I tried to do something creative to follow-up on my poem about a certain presidential candidate, but I messed it up and it didn't work.
Let's all be happy, happy, happy! We're not scared!
Whoo-hoo!
Hey, I know something cool! Remember Robyn Alana Engel who blogs at Life By Chocolate?
Remember that Robyn Alana Engel wrote a memoir-ish book called Woman on the Verge of Paradise? You can buy it on Amazon at http://goo.gl/0P1X8V.
Robyn Alana Engel has an advert for her book in Kirkus Reviews!
Robyn Alana Engel quotes ME in the advert! I don't think I really said it, though, because it's such a good quotation. But if Robyn Alana Engel put me in the advert, then I must have said it or written it in icing on a sugar cookie.
Here's the link: https://goo.gl/lrXCR1
If you can't find the ad in the bottom right corner of the page, then go to Life By Chocolate to tell Robyn Alana Engel that you want to see my words in her
Notice how I use advert most of the time. It's because Madonna and I are the same age, and she grew a British accent while she lived in England, so she probably uses British slang, too, and that means I do what Madonna does, except––get naked and have photos taken that I put in a book (okay, maybe once I had a naked photo taken but it is NOT in a book, just a magazine); pretend to be posh and British because I married a British director who now calls me a monster; think I can sing and dance when my dancing is simply striking a pose but kajillions of people watch me and pay the rent money for tickets to my show; and, last but certainly not least, wear a cone bra and hump the stage.
Robyn Alana Engel and I have also discovered we're a pretty good comedy team. We will replace Tina what's her name and Amy what's her name and host awards shows on TV and be on Saturday Night Live occasionally but only occasionally because we're so cool we've outgrown that crap and write books that sell a little bit more than Woman on the Verge of Paradise, which deserves more sales.
So there.
Love,
Janie Tina Junefey
omgomgomgomgomg omg I will watch you take over any award show together.
ReplyDeleteGlad to know you are doing fine.
I guess that means I don't have to send 10 page e-mail
cheers, parsnip
It's very kind of you to accept us as the mistresses of mirth. No ten pages needed. I simply want a kiss from thehamish.
DeleteI could easily see you both kill it at the Golden Globes
ReplyDeleteThank you. We look forward to entertaining you.
DeleteEspecially if we dressed up like the ladies do for the red carpet - boobs popping out (drooping down) and all. Imagine the ratings!!
DeleteThank you so much for your awesomeness, JJ!
Birgit is pretty awesome too. We could have her do the interviews as people are walking along the red carpet.
Birgit, join us. Please!
DeleteI would love to see you hosting a show! So pleased you kicked the 'scaredy cat' in the butt and are feeling very upbeat today. Have a great weekend!!!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Nicola! I'll let you know when we'll host a show. Don't hold your breath.
DeleteThat's cool on both counts. Let's hope this ups Robin's sales!
ReplyDeleteHer sales were up the day the ad went in. Go, Robyn Alana Engel!
DeleteWoohooooo! I loves ya, Tina-Janie. PVP is a cool pickle too. My sales are still much higher since you were quoted - in the top 1000 on Kindle. But yeah, I need more, more, more sales. I think we need to show more cleavage, JJ!
DeleteAnd I have plenty to show, Amy. My boobs are gigantic. With a good Victoria's Secret bra, I can get the girls to go from my knees all the way up to my belly button.
DeleteSo you are quoted in Kirkus! Nice. I have Robyn's book (ebook from Amazon) and it is fabulous. I wrote a review (on Amazon), but am not quoted in Kirkus - yet!
ReplyDeleteRelieved that you are not scared.
Thanks for writing a review on Amazon. Robyn will give a copy of the book to anyone who agrees to write a review on Amazon. Tell the world!
DeleteHaha. Yes, tell every person in the world. I need five more. Just five more reviews, til Amazon promotes my book. I can get five, right? Five is all I need. Do I have five volunteers to read - or pretend to read and love - my book and write an Amazon review? I only need five!
DeleteROBYN ONLY NEEDS FIVE MORE REVIEWS ON AMAZON! SHE WILL GIVE YOU HER BOOK FOR FREE. YOU READ IT AND REVIEW IT. GET WITH THE PROGRAM.
DeleteI dreamed about Robyn last night. Nothing weird. She was just there being nice. I don't remember if I have dreamed of you yet, but it just might happen. Hopefully, everything will turn out good when I do. It is spooky what the subconscious mind will do when no one is watching.
ReplyDeleteI never remember my dreams. I know what happened in them the moment that I wake up, but then the memory disappears immediately--too fast for me to even write it down. I have lots of nightmares, so please try to dream that I have sweet dreams. Dream of me baking cookies for you (Norwegian cookies).
DeleteThere must be an open mic night somewhere where you two can hone your skills.
ReplyDeleteThat might be difficult since we've never met . . .
Delete