Monday, October 31, 2011


Gentle Readers . . .  and Maxwell,

I'm concerned that some of you might feel left out today because perhaps you don't celebrate Halloween in your country. So if your country isn't involved in this strange business of begging for candy, then please feel free to write about a holiday in your country that we don't have in the U.S. -- like Christmas.

So anyhoo, today's What? Monday question is

What is your favorite Halloween memory or what's the best costume you've ever seen?
When I was but a wee child in Haven, Kansas, before we moved to the great city of Topeka, Halloween was a totally different animal than it was in a city.
Black Kitty In Haven, my sister who was a few years older than I was, trick or treated with me, and we were perfectly safe. It never occurred to people that candy had to be wrapped. There were two elderly sisters who lived together and when we knocked on their door, they answered holding a tray of freshly baked and decorated homemade sugar cookies. At another house, we got caramel apples. Everyone knew who we were, but pretended not to.
So Halloween in Haven is a happy memory for me.

I also have a story my sister (the one who is recovering from a stroke) told me about Halloween in Haven. When she was a teenager, she and her friends went out egging cars. Not cars parked in driveways or along the street. Oh no. They egged cars people were actually driving.

So a car came along and they made a direct hit to the driver's side of the windshield. The car stopped. They were frightened and prepared to flee, but waited briefly to see if the driver would actually get out.

He did.
VampireIt was our brother and he descended on the group like Satan seeking virgins.

My sister said she never ran so fast in her life. He didn't see her, and she never told him she was part of the group.

I love that story.

Infinities of love my weenies,

Frankenstein's Bride

I got out one of my old uniforms to wear tonight when I give candy to the adorable children. If they're as grabby as they were the last time I handed out goodies, I'll threaten to take their temperatures -- rectally.


  1. Interesting read! I caught this post from your title and glad that I found it! Keep up the great work with your blog and I look forward to reading your next post!

  2. "So if your country isn't involved in this strange business of begging for candy, then please feel free to write about a holiday in your country that we don't have in the U.S. -- like Christmas."

    I am absolutely in love with that line, for all its implied meanings!

  3. Not sure what kind of people who will knock on your door tonight if you wear THAT costume! Watch out now.

  4. Yeah we here in Canada have never heard of Christmas, what's that? Just don't follow thru on that rectal threat, might get real cops at the door..haha

  5. Happy Hollow Weenie!!!!!!!!

    Oh wait, that's what you had when you were married.

    Eat lots of candy.
    Don't scare the kiddies.
    And my neighbors want to know when you're coming again...apparently they liked when you mooned them.

  6. I'm spending Halloween working the night shift at the front desk of an inner city police station. Now that is horrible.

  7. I don't remember trick or treating much when I was a kid. My family stopped fairly early in my childhood but I do remember that our favorite place to go was my grandparents' house because they gave out king sized candy bars!
    Happy Halloween!!

  8. That was priceless! I never get away with anything either. Sigh.
    Oh well. Not sure how many will come to my door tonight but if I can manage to quit being sick I'm dressing up like cat woman. Oh yeah. Might as well shock the pants off all of them.

  9. Hope your sister heals quickly, enjoyed reading her story.

    My favorite Halloween STORY to tell is that my Mom put one big sheet over all 10 of us when we were small so we went as one big ghost.


  10. In order to make an allusion to Calvin and Hobbes, one year I dressed up as a barrel of radioactive waste. I had lights and everything. And I was about 10. I'm awesome.

  11. Happy Halloween!
    In Mexico people celebrate The Day of the Dead.

  12. Since I'm Satan I don't need a costume.

  13. Best costume ever, I saw on the news. It was for the Obama/McCain election year, and the boy was a ballot box.

    He would stick his head inside the costume so it was private, and the neighbors would put the candy in the slot for their choice canidate. At the end of the night he tallied his "votes".

    Maybe we should pick all members of congress this way. :)

  14. ROFL! This is sooo hysterical. I LOVE your one-liners :)

  15. Elisa, Thank you so much.

    Julianna, That costume would be great. Definitely the way to avoid hanging chads.

    Interwebs, You are not Satan. It's just your imagination dear.

    My 2 Pesos, I had forgotten about the Day of the Dead. Did you picnic in a cemetery today?

    Maxwell, You are awesome. Look at you -- you get your own separate salutation at my blog.

    stopsign, Your mom was very creative, and my sister continues to improve.

    Melynda, Cat Woman is cool. Use your powers wisely.

    Princess, Your grandparents sound great!

    Poor, poor Tony. You will see so many freaks and vampires tonight.

    Stephanie, Hollow Weenie! Love it. Tell the neighbors I'll return soon for another show.

    Pat, The rectal thermometer is really for you darling.

    Queen Bee, You never know what I might do!

    Mr. Fox, Thank you. I thought it was rather amusing myself.

    Jason, Thank you. Now I have to check you out buddy.

  16. I just want those kids to hurry and take my candy, I feel my ass spreading as I type this.

  17. My favorite Halloween memory: For a year, my sister and I were in the same elementary school, Riverside Elementary in Coral Springs, Florida. She was in kindergarten and I was in 5th grade.

    Mom had found Meridith a long green shirt, as close to the green of the Statue of Liberty as it could be, and she had made a crown and a torch, and we wrapped a book in the same green color.

    During lunch, the kindergartners were going to parade in their costumes in the cafeteria. Here, we had done all this work, and there was Meridith during this parade, wearing only the green shirt. I don't remember what had happened to the crown, the torch or the book (Maybe she just didn't want to wear the complete costume), but she lived up to her reputation of being quite different, a reputation she proudly embraces today, and which I'm always proud of.

  18. ---did you end up taking any of the monsters' temperatures?HAHA (is that spelled properly?)

  19. LOL this is GREAT!
    For some reason, a lot of peoople think that malaysia doesn't celebrate halloween just because, well, it's small and its not america. Isn't that funny?

    ha ha ha ha

    Ok, I am not amused. I guess that's ignorance for you. Not a crime, just an accident. I can't believe your sister did that! I would never have the nerve xD

  20. Not the best costume, but I went to my local shop on saturday and stood behind a giant smurf who was buying a loaf of bread.

    Smurfs like toast....who knew ???

  21. My Dear Mrs. Tuna, Clench those cheeks. End the spread!

    Rory, I think it's lovely that you have such a high opinion of your little sister.

    myinnerchick, Your spelling and punctuation were perfect. I turned off the lights and hid in the back of the house. Never went near the door. My thermometer is unused.

    Punk Chopsticks, I wouldn't have the nerve either.

    dirtycowgirl, Of course Smurfs like toast.


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