PENELOPE SPEAKS: SOMETHING IS WRONG

 Hello. It is I, Penelope.

Come over here where Mom Mom cannot see us. We must whisper. I will pretend to relax and enjoy my toys.

Someone is still staying with us. I expect her departure to be imminent. She is some sort of royalty; therefore, she will have to leave soon to attend the coronation of dopey-looking King Charles, where she will have to eat his quiche that has beans and lard.

This picture makes it look all nice and tasty, but real dogs do not eat quiche.

If she doesn't leave, then I'll be forced to reveal some information about her. I'll tell Mom Mom that royalty is a kleptomaniac. Mom Mom knows that royalty stole her towel while she was in the shower and Mom Mom said oh hahahaha that is so cute and funny hahahaha. What Mom Mom doesn't know is that royalty stole a Tupperware bowl from the kitchen counter. It has doggy treats in it. When royalty didn't know how to take off the lid, she dropped it and it rolled under the edge of the bed. Mom Mom didn't notice, but I'll make sure she sees it. 

The very worst thing of all is royalty stole Gordon, my adorable sloth toy. I knew royalty had him because she held him too tight in her mouth and he made a sad, horrible squeaking noise that sounded like waaaaaaah  waaaaaaaah. Royalty even took him outside. I had to rescue him. Thinking about the sound of Gordon crying as she carried him to the dirty yard brings tears to my eyes and I am the saddest I have ever been during my sad life as a miserable abused little bulldog and now I have to cry like Gordon. WAAAAAAAAAAH      WAAAAAAAAH   sniffle sniffle just a minute I need to blow my nose   WAAAAAAH  WAAAAAAAAAAAH  I CANNOT STOP CRYING. THE WORLD IS SO CRUEL WITH ROYALTY IN IT. SHE HAS TO LEAVE BEFORE SHE RUINS MY LIFE.

You just watch. One way or another, she will be out of here before the coronation. Do not tell Mom Mom about our discussion. 

Now I will take a little nap. Crying makes me so tired. That is all. Goodbye.

PENELOPE SPEAKS: I HAVE A NEW TOY

Hello. It is I, Penelope. 

My new toy came in Franklin's Bark Box. I don't know why since it obviously belongs to me because I say it does and I want it.

He is a sloth and his name is Gordon.

Sloths are lazy and slow. That is why I think Gordon's name should be changed to Mom Mom.  HAHAHAHAHAHAH    hahahahahahah   harrrrhahaha heeheehahhahahahahaharhee I can't stop laughing. I am so hilarious. hahahaha   ha ha ha

ha. 

Because of my position as Chief Dog In Charge of Little House On The Swamp, it is my doodie (HAHAHAHAHAH I just can't stop myself hahahahahaha ha ha hahaha) to inform you that someone is staying with us. I do not know her name. I do not know why she is here. I do not know how long she will be here. I have sniffed her. She seems acceptable, although she refuses to play with me. Now I have apprised you of this change and shall continue to do so as knowledge is revealed to me because it is my 

DOODIE!!!!

That is all. Goodbye.

THE LOVELY LADIES OF THE GOP

 I wish I could claim credit for this creativity. I found it on Facebook. I'm splitting these photos into two posts because I'm having difficulty getting all the photos in one post.

Anita Filibust-Her

Hawl About Me

Rhonda Shanty

Speaker Sparklebottom

Cloretta Corrupta

Mother Pence

Cruzella Deville

MORE LOVELY LADIES OF THE GOP

Lady Graham Cracker

Rudy Garland

 

Bombshell Bannon

A GUY NAMED DAVID

Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

As many of you already know, a principal here in the great mediocre Fascist state of Florida lost his job recently because of a complaint by a parent after students were allowed to see images of this famous statue, which students have seen for years.

Perhaps one of these images would have been acceptable in its place.

Thanks a whole helluva lot, Ronald, for creating this miserable environment in Florida's schools.

Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

OUR VERSION OF TRUMP

I've made a few changes to this post. I didn't feel my best when I wrote it and it wasn't as clear as it should have been. I hope it's better now. Thanks for reading.

Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

I define our as the democratic party.  If you ain't with us, you're agin us.

Robert Kennedy Jr. announced on not-so-good Friday that he's running for president as a Democrat. He's a nincompoop. 

I became aware of his nincompoopery quite a few years ago when I read an article he wrote defending his cousin, Michael Skakel, who was convicted of murdering Martha Moxley when they were teenagers. I was shocked The Atlantic would publish an article that was absolute glop and assumed they used it because of the Kennedy name.

Kennedy is 69 years old, has plenty of money, and is on his third wife.(four days after he filed for divorce from his second wife she committed suicide). He has six children. 

He is well known as an environmental lawyer and won many awards for his work in that area. He fought pollution created by factory farms and damage to the environment caused by the U.S. military. He has worked with indigenous rights organizations. The list goes on and on. I wish I could stop right here and say that he's well educated and his work defending the environment is so great that it excuses any stupidity he committed.  I'm afraid that's not the case.

Kennedy was also well known for his drug use in his youth. When he was an assistant District Attorney in Manhattan, he was arrested for possession of  heroin. A number of Robert and Ethel Kennedy's children had drug problems. After all, they experienced the trauma of their father's death. His brother, David, died from an overdose. I think the drug use can be forgive and forgotten if he's stayed clean. As far as I know, he has.

Sadly, however, Jr. has achieved renown as an anti-vaxxer, beginning with blaming childhood vaccines for autism, ADHD, and other maladies. He spread misinformation about the COVID vaccine and compared COVID restrictions to Nazi Germany. He claimed that if people didn't get vaccinated, then Bill Gates would cut off their access to money and they would starve. I haven't seen that happen.

At one point Kennedy had a discussion with Trump about a position in his administration. I don't know what became of that.

I also don't know if the Kennedy name has the cachet it used to have. We're still sad that this man's Uncle John and his father, Robert, were assassinated, but we also know about Uncle John's many affairs and his naked pool parties at The White House that included smoking weed. Younger people might not be as interested in the Kennedy family as we were. I don't think being a Kennedy can do as much for Robert Jr. as it might have in the past.

It's possible he'll appeal to some Republicans though, who could consider crossing partly lines for an anti-vaxxer. Some of his siblings have publicly distanced themselves from him because of his anti-vax statements.

I know that if I need to choose between Robert Kennedy Jr. and Joe Biden, it's Joe Biden for me. He's not perfect, but my life is so much better than it was during the last guy's presidency. 

If you ain't with us, you're agin us. Robert Kennedy Jr. is agin us.

Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

HE'S SO GRUMPY

 

EXCUSE ME . . . PERHAPS YOU COULD STOP SHOUTING FOR A MOMENT

 Excuse me! So sorry to bother you. Do you think you could be a little quieter?

If I can speak to you for a minute or two, perhaps I can help you feel better.

I know you've been angry for a long time. 

And now you're hearing about indictments on the news. How awful. But that's not what happened to your Messiah. You poor things. But you're upset over nothing. Tempest in a teapot, darlings.

Sweeties, he wasn't indicted. He was INDICATED. He said so himself.

I know some of you can't read. That's okay. Let me go over this information with you.

verb (used with object), in·di·cat·ed, in·di·cat·ing.

to be a sign ofHis hesitation really indicates his doubt about the venture.

to point out or point to; direct attention to:to indicate a place on a map.

to show, as by measuring or recording; make known:The thermometer indicates air temperature.

to state or express, especially briefly or in a general way; signal:He indicated his disapproval but did not go into detail.

Medicine/Medical.

1. (of symptoms) to point out (a particular remedy, treatment, etc.) as suitable or necessary.

1. to show the presence of (a condition, infection, etc.)

See? It's not bad at all. Now why don't you all just scurry over there like the cute American cockroaches you are and you can go back to the chanting you enjoyed so much before.

I'll see you all again soon––when Hillary Clinton is indicted.