When I edit, one problem I notice is that writers--and yes, I might mean you, Dear Client--fall into a sentence structure hole. That is, writers use the same sentence structure over and over.
We talked about slipping in a short sentence to call attention to important words, but if you've forgotten that tip, you can check it our HERE.
I also called attention to a sentence structure I see so often that I want to mention it again:
He wasn't that late, considering how bad the weather was.
If I tell you that you have too many -ing words, then look for the aforementioned sentence structure. I bring it up again because I see it over and over and over . . . oh, and do you remember how to use ellipsis?
In your comment, can you replace the sentence in blue with a different structure?
Here's another example of a problem with -ing words that I don't think we've chatted about here:
She was telling him that he was creating a mess.
Let's simplify:
She told him that he created a mess.
Dig yourself out of the sentence structure hole. Avoid -ing, and you'll avoid verbosity. Your editor will thank you.
This Friday, I hope to answer Linda Kay's question about words that end in -ly. I've made her wait a long time.
If you have a grammatical concern, please email your question to dumpedfirstwife@gmail.com.
Infinities of love,
Janie Junebug
Ooh! I'm definitely guilty of this one:)
ReplyDeleteIt's good to recognize changes you need to make.
DeleteHe wasn't that late, despite the bad weather.
ReplyDeleteHe wasn't that late, despite that roll in the hay with a young lady not his wife.
DeleteWow. I just re-read my last blog post and it's swarming with ings.
ReplyDeleteThe weather outside was frightful, but his wife is so delightful.
She said the traveling might be slow, so you'd better go, better go, better go.
Because he's a man, he was still a little late.
How's that?
I like it. And I don't care if your blog post swarms with -ings. Now if you write a book for publication, I shall fuss about excessive -ings.
DeleteI could definitely improve my writing by varying my sentence structure more.
ReplyDeleteKnowing is half the battle, but where is the war?
DeleteI write the same way I talk, so it always seems right to me!! (& you're welcome.)
ReplyDeleteI love your writing, so I'm sure I'd love the way you speak.
DeleteI probably do the (ing) thing all the time. It just didn't stand out to me until now.
ReplyDeleteUnless you're writing for publication, I don't think you need to worry about it.
DeleteI've been in a structure hole and I don't want to go back there. It's not pretty.
ReplyDeleteI can't imagine how nasty that is.
DeleteHmmm, does this mean I need to actually reread what I wrote before? (Easier than rereading what I haven't written yet.) The things we must do for the sake of our readers, who, no doubt, will thank you for the tip.
ReplyDeleteIn spite of the crappy weather, he arrived only moments late.
Cheers!
Crappy weather always makes for a good excuse. I reread what I write and still find mistakes later.
DeleteHey Janie,
ReplyDeleteI never have grammatical concerns, my considerate friend. In fact, I'm well into grammar anarchy.
Take care,
Gary :|)
I like a good anarchist. Keep up the fight.
DeleteOh my...guilty!
ReplyDeleteDon't listen to me! I'm an idiot.
DeleteSentence structure, oh no.............don't confuse me
ReplyDeleteIgnore it. Continue to write exactly as you do now.
DeleteThat's a great tip. "The inclement weather could excuse his mild tardiness." Better? Worse? YOU decide.
ReplyDeleteI like "mild tardiness." It sounds kind of naughty. I don't know why.
DeleteI'm guilty, and my commas need an update lesson plan.
ReplyDeleteI hereby dismiss all charges. We'll cover commas later.
DeleteJanie, No problems visiting today using Firefox. Did you do something on your end or did it clear itself? Thanks for the writing tip for "ing" words. I admit, I fall into this trap all too often, so it's good to have reminders to find better ways to express the same thought. Thanks, my friend!
ReplyDeleteI didn't do a thing. Must have been a temporary thing. Let's hope it doesn't return.
Delete