Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,
"To sleep, perchance to dream" is from Hamlet and actually refers to death and the hope for a dreamlike state without problems. I don't want to die. I want to sleep at night and stay awake during the day, but I thought the quotation worked. Does it? I can't think clearly.
My sleep problems keep getting worse. I couldn't sleep Saturday night. I made myself stay awake on Sunday. I was so sleepy.
So I went to bed about ten o'clock Sunday night, put on my C-PAP, and I lay there hour after hour, wide awake. I took off the C-Pap. Couldn't sleep. I finally decided to get up and read at about 4:30 a.m. Around 10:30 I fell asleep and didn't wake up until about 6 p.m.
So of course, I couldn't sleep last night (Monday). Here I am on Tuesday morning. What do I do?
This sleep thing is causing a serious problem with my work. I've tried all sorts of things that I've read online. Don't sleep during the day. No caffeine after 6 p.m. Get some exercise. Practice good "sleep hygiene," which means having clean sheets and a comfortable bed and pillows, no internet or looking at your phone, use your bed for sleeping--not for reading or watching TV. You name it and I've probably tried it.
Yes, I have a lot of worries, but I don't think they're keeping me awake. I don't know what's keeping me awake. My doctor knows I have this problem. The last time I saw her she became irritated with me, to put it nicely. She thinks I'm not doing what I should. Now I don't feel like going to see her.
I do have odd work hours. That gets in the way of regular sleep, but even if I'm off work for a while, I can't sleep at night.
After not sleeping for 24 hours or so, I feel pretty uncomfortable about going to work because I have to get home at midnight. What if I can't concentrate at work and screw up something important? What if I fall asleep while I'm driving? How do I stay alert enough to get through work and get home?
I'm a mess.
You probably have suggestions for me. I welcome your ideas, but please forgive me if I'm grouchy. I'm tired.
Infinities of love,
Update: I appreciate your sympathy and suggestions. You came up with some things that hadn't occurred to me or that I didn't read in all the articles about how to fall asleep. I'm ready to turn off the computer for the night, drink my milk, and read for a while or watch something relaxing on TV. I'm experiencing something right now, however, that really has me thinking. As soon as I looked at the time and thought about bedtime approaching, I felt the anxiety grab me--that clenching in my stomach and the thought that I'll get no sleep. I believe now that my anxiety plays a much bigger role in this problem than I thought it did when I wrote the post this morning.