Tuesday, October 30, 2012

PUT ON YOUR GIRDLE. WE'RE GOING TO THE ER.

Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

My mother wouldn't go to the grocery store without changing her clothes so she was more dressed up -- and I'm talking about right up to the day she went in the hospital to die.

When I was little, I remember her attending events such as a Military Wives Tea wearing a hat and gloves. I still have the hat and gloves I wore to my oldest sister's wedding. We were always dressed to kill because Mother would have murdered us had we not dressed properly.

What was not so lovely and pleasant, though, was that we had to get dressed up to see the doctor, no matter how sick we were.

One of my sisters once had a terrible case of stomach flu or food poisoning or something. She spent a hideous night alternating between diarrhea and vomiting.

When morning finally came and she felt a bit better, my mom insisted that our dad take Sister to the Emergency Room. Of course, the time to go would have been when she was really, really out of control and passing out sick.

But, no. Mother waited till morning. When she was better.

To add an icing of misery to her misery cake, Sister had to dress up to go to the ER. She was forced to don her best dress, stockings, and a girdle. She probably weighed about 80 pounds, but in our house, once you reached a certain age you wore a girdle.




I remember my sister crying, I just wanna go to bed. I'm sooooo tired.

But she got dressed as ordered (or she would have been beaten, which, of course, cures any illness), and our father carted her off to the emergency room, where a doctor said, Well, I guess she's fine now.

Some things about the olden golden days were great. But others, such as putting on a dress and girdle to go to the emergency room . . . bleah.

Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug
















21 comments:

  1. You mother sounds a bit severe in this regard. Your poor sister!

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  2. OMG. What torture! I will not make my kids do that!

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    1. I hope you don't do it to yourself either. No girdle will ever enter my house.

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  3. I remember my mother wearing a girdle, usually just on Sunday for church. She struggled into it and then she was so grateful to come home and take it off.

    hope today is a good day

    betty

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    1. My mom wore a girdle every single day. It must have been so uncomfortable. No wonder she was grouchy.

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  4. People cared about how they looked back then. These days I see mothers dropping their kids off at school still dressed in their pyjamas. It is disrespectful to their kids, the school and themselves. I don't even go into the garden in my sweatpants.

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    1. But would you wear a girdle to the emergency room when you're sick?

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  5. I like to look nice but when I'm not feeling well, I find it appropriate to look like the dead to emphasise how poor I feel.

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    1. People often mention how corpse-like I appear.

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  6. OMG that is terrible. Girdle? That sounds horrible. But I remember my mother wearing them long time ago.
    www.thoughtsofpaps.com

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    1. My mom had a friend who even wore a girdle under her swimsuit -- a one-piece suit, of course. The thought of a girdle with a bikini is making me laugh.

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  7. I'm glad my parents had different standards--& I've always thought that the time to see a doctor was when you were sick, not when you're feeling better!! Did she do the same thing when someone broke a bone?

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    1. None of us broke bones. She broke them for us (just kidding, kind of).

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  8. When I married my first wife (back in the mid 60's) girdles were still in style. I remember going to the department store with her one night to buy a new girdle. She came out mad as hell because all the boxes in her size had dirty girdles in them. Women were coming in and trying on new ones and sticking their old ones back in the box. She said this happened all the time, but she could usually find one in her size. Just not that night.

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  9. I broke my ankle on Mother's day. My father brought me to the ER and I had to answer over and over what happened to be sure my mother wasn't just pissed at me for forgetting mother's day and broke it for me.

    Pretty sure though that I was wearing sweatpants.

    I am so glad I live in an age when women can wear angry birds pajama pants to walmart and still be socially accepted. (NOTE: I don't wear them, I just said that "women" in general can wear them. I would never. :)

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  10. I think every woman should wear a girdle everyday

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  12. My wife was cleaning out her dresser when she pulled out the most formidable girdle I've ever seen. When i commented that she'd never be able to get it on, she proved me wrong and promptly stretched it over her protruding abdomen! She commented that it wouldn't be staying on to long, but also that it's the one she should be wearing. As she stood before me, I rubbed my hand over the satin panel, marveling at its smoothness. Then came my big request! "Would you keep it on for a little while?" She reluctantly agreed, and after getting dressed, out to lunch we went, girdle and all! She ate like a bird and after four hours, she began squirming and rubbing her belly, but still resisted my suggestion that she take the girdle off! Ego ,I guess. After eight hours, she was literally climbing the walls, but still refused any relief. Bedtime came and upstairs we went. She stripped down to the offending girdle and, complying with my request, allowed me to take it off! I almost cried at the sight of her sweaty, wrinkled belly, almost corpse like in it's nature, while she moaned and scratched it with abandon, tears streaking down her face! "Never again, she shrieked, as she threw the offending garment across the floor.That night we made love like never before, after which I gave her the champion of all belly rubs. The next day as I was taking my last sip of coffee before heading to work she strolled by in her nightgown.She kissed me and parting it with her fingers, she exposed that same girdle from yesterday, tightly spanning her belly! Before I could offer any inquiry, she remarked "remember when I said that I should be wearing it?" "Well, I am! I guess I'll be performing quite a few belly rubs from now on!

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