Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,
When I wrote the title for this post, I thought ha ha ha! I've invented a new word: apologizer. Then I checked to be sure that the word originated with your Queen of Grammar, and learned that apologizer is already a word. Or else someone got it in the dictionary awfully fast after I typed it.
It means, of course, someone who apologizes.
Here, someone named Amber Ray acts as an apologizer, but I don't know why she uses a photo of Willy Dunne Wooters when her apology is to Ryan Gosling:
Last week I was critical of a blogger because I thought she was doing something wrong. I was the one who was wrong, and I apologized. I know quite a few of you read my apology because you commented on it. Therefore, my question is as follows:
Do you think I can get a job as a professional apologizer?
When you wait 45 minutes in a restaurant and get a sandwich with mustard when you specifically said no mustard, or you get a bill that's $300 more than you're supposed to pay, or you work for Hobby Lobby and the Supreme Court says that Hobby Lobby doesn't have to give you health insurance that covers your birth control, then do you think you'd feel at least a tiny bit better if you received a sincere and loving letter of apology from the person who made your sandwich or the person who coded the bill or certain justices on the Supreme Court (not Ruth Bader Ginsberg because she wrote a very strong dissent, but Clarence Thomas, you owe the world a lot of apologies, buddy)?
I'm just kinda thinking that all those people who make mistakes might not have the time or the grammar skills to write letters of apology, so maybe I can become a professional apologizer and write those letters. I wanna earn an honest living.
I have to admit, though, that apologizing for Clarence Thomas is probably beyond my capabilities.
In case I have you wondering about apologizer v. apologist, an apologist is someone who writes or states a defense of a case or belief. I learned that when I took The History of The British Novel (thank you, Dr. Winter), but I don't remember why.
If you need an apologizer, please keep me in mind (not you, Clarence, and not Arnold Schwarzenegger). Hey, spell check recognizes Schwarzenegger. That's interesting. I didn't think it would.
The world is an amazing place. Right, Willy Dunne Wooters?
Infinities of love,
P.S. Thanks to all of you who read my apology and were so kind to me. The person I criticized very graciously accepted my apology.