I have two questions. I'll ask one today and one tomorrow.
The first is about the mentalpause (term stolen from my FORMER friend dirtycowgirl at Left Alone With A Full Moon. I love dirtycowgirl but she's irritating the hell out of me because she hardly ever blogs anymore. She's too busy selling stuff on ebay. She has abandoned me, and I don't feel one bit guilty about stealing "mentalpause" from her.)
So here's the story, morning glory. Gentlemen, you might not want to read this.
I'm having trouble remembering how many years ago it was, but I think it was about eight. I went through menopause, though I didn't figure out what was wrong till it was over. I had hot flashes followed by chills, breast tenderness, night sweats, and I was so emotional that I managed to get fired from my crappy shitty job for laughing at a doctor. I worked in his office and he didn't like it when I laughed at him but he really was a moron.
Eventually, the mentalpause subsided, and I thought it was alllllll gone.
But now it seems to have returned.
Hot flashes, night sweats, chills, breast tenderness. Can't think clearly. Did I mention I'm forgetful? I'm not particularly grouchy, though I don't know how anyone could tell because I'm always at least a little grouchy, but I am down in the dumps. Everything makes me cry. If the dogs look at me because they want their supper, I cry. The price of toilet paper went up by two cents? I cry. I miss the things I left in Illinois, and what do I do? Cry and complain. And then I cry some more. And then I forget why I'm crying. The words that usually pour out of me onto the computer have dried up. I'm also forgetful.
I had a hystericalectomy more than 20 years ago, so I can't judge what my body is doing to me based on periods. Or maybe it's all in my head.
But what's not in my head is that my neighbors' gate squeaks. It's right outside my bedroom window and even with the window closed I can hear as they go in and out of that squeaky gate at all hours. Sometimes 3:45 a.m., which happened last night; therefore, I have been up since 4 a.m. Lotta Joy, please come to visit and bring your gun, or at least some WD-40. I can't even sneak out there to WD-40 the gate without backup (lotta joy with her gun) because those people never seem to go to bed. In and out. In and out. Squeak. Squeeeeeeeeeeek!
I wanna get out of town. Big time. I need a break I can't afford. I want to see something other than palm trees, Spanish moss, ant hills, and palmetto bugs. I want health insurance, and I want it now. I want a job, and I want it now. For Christ's sake, I've been job hunting for three years. Isn't that long enough?
So, anyway, my question is the following: Have any of you experienced this problem? Does the mentalpause come and go and then return? Has it been lying dormant in my system all this time, just waiting to attack Elvis Aaron Schwarz? He doesn't really understand what's going on -- not that I do.
|Hi! Remember me?|
I'm Elvis Aaron Schwarz.
I don't understand my baby doll right now.
She's turned into a big fussy baby doll.
Even if you have to lie to me, please tell me that this
Bollocks. That's all I have to say right now. Bollocks. And ass hat. I feel like saying ass hat. Romney. Piss off. And maybe I also feel like dropping the F-bomb the way I did when I got kicked out of Bible study. I still don't know why those women were so upset. You would think they never dropped the F-bomb and I'll betcha they have cuz they went through the mentalpause.
Infinities of love,
P.S. Please don't advise me to see a doctor. I don't have insurance and I'm not going to the doctor unless it's a HUGE emergency. However, I will get a flu shot, but not the extra nasty flu shot that's for old folks because I'm still young at heart and in years. I'm just old in mentalpause.