FRANKLIN FRIDAY: I WINNED AN AWARD!

Hi, Every Buddy! It's me me me me me! Franklin the Bordernese! And I winned an award.

Oh. Mom says it's won. She wants every buddy, including dogs, to talk right and write right.

Whatever.

Anyway, this real nice lady named Carol Kilgore writes a blog called Under The Tiki Hut. You should pay her a visit.

She had an award to give away. It's called Sisterhood of the World Bloggers Award, and I didn't even have to do anything to get it. I winned, I mean won, just for being me.

I don't exactly understand because I don't have any sisters. Mom says the award is for her, too. I doubt it. Don't tell Mom I said so, but she's jealous of my pupularity.

Carol gave the award to some of the bloggers she's met during the past year, and that includes me me me me me, Franklin the Bordernese.

Mom says that once upon a time, The Hurricane and her dog Emma entered a Fun Dog Show. Hurricane and Emma won reserve champion. That means second place. Emma got a big trophy.

Here's a picture of Emma. She was a Labradoodle.

I don't have a trophy, but I don't care cuz I have a pretty award now on my blog.

I'm not gonna give the award away right now. I wanna look at it and maybe have Mom print it out and I'll chew on it a bit. Then maybe I'll share.

Anyhow, my tail is wagging so hard right now. That means I'm happy. Sometimes I'm so happy that I can't control my rear end. I think my tail has a mind of its own.

Thanks, Carol Kilgore! Thanks a whole big bunch!

I love you Every Buddy!

Franklin the Bordernese (hope you don't sneeze heheheheheheheh)

I am so funny.

MOVIE THURSDAY: GANGSTER SQUAD

Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

Today I present for your consideration Gangster Squad (2013, Rated R, Available on DVD).

It's 1949 in Los Angeles, and gangster Mickey Cohen (Sean Penn) is above the law. Police Chief Parker (Nick Nolte) puts Sgt. John O'Mara (Josh Brolin) in charge of a secret police squad designed to bring down Cohen. O'Mara, a veteran of World War II, is joined by four other cops, and also tries to enlist another officer and veteran, Sgt. Jerry Wooters (Ryan Gosling), to help with the cause. At first, Wooters declines. But when violence hits too close to home, Wooters decides to become a member of the squad.

For about the first 10 to 15 minutes of this movie, I wondered, What going on here? And I thought, Euuuwwww, yucky and weird. But then everything changed. The movie became interesting. I felt caught up in the plot, and most of the acting is great. I wasn't too impressed with Sean Penn. He was over the top ridiculous -- even cartoonish. But I love Josh Brolin, and O'Mara's relationship with his pregnant wife Connie (Mireille Enos) is lovely. Connie doesn't want her husband involved in anything dangerous now that he's home from the war and safe. But she gets on board and proves to be of invaluable assistance.

Then there's Ryan Gosling. Ryan Gosling is reason enough to watch this movie. If you're foolish enough not to think he's a great actor, then I'm sure you'll enjoy looking at him. He's Ryan Gosling.

Ryan Gosling: You're not Johnny Depp,
but I love you.

Although Gangster Squad is filmed in color, it's kind of film noir-ish. I like the style. Fast-acting tough cops versus a nasty gangster makes for lots of action and excitement. Unlike film noir of the '30s and '40s, however, you'll see more graphic violence and lots of blood. The characters are stereotypes, but they're interesting stereotypes. 

This movie is definitely not for children. You might watch with teens about age 15 and older. 

Gangster Squad earns The Janie Junebug Highest Seal of Approval.

Dee, I don't think you'd like this movie. Rita, I think you'd enjoy it.

Happy viewing to all of you!

Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

A blog can't have too many photos of Ryan Gosling.

THE GRAMMAR BITCH IS BACK

Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

As you may have noticed, grammar has become a recurring topic on my blog. Why? I am The Queen of Grammar. Additionally, I have a grammar badge, presented to me by the fabulous fishducky.

If you don't follow fishducky at fishducky, finally!, then may God help you because I can't.

As your Queen, I've welcomed your recent grammatical inquiries and pet peeves.

