Monday, June 3, 2013


Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

Several weeks ago, my beloved Nicki Elson (author of Three Daves and Divine Temptation) at Nicki Elson's Not-So-Deep Thoughts gave me The Liebster Award. What with this, that, and the other thing – such as getting my car stuck in the mud – I haven't yet accepted this kindness. So, today, Yes, Nicki Elson, I accept your challenge.

I believe I've received this award before, and a few people have given it to me but I didn't accept because I had too much going on and I had run out of lies facts about myself. I don't want anyone to think I'm playing favorites. If I didn't accept the Liebster from you, then it wasn't because it came from you. I was just plain too unimaginative at that moment to think of crap to say about me.

The rules for this award are as follows:

This award is given to bloggers by bloggers and gives glimpses into our lives. We give 11 fun facts about ourselves, answer 11 questions, pass the award on to 11 bloggers and then ask 11 new questions. 

Here are my fun lies facts:

  1. Elisa, at The Crazy Life of a Writing Mom, is my middle child, as you already know. What you don't know is that she had an identical twin sister I gave up for adoption because I liked Elisa better. She was easier to pop out.
  2. I'm a real bitch extremely effective at complaining and often get businesses/stores to do what they should have done in the first place without a complaint.
  3. A man I've known less than a week is sitting next to me, right now, wearing nothing but a pair of short shorts. He is asleep and sawing logs.
  4. I am a gymnast and was on the Olympic team during whatever year it was that President Carter decided to boycott the Olympics. 
  5. I was favored to win 19 gold medals at the Olympics.
  6. I was an award winning debater in high school.
  7. I married Dr. X to make my mom shut up.
  8. I can't remember our wedding. I know I arrived at the church. I know who the best man, matron of honor, and groom were, but the ceremony is a blank. I think I was the bride.
  9. I've been in rehab for sexual addiction more than once. 
  10. The rehab never works. I always return to my addiction as fast as I fricking can.
  11. Kianwi at simply she goes is my mom, but not the one who needed to shut up so I married Dr. X. The mom who needed to shut up adopted me. Kianwi gave me up because she hadn't yet left the convent. 

All righty, then. Now I have to answer Nicki Elson's questions:

1. Les Mis or Sweeney Todd?
I've never seen either one performed live, so I'm choosing between the movies. The obvious answer is Sweeney Todd because my lover, Johnny Depp, is THE STAR.
2. If you were a comic book superhero, what wold your name be?
Janie Juneboobs
3. What are the toppings on your dream hamburger?
Lettuce and tomato, and you'd damn well better not bring me a pickle
4. What city (that you've never visited) do you most want to visit?
5. Favorite city (that you have visited).
San Francisco
6. Which Disney character is most like you?
Sleeping Beauty
7. Why? (in follow up to question 6)
I'm tired.
8. You can only choose one: would you rather write a book that's a best seller or a book that's highly acclaimed?
Highly acclaimed – duh
9. What's your biggest pet peeve when it comes to grammatical mistakes in a published book?
I refuses to anser such a silly kwestion becuz grammar don't matter.
10. If you could live permanently in any decade, which would it be?
Can't answer on the grounds it may incriminate me
11. Who's your favorite fictional romantic couple?
Fitzwilliam and Elizabeth
Now I'm to give the award to 11 other bloggers. If you see that I've given the award to you, then please say so in a comment so I don't have to contact you to tell you about it because I'm really too lazy to contact you but will feel guilty when I don't. Baby needs a new pair of shoes! Give me 11:

  1.  INGER
  3. HALEY
And last, but certainly not least, I must ask 11 questions to be answered by the bloggers I've nominated if they get around to accepting the award:

  1. Who is Elisa's twin sister?
  2. Are any of the fun facts about me true?
  3. If any of them are true, then which ones are true?
  4. Do I snore?
  5. How many siblings do I have?
  6. How many sisters do I have?
  7. How many of my sisters are bitches?
  8. How many dogs do I have? How many of my dogs are bitches?
  9. Where am I going on vacation this summer?
  10. Am I beautiful, gorgeous, or very, very pretty?
  11. Do I love Coffeypot?
If I nominated you for the award and you accept it, then please link back to me in your post.

Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug


  1. Oh, this was a hoot to read and enjoy! I think you need to do a series of posts where you interview yourself just so we can find out more information on you.

    Thank you for the nomination! I will get busy working on it!

    1. Lies, all lies. Janie Junebug lies about Janie Goltz. (We have kind of a split personality thing going on.) Seriously, I'm thrilled that you are accepting.

  2. I wrote about dogs today. I'd say please stop by, but you always do.

    I take it your sisters do not follow your blog?

    Thanks, Janie B. Juneboobs.

    1. As far as I know, my oldest sister stops by occasionally and is appalled. Thank you for getting my name right. What does the B. stand for? I should know since it's my name, but for some reason I'm having trouble remembering.

  3. I don't think it's LOVE as much as it's LUST... and with you being an alleged sex addict, I can understand. What's not to carve. The only draw back is, you don't like pickles, which can be a great addition to any situation.

    1. You don't know that I'm in love with you, my darling? I lust after you, too, but it's true love. You're right about pickles, I'm sure, but I can't deal with them.

  4. Thank you VERY MUCH for not nominating me!! (I'm serious!!)

    1. I knew you wouldn't want it, but if you receive nominations from other people, it's okay to say thanks, but no thanks. For a while I was getting so many of these things that I stopped accepting them.

  5. HaHA! This was a blast to read, Sleeping Beautyboobs. Thank you for fulfilling your Leibster duties with panache. The awardees have quite the task ahead of them.

    1. Maybe I should have give it back to you so you could deal with the task. You'd do so well.


  6. Who is Elisa's twin sister? Whoopie Goldberg
    Are any of the fun facts about me true?only the fun ones
    If any of them are true, then which ones are true? I don't mess with Janie Juneboobs.
    Do I snore? like the chainsaw massacre
    How many siblings do I have? You have four siblings and are an only child.
    How many sisters do I have? wicked with of the east, north, and south.
    How many of my sisters are bitches? see above
    How many dogs do I have? How many of my dogs are bitches? three dogs and none of them are bitches. They're just cranky.
    Where am I going on vacation this summer? Hernando
    Am I beautiful, gorgeous, or very, very pretty?Your stage name includes all three
    Do I love Coffeypot?You lust for his pickle. I hear it's a sweet, but tiny, gherkin.

  7. I enjoyed reading your answers. I assume Elvis Aaron Schwartz knows about your sex addition...and the guy who's sleeping next to you snoring logs? ;)

    1. No one knows about my sex addiction. It's a secret.

  8. The stupid reply button is not working. Have you heard of the Junie B. Jones books for kids? Truly hilarious. When I first started following you, I got your name and her name all confused. That's why sometimes you have a B. I believe it stands for Beatrice.

    1. I've never heard of those books. I think I'll make Beatrice my middle name. I like it.

  9. Dearest Janie, Thank you so much for this nomination, it really means a lot to me. However, I decided a long time ago now that I can't accept these honors. Between hubby and dogs and house work and blogging and outdoor work, there just isn't enough time for me. A blogger friend made a nice little Award Free sign that I posted in my sidebar. So thank you so much, it is wonderful to be appreciated by my blogger friends. Not to mention the Grammar Police herself!

    1. I'm sorry, Inger. I didn't remember that you have the Award Free sign. No problem.

  10. Not that I'm surprised, but your answers are a real hoot. Thanks for the nomination, but I'll have to decline. I already accepted that award some time back, and don't think I should be a greedy pig. Since I've declined this award from several others recently, I reckon I oughta be consistent. (Darn it. Your questions are a hoot, too.)But thanks. I do appreciate it.

    1. I chose you because I knew you'd come up with hilarious answers to the questions, but I understand the decline.

  11. I liked this post, and high five to you on the award........

  12. Hi Janie .. fact or fiction .. glad you want to see London .. congratulations on the awards and for passing them on ..

    Cheers Hilary

    1. Oh, Hilary! I long to visit London and other parts of England, too. I want to wander the moors like the Bronte sisters, and pay homage to Sylvia Plath by leaving tulips at her grave. I majored in English. I should get to see England before I die.

  13. Well, I know you love Johnny Depp, so they aren't all lies--ROFL! But I am sure there are some lies in there somewhere. ;)

  14. Thank you for nominating me! I loved your response to "why" you chose Sleeping Beauty. At first I thought you were just being funny and saying "I'm tired" because you were, in fact, too tired to type a response to the question, but then I realized it was probably a reference to the whole, you know, sleeping thing. The fact that I did not catch that right away is a sign that I, too, am quite tired as I type this.

  15. Janie Juneboobs! I love it :) Well, I know number three is true...unless he wasn't wearing any shorts at all! And naturally number 11 is true.


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