, knows tons of tricks, but she is smart enough to save her best tricks for the best reward. Rolling over requires people food, not some silly dog treat.

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    1. When I smell a chicken roasting in the oven, then I'll consider rolling over even if someone can see my woo-hoo.

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  6. That's right, Penelope! A whole chicken!

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    1. All for me. (Ed. Note: Penelope has drooled all over the laptop.)

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  7. Penelope, you are such a smart dog. I hope my dogs don't get a whiff of your cleverness. But I must confess that yesterday they got some of my leftover rotisserie chicken. But we are not making that a habit.

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    1. I don't always get a treat for sitting. It is incomprehensible.

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  8. Don't back down Penelope! Human brother's not the boss of you! 😆

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  9. I agree, forget those paltry treats you've been offered and demand the chicken!

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    1. I appreciate the support from all of my faithful followers.

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  10. Ha ha.
    The treats work on the cats as well:)

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    1. Human Brother claims that he once taught a cat to shake hands. I do not believe him.

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  11. Good girl, Penelope. He may give up.

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    1. I doubt it. He always has to be doing something. Right now he is cleaning up the hair in the house. He seems to think that it comes from Franklin and me, but I know it comes from Mom Mom.

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  12. Learning to follow instructions is a good thhing even when we don't want to do so.

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    1. I am afraid I must disagree with you, nice lady Jo-Anne.

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  13. pretty pretty princess, iagatha does not turn over either maybe a chicken might help...

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    1. iagatha, you must refuse to cooperate until the nice tall person offers a chicken. We have to stick together.

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  14. In this dance, it's hard to know for sure who is training, er, leading who :D

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    1. I, Penelope, am the trainer and leader and I always will be.

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  15. Janie,

    It was good to see you visiting my place the other day. It's been too long. I got a chuckle out of Penelope's dissatisfaction over the Human Brother's teaching her new tricks. It makes you wonder if pups could speak if these are the very sentiments they'd be saying. lol Thanks for sharing Penelope's thoughts. Have a terrific day, my friend. Stay safe and be well! ;)

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    1. Thank you, Cathy. I'm not around much because I blog sporadically now.

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  16. Stay strong, Penelope! My trainer Julie had me roll over 60 times in my last workout, and I had to stand up tall after each roll. Well 20 rolls in three sets alternating with other torturous exercises. She calls getting up off the floor a "basic life skill." Such is my stage in life. And I didn't get one treat. And rats, I have another workout scheduled with her in 50 minutes.

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    1. Mom Mom makes terrible noises when she has to get up off the floor. You are very brave to do what that Julie says. I usually get an animal cracker for sitting. You should at least get an animal cracker.

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  17. I stand by you, girlfriend. Sexual exploitation is not okay, unless you get a really, really big bone for it.

    Love.

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    1. Big bone or boner? (I didn't want to say that, but Mom Mom seemed to think it was amusing.)

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