Hi, Every Buddy! It's me, Franklin the Bordernese, and I'm sure to please. I've had a problem come up with Mom. I need you all to help me out.
The first thing that happened is really cool. Willy Dunne Wooters taught me how to drive his red 'stang. I dunno what 'stang means, but I learned how to drive his car.
Don't tell, but sometimes when I see a cat in the street I go a little faster. I would never hurt a cat, but sometimes I thinks about it.
Here's a picture where you can see me better in the car:
I'm pretty dang good lookin', isn't I?
But now I have to tell you about the problem. I was sitting in the car, figuring out all the knobs and dials, and I looked up and Mom had come outside. I thought she was there to admire my driving skills. I smiled at her, but she didn't come over to the car to hug and kiss me.
She walked right up to Willy Dunne Wooters and put her arms around him and started kissin' on him. She kissed his cheek and his neck and she even kissed his mouth, which was enough to make me think I might throw up my kibble.
AND Willy Dunne Wooters seemed to like it that Mom was kissin' on him. He didn't look like he was gonna throw up his kibble.
I think I have a romance on my paws.
Here's the big question: Should I have Mom fixed, or should I have Willy Dunne Wooters fixed, or should I have both of them fixed? I understand you might not wanna think about this very personal and intimate stuff, but I needs your help.
Okay I love you bye bye.
Franklin the Bordernese
Don't fix anything that's not broken!!
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure what that means, Mrs. Ducky.
DeleteHi Franklin. You make me smile. You're so sweet to be concerned, but I think you might be worrying a bit much. I would like to think that if this lovely couple (Mom and WDW) procreate, there'd be more hugs and kisses for you. This would be a win-win situation.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, you look great in that 'stang; red is definitely your color!
I don't know what procreate means, but yeah, I'm good in red. I have a red lead, too.
DeleteHaha! Sorry Franklin, fixing them won't help :). Hang in there buddy. Nice driving skills.
ReplyDeleteThanks! Thanks! Mom says you are nice.
DeleteROFL! Don't get them fixed--just look the other way as you drive off. A little alone time for the humans and you could cruise on back home. ;)
ReplyDeleteOkay, Mrs. Rita.
Delete"I have a romance on my paws"? Eeeewwww. I'm assuming that's a euphemism for the leftovers, the spillage after you and WDW got naughty in the car. I cannot think of one other meaning.
ReplyDeleteMy answer to Franklin in that case is, yes, get them both fixed.
Spillage? You mean like when Willy Dunne Wooters knocks over his coffee?
DeleteHi, Franklin!
ReplyDeleteIt's great to see you again. I'm with you, good buddy. Just the thought of Mom and WDW smooching makes me throw up in my mouth a little. Think of all the germs they swapped. Disgusting! You should have popped the clutch, left them standing there in a cloud of dust and gone cruisin' up and down the streets of Jacksonville. A handsome boy like you at the wheel of a red 'stang is a guaranteed babe magnet (or dude magnet, if that's your style - not that there's anything wrong with that).
The answer to your question seems obvious. As our good friend Bob Barker always reminded us: "Have your human spayed or neutered."
Have a safe and happy weekend, good buddy Franklin!
Thanks, Mr. Knight!
DeleteFix both of them as that will solve your problem.
ReplyDeleteOkay, Mrs. Peaches.
DeleteDear Franklin,
ReplyDeleteEven in your dreams, have you ever made a hoomin bean do what you want?
You're quite the handsome man, by the way.
Take care.
Joanne
Gosh, I make hoomin beans do what I want all the time. I just stare at Willy Dunne Wooters and he says I'm starving to death and have to be fed. If Mom says it's not time to feed me, Willy Dunne Wooters sneaks me something under the table.
DeleteWell, now....that's a big decision for you, Franklin. Maybe if you have Mom fixed, the WDW can still have his fun spreading his DNA! The last thing Mom needs is more kids, right?
ReplyDeleteMom doesn't want kids, but she wants grandkids. She's going to be grandma to a cat purrrrrty soon.
Delete"Grandma to a cat?" Why, Franklin, do tell. (smile)
DeleteI think they are both too old to be fixed. And you will recognize what all that kissing is about when you see them “doing it” doggie style. But don’t try to join in…
ReplyDeleteI can't join in because I don't know what that means, Mr. Pot.
DeleteJust turn the hose on 'em, Franklin. That'll take care of it.
ReplyDeleteI know where the hose is. Good plan. Thanks!
DeleteFranklin, i don't know what YOