Hello. It is I, Penelope.
Come over here where Mom Mom cannot see us. We must whisper. I will pretend to relax and enjoy my toys.
Someone is still staying with us. I expect her departure to be imminent. She is some sort of royalty; therefore, she will have to leave soon to attend the coronation of dopey-looking King Charles, where she will have to eat his quiche that has beans and lard.
This picture makes it look all nice and tasty, but real dogs do not eat quiche.
If she doesn't leave, then I'll be forced to reveal some information about her. I'll tell Mom Mom that royalty is a kleptomaniac. Mom Mom knows that royalty stole her towel while she was in the shower and Mom Mom said oh hahahaha that is so cute and funny hahahaha. What Mom Mom doesn't know is that royalty stole a Tupperware bowl from the kitchen counter. It has doggy treats in it. When royalty didn't know how to take off the lid, she dropped it and it rolled under the edge of the bed. Mom Mom didn't notice, but I'll make sure she sees it.
The very worst thing of all is royalty stole Gordon, my adorable sloth toy. I knew royalty had him because she held him too tight in her mouth and he made a sad, horrible squeaking noise that sounded like waaaaaaah waaaaaaaah. Royalty even took him outside. I had to rescue him. Thinking about the sound of Gordon crying as she carried him to the dirty yard brings tears to my eyes and I am the saddest I have ever been during my sad life as a miserable abused little bulldog and now I have to cry like Gordon. WAAAAAAAAAAH WAAAAAAAAH sniffle sniffle just a minute I need to blow my nose WAAAAAAH WAAAAAAAAAAAH I CANNOT STOP CRYING. THE WORLD IS SO CRUEL WITH ROYALTY IN IT. SHE HAS TO LEAVE BEFORE SHE RUINS MY LIFE.
You just watch. One way or another, she will be out of here before the coronation. Do not tell Mom Mom about our discussion.
Now I will take a little nap. Crying makes me so tired. That is all. Goodbye.
Oh no! Where did this royalty come from? Royalty is never a good thing. You must become an anarchist, Penelope, and rise up against such tyranny.ReplyDelete
Mom Mom and Grandma went away in the car and came back with royalty and they pranced right in the door with her.Delete
The princess and Penelope. Poor Penelope. (My lips are sealed.)ReplyDelete
Mr. Mitchell, you are such a good friend to a poor little abused bulldog.Delete
Poor, poor Penelope. Your faithful readers are on your side.ReplyDelete
Thank you, child of an elephant.Delete
That's a pretty entertaining post but I couldn't get over the cuteness from that first photo. I do believe Buster would have a crush.ReplyDelete
A crush? On me? It's true I am adorable.Delete
Royalty sounds like quite an intrusion in your life. I can see why you want her gone. Your dear sloth in the mud--oh my! I would cry, too. :(ReplyDelete
I am still crying. Waaaaaah Waaaaah I am on another crying jag.Delete
Oh, sweet Penelope! I'm sorry life is so ruff for you right now.ReplyDelete
It's always something tearing my life apart.Delete
Penelope I have missed you (now I will whisper we three love you !)ReplyDelete
Goodbye for now woof !
At least someone cares about me.Delete
Poor Penelope. I hope she recovers from all the trauma after royalty leaves.ReplyDelete
It's Monday and the coronation is on Saturday. I'm sure royalty will leave by Wednesday. Maybe I can help her pack her bags.Delete
I will not speak a word of this, Penelope. Would you like me to send over my female cats so that they can rough up this royalty? That might speed up her departure.ReplyDelete
Yes, please. Send those cats right away so they can rip the hell out of royalty. I will laugh and laugh when she runs away crying.Delete
Royalty aside, every real dog I've known would gobble quiche faster than I could bark. Maybe Penelope is not a real dog?ReplyDelete
Oh bless you, Penelope! I tell you that king has a lot to answer for. Has royalty left yet? I would be glad if our king left too.ReplyDelete
Poor Penelope. She needs a doggie advocate.ReplyDelete
Looking for good news from you, PenelopeReplyDelete
Awww. Poor Penelope. I hope things get back in order when Royalty leaves!ReplyDelete