Today, I'll focus on two topics.

First, Little Lotta Joy at Witless Relocation Program asked the following question: Is it: "I wish I were" or "I wish I was"

Thank you for this excellent question, Dana Joy Wyzard, author of Treadwell, a great novel available from Amazon at http://www.amazon.com/Treadwell-Sheltered-Foothills-Southern-Reclusive/dp/1483603644.

The answer is "I wish I were". Think subjunctive, but if you can't remember to think subjunctive, then remember that if you're talking or writing about a situation that's contrary to fact, then it's were.

Second, Susan Flett Swiderski at I Think; Therefore, I Yam commented: The grammar bug-a-boo that sticks in my craw these days is the mismatch of noun and pronoun. For example: "It's necessary for one to always do it themselves." And I am seeing this being done in blog posts, emails, magazines, newspapers, and books. Being done by writers who should know better! Or is it just me? Has someone changed the rules while I was taking a nap?

Susan, "they" tried to change the rules while you were napping, but with everyone's help, we'll stop those darn would-be rule changers. Please, Gentle Readers, make your nouns and pronouns match. If you're talking or writing about one person, then the pronoun can't be they. However, if you want to avoid the somewhat messy he/she matter, then make your noun plural and you can use they as your pronoun. When in doubt, consult your Queen.

Thank you, Susan Flett Swiderski, author of the excellent novel Hot Flashes & Cold Lemonade, available from Amazon at http://www.amazon.com/Flashes-Lemonade-Susan-Flett-Swiderski/dp/148489071X.

I soon shall finish reading Hot Flashes & Cold Lemonade, available from Amazon at http://www.amazon.com/Flashes-Lemonade-Susan-Flett-Swiderski/dp/148489071X. When I'm done reading Hot Flashes & Cold Lemonade, available from Amazon at http://www.amazon.com/Flashes-Lemonade-Susan-Flett-Swiderski/dp/148489071X, it will be the subject of a rave review on this-a-here blog because I loves me some Hot Flashes & Cold Lemonade. Did I mention you can buy it on Amazon? Check out http://www.amazon.com/Flashes-Lemonade-Susan-Flett-Swiderski/dp/148489071X.

Now for a couple of quick reminders, just in case you missed these grammatical concerns:

Adorable Andi at delusions of ingenuity pointed out that the past tense of drag is dragged. Charming Susie at loonysuse asked if I prefer dived or dove. I told her that dove is the traditional answer, but dived has become acceptable, even to me. But Gentle Readers, whether you dived or dove yesterday, I hope the water was sufficiently deep.

Finally, I want to bring up a matter that does not concern grammar, but it does concern humanity. I hope you'll read Mayor Gia's post about the murder of Trayvon Martin at http://mayorgia.blogspot.com/2013/07/well-isnt-this-fucked-up-and-bullshit.html. Gia first published this post after Trayvon's death. She re-posted it after his murderer was found not guilty. It remains the best post I've read about Trayvon Martin.

As for the verdict, I didn't watch the trial. I strongly suspect that the prosecutors failed to prove guilt beyond a reasonable doubt. However, if Trayvon Martin had killed George Zimmerman, then I strongly suspect that the prosecutors would have found a way to prove Trayvon Martin guilty -- without a doubt.

Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

GRATITUDE TUESDAY: THE TIME MY DAD DROVE ME TO EMPORIA, KANSAS, SO I WOULDN'T MISS A FORENSICS TOURNAMENT

Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

When I was in high school in scenic Topeka, Kansas, I participated in debate and forensics, much to the dismay of my piano teacher, who wanted me to spend more time practicing.

This piano is the one my mom bought when I was about eight or nine.
Our house in Topeka was too small for our grand piano.
I'm very grateful that my mom gave me the piano when I got married.
She also gave me the little china piano on the piano, and she paid for
my piano lessons and the music I needed. The yellow book is Clementi.
I think the white music is Mozart.

During the autumn and early winter, we debated. During the late winter and spring, we forensicked. Okay. Yeah. I just made up a word, but I'm The Queen of Grammar, and I can make up words if I feel like it.

Debate entailed working with a partner, called one's colleague, to argue a topic chosen for that year. In one round we'd have to be in favor of the topic, such as prison reform, and in the next round we'd argue against whatever the other team proposed.

It was fun, and I still have a gavel that my colleague and I won for coming in second at a debate tournament during my junior year, and her senior year. We weren't supposed to take debate trophies home with us because two people shared the trophy. I stole the gavel when I graduated. So sue me.

I loved debate, but forensics was fun, too. I have a little box my mom decoupaged for me. It has a boatload of medals I won for forensics. Forensics offered a variety of speaking opportunities. Some people gave extemporaneous speeches on a topic. Some people performed a dramatic interpretation of a scene from a play or book. My greatest success came from reading poetry and giving an informative speech on what might happen to us when we die. I still remember quoting T. S. Eliot: I am Lazarus, come back from the dead, come back to tell you all. I shall tell you all.

Oh, I said that line so dramatically. During college when I studied Eliot, however, I learned that I didn't like his poetry. I'm an Emily Dickinson and Sylvia Plath person. I love women who have mental breakdowns. I don't know why. Maybe I relate to them.

But, ah. I digress.

Forensics tournaments took place on Saturdays and were usually held in a fascinating Kansas town such as Osage City. I had to get up early on Saturday and get to school, where our team gathered to take a bus to the tournament. Before I was old enough to drive, my dad took me to school on those early Saturday mornings, for which I'm extremely grateful. My parents never heard me debate or read poetry, but they supported my wish to participate.

But one Saturday when I was supposed to be at school around 6 a.m., I woke up and it was a little past 6. My dad had promised to set his alarm and awaken me. I don't know if he failed to set the alarm, or if he turned it off and went back to sleep. I flew into my parents' bedroom in a panic. I'M GOING TO MISS THE TOURNAMENT! IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD!

My dad told me to get dressed and he would take me to school just in case the bus was still there. THE BUS ISN'T THERE! I'M GOING TO MISS THE TOURNAMENT! IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD!

Talk about teen angst. But my dad was totally calm. I'll just take you to the tournament, he said. So he drove me to the high school in Emporia, Kansas. I think it took an hour or so to get there. I arrived not long after the team did and didn't miss a minute of the tournament. The coach had withdrawn me, but he was able to reinstate me. He said they had wanted to call me to find out where I was, but no one knew how to spell my last name. I looked at a girl on the team. I had known her since we were in third grade. You don't know how to spell my name? I asked.

I couldn't remember, she said sheepishly.

Yeah. Right.

Bitch.

Later I was talking to one of the older guys on the team OH MY GOD HE WAS SO HOT AND HE TOOK ME OUT SEVERAL TIMES AND HE WANTED TO HAVE SEX WITH ME AND I SAID NO BECAUSE I WAS TOO SCARED and he asked why I had missed the bus. I told him about my dad not waking me up so he drove me to Emporia. Wow! he said. My dad would have said tough shit, he said. My dad wouldn't drive me to Emporia, he said.

My dad never said tough shit. My dad always took me where I needed to go.

I am so grateful.

And now for today's little grammar tip. Adorable Andi, a.k.a. LittleMyoo, don't ask me why she calls herself that she can if she wants to at delusions of ingenuity and you really should follow her because she's hilarious and very nice asked if I would mention that the past tense of drag is dragged. I'm very happy Andi brought this to our attention because  the next time I hear someone say I drug my ass outa bed to get to the forensics tournament I am gonna scream she is correct. The past tense of drag is, indeed, dragged. Not drug, so don't frickin' say drug when you mean dragged.

I suppose some of you read the posts from The Queen of Grammar with glee, hoping to spot an error. I don't mind. We all make misteaks.

Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

I WANNA TEASE YOU

Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

It's been a while since I've tried to convince you people to help me make some money amazed and delighted you with a new product in Janie Junebug's Tease at www.cafepress.com/JanieJunebugsTease.

I now have a Zombies section, with a bumper sticker and t-shirts suggested by Middle Child. Click on http://www.cafepress.com/janiejunebugstease/10224709 to find the new section.

The bumper sticker says DRIVE AS IF ZOMBIES ARE CHASING YOU

The t-shirts, which are available in a variety of sizes and colors, say

Happy Zombie Shopping! Remember: If you want to express yourself on a t-shirt, bumper sticker, mug, or whatever, you just need to let me know what you want your product to say, and I have ways of making it happen. If you've written a book, you can send me the cover image in the size you want it to be on a shirt, and I can design a t-shirt with your book on it. Email me at dumpedfirstwife@gmail.com.

I still have my Religious Tease, Military Tease, and Editor's Tips Tease. 

Now let's pause for a moment of silence as we ponder the glory of grammar. Last week I reminded you that "a while" is a noun, and "awhile" is an adverb. A certain gentleman who writes a great blog called The Chubby Chatterbox has asked me to discuss farther and further. Use "farther" for physical distance, and use "further" for figurative distance. Further can also be a modifier, as in "Further, The Chubby Chatterbox tells great stories about his childhood friend, Ricky Delgado."

Let me know if you have grammatical questions or would like me to issue a reminder about a certain grammatical area that drives you crazy. I am The Queen of Grammar. I live to serve my subjects.


Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

FRANKLIN FRIDAY: NO DOGGIES ON THE FURNITURE?

Hi, Every Buddy! It's me me me me me! I'm Franklin the Bordernese.

I'm sorry I haven't written to you for a while. Mom was hogging laptop. She claimed she had work to do, but how can it be work when she sits in a recliner looking at laptop all day?

Now that I have my turn again, I want to tell you another story about Faulkner, The Original Dog.

Can you believe there was a time when Mom thought that doggies shouldn't sit or take naps on the furniture? She actually thought doggies should spend their time on the floor. I guess she was kind of crazy then.

When The Original Dog came to live with Mom, she said, No furniture. But then she noticed when she came home and Faulkner greeted her, he was leaving the love seat in the family room. Before long, he headed for the love seat before she could even get out the door. He'd hop up to take a little nap while she was gone.

She knew the love seat was real comfortable, so she decided that doggies really do belong on the furniture.

Faulkner on the couch in Illinois.

Scout sitting on a chair.

Me relaxing in the recliner.

Harper on a bed.

Boy, I'm sure glad Mom figured out where doggies belong. I like to sit right next to her while she taps away on laptop.

Thanks for visiting me, Every Buddy! I missed you! I love you!

Franklin the Bordernese

GRATITUDE TUESDAY: MOMPRENEUR BLOGGER

Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

It's so nice to be back among the living. Barring some unforeseen grammatical question, I believe I'm done editing for now. I'm always grateful when I edit. You know I love correcting grammar. It makes me feel so good. However, I also enjoy trying to find ways to help an author write a better book. If I can make your reading experience more enjoyable, then that means a lot to me.

But today, my big-time gratitude is reserved for Middle Child. She's among the Top Ten Most Influential Mompreneur Bloggers. Take a look at #5 on this list:

http://voiceboks.com/10-most-influential-mompreneur-blogs-of-2013/

Yup, that there be Middle Child.

I'm grateful she's on the list, and I'm really grateful that so many of you took the time to vote for my little middle. Of course, it was actually Franklin who asked you to vote for her in his first FRANKLIN FRIDAY post. Who can say no to Franklin?

Well, I guess I've said it once or twice. But he's pretty hard to resist.

Way to go, Middle Child! I'm grateful for YOU.

Me finding out that Middle Child
is a superstar

It's so cool that my children are smarter and more talented and better
looking than I am.

To read Middle Child's incredibly influential blog, go to The Crazy Life of a Writing Mom. To see the site for the business she started and to check out great books she's written as EC Stilson, click on Wayman Publishing.

It's going to take me a while to catch up on your blogs. (Did you know that a while is a noun and awhile is an adverb? Don't use them interchangeably.) Right now, however, I need to empty Mrs. Roomba's dust bin, clean the bathroom, and scoop poop in the backyard.

The life of an editor is so glamorous.

Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug