UPDATE ON THE GREAT AMERICAN READ

Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

Remember when I told you about The Great American Read?

No? Then check out this post.

On days that I'm extra busy––which is almost everyday––I only vote for my all-time favorite:

However, I've also voted for

and

Additionally, I've now read another book from the list of 100, which brings me to 44 of the books. I don't know why I never read this great book before:

I still hope to read 50 of the books by the time voting ends on Oct. 18. I have my next book picked out. It's by an author I really like, so I should have another update on my reading in a few weeks.


Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

A QUESTION FOR MY CANADIAN SISTERS

singing: O, Canada, our home and native land . . . oops! Sorry. I was practicing.

Canadian Sisterhood . . . and Maxwell,

I have some questions for you. I've wanted to move to Canada for quite some time, and my longing has only grown stronger as the bupkiss in The White House does one stupid thing after another. He's so awful that he's not even a joke anymore.

So what do you think about me joining you in Canada? I know it's very different from Florida, but I've lived with ice and snow before. I just need to buy a coat and some mittens.

I do have concerns. First, I know that to get into Canada legally (and I would never ever do anything illegal) that I need to be able to get a job. I don't want to reveal where I work or exactly what I do, but I think I can tell you that the biggest part of my job is listening to people whine. You don't seem to be a nation of whiners, so do you think I have a chance of finding a job?

Second, where should I live? I've been to Montreal, Vancouver, and Victoria. They're very nice, but I have a bit of a hankering to live in Nova Scotia. Is that a mistake? What part of the country if the most affordable?

Finally--and this is a big, very important question--am I nice enough to live in Canada? I know that Franklin would be welcome because no one is nicer than Franklin. Penelope is a bit persnickety, but once you see how cute her underbite is I know you'll fall in love with her. It's me that I'm not sure about.

I floss and brush. I bathe and deodorize. I don't have weapons of mass destruction. In fact, I've never had a gun and I never will. I oppose the death penalty. I think Justin Trudeau is as cute and bright as a new (American) penny. I'll help you keep Justin Bieber from returning.

But is that enough?

How will I know if I'm nice enough? Can you tell me? I really, really need your help.

And for those of you in the U.S. who are tempted to leave comments that say America: love it or leave it, you can bite my pink butt. I do love my country, but I don't have to love what's happening to it.

Let me know, please, my Canadian sisters: Am I nice enough to be a Canadian?


Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug, who isn't really going anyplace

I think I should mention that Favorite Young Man will probably come along. He'll fix your cars. And we can learn to say "eh." I'll add the letter "u" to words. Whatever it takes, I'll do it.

PENELOPE SPEAKS: I AM KILLER QUEEN

Hello. It is I, Penelope.

Mom Mom has a new nickname for me. I am "Killer Queen."

I bet you can't guess why.

One evening Mom went to get the laundry from the dryer. She was gone for about five minutes. When she came back, this is what she saw on my chair:

I found one of the bugs that Mom Mom hates, and I tore it to pieces. The thing next to it is my chew toy.

Mom Mom wanted to photograph me next to my kill. I declined. I felt shy about sharing my power.

But I know Mom Mom is proud of me.

I am, indeed, Killer Queen.

That is all. Goodbye.





Maybe another name for me can be Penny Mercury.

THE TRUMPETER'S NEW CLOTHES IS AMAZEBALLS

Small balls, big balls.
Short balls, tall balls.
Some people have more balls than others.

But the biggest balls of all,
The balls that make me laugh until I fall
Are the balls behind the newest book on my wall:

Congratulations to author Robyn Alana Engel and illustrator Steve Ferchaud, who have a new book coming out on Monday (cover designed by Bryan Pedas of A Beer For The Shower fame). I had the privilege of a preview and thought it quite clever, which is no surprise since it comes from the insane brain behind Life by Chocolate.

Here's a little taste of what you'll get when this book belongs to you:

One of the King’s most favored

things of all

was to swing

long rods at tiny balls.

Clueless Clan fans cheered him on.

“You win, feared Man!

You do know wrong!”

The King replied,

“I no good, it’s true.

I wrote the

Star Scrambled Egg song too!”

The Trumpeter's New Clothes is a short book, about the length of a young child's book, but it's an adult read. The illustrations are excellent and made me laugh out loud. This is a book you'll want to take to parties to share with your friends.

The Trumpeter's New Clothes earns The Highest Balltastic Janie Junebug Seal of Approval.




Note: The book begins with a warning that it's not for those who lean orange,and watch out if you have a case of sandarakinophobia, too.

The book is now available on Amazon at https://goo.gl/M8jqda

THE GREAT AMERICAN READ

Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,
.
Recently I watched a show on PBS called The Great American Read. It's perfect for book lovers, and I suspect that includes most of us. You can watch the launch special HERE.

PBS used a national survey to present the 100 best-loved novels in the U.S. Now we can vote for our favorites HERE. You can vote once a day for each book and in a variety of ways, such as signing in with your email address, Facebook, or Twitter.

Although the list includes a couple of books that make me raise my eyebrows (Fifty Shades of Grey? Puh-lease!), I suspect I'll want to read some of the books on the list that I've missed.

Voting ends at midnight PT on October 18, 2018. The winner will be announced on PBS.

I suspect I'll cast most of my votes for my all-time favorite novel

 but I've also voted for 

After you've checked out the list, I hope you'll come back to tell us which books are your favorites. I also want to know how many of the 100 you've read.

I've read 43, but keep in mind that a series counts as one book so I've actually read more books than the 43 I can count. By the time we reach the finale of the series in October, I hope I'll be up to 50 books.

Some of the books on the list are pretty darn tempting.

Happy Reading!


Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

P.S. It's Memorial Day, and I'd like to know why people are setting off firecrackers as if this day is some kine of celebration.

THE BRIDE DID NOT WEAR COMBAT BOOTS

Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

I've long thought that it would be a good idea for Prince Harry to marry an American, but I had a certain American mathematician in mind. With her auburn hair, they might have produced a beautiful bunch of red-haired children.

Alas, the mathematician isn't interested in marriage. Harry found himself a TV star instead. Their wedding was lovely.

A plethora of celebrities attended. Here are Lady Grand Slams and Lord Reddit:

Amal Clooney looked beautiful as usual, although she was accompanied by some guy no one recognized:

I watched with my old buddy Starbucks, who kept complaining that black people were all over the place. A black preacher. Black guests. The black gospel choir.

Starbucks soon stomped off to call the police so they could "do something" about all those black people. I think my friendship with Starbucks is over. I loved the choir's rendition of Stand By Me.

The award for best hat of the day went to the Duchess of Cornwall because it hid her horsey face:

I wonder if the Prince of Wails still wants to be Camilla's tampon.

Ten children took part in the wedding! Ten! Can you imagine wrangling all those children? It might have been like herding cats, but they were on their best behavior.

Not a nose-picker, pants-wetter, or puker among them.

I felt sorry for Queen Elizabeth. Everywhere she goes, Tom Riddle (a.k.a.He Who Must Not Be Named) sneaks looks over her shoulder:

For me, however, the most striking aspect of the wedding was the difference between Prince Harry marrying the new Duchess of Sussex (Meghan) and Prince Charles's wedding to Diana, Princess of Wales.

Diana was a 20-year-old girl marrying a man she still called "sir" on the day he proposed. She ended up wanting to back out of the whole thing when she learned that Charles was still in love with Horsey Face.

Meghan, by contrast, is 36, has been married before, and has had a career. She married a man who seems to really and truly be in love with her. They embark on their life together with the goal of being a family and bringing joy to the downtrodden of the world: a goal that Harry learned from his mother.

You are remembered, Angel Princess.


Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug


Best Photo of the Day:

BOOK NOOK: THE VANISHING ACT OF ESME LENNOX

Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

When I was in school, probably about eighth grade, we read The Yellow Wallpaper by Charlotte Perkins Gilman. What a creepy story: a woman whose doctor and husband make her "rest" all the time until she goes mad.

I had no idea that this short story was an early work of feminist literature, and back in the Dark Ages of my youth, I don't think we even knew the word "feminism."

Women were (and some still think are) too emotional and not in control of themselves. The patriarchy sometimes demanded that they be locked up because they were diagnosed with hysteria.

I found a literary descendant to The Yellow Wallpaper's protagonist in The Vanishing Act of Esme Lennox by Maggie O'Farrell.

Iris, who "isn't used to dealing with things that are . . . untouched," receives a call about Euphemia Lennox––a name she doesn't recognize. She's shocked to learn that this woman is her grandmother's sister, who has been locked up in a mental institution for 60 years. Now that the hospital is closing, Iris is expected to take responsibility for Esme, as the stranger prefers to be called.

No one can tell Iris anything about Esme. Iris's grandmother has Alzheimer's, her mother never heard of Esme, and her father is dead. What's to be done with Esme, and why has she been in the hospital all these years?

O'Farrell moves deftly between Iris's present with Esme and Esme's memories of her youth as mysteries unfold. I enjoyed the style of this novel very much and found it difficult to put down; thus, The Vanishing Act of Esme Lennox earns The Janie Junebug Seal of Highest Approval.

Another book I hope to read soon is by our good friend Susan Flett Swidersky, who blogs at I Think; Therefore, I Yam. Her new book is

Congratulations, Susan!


Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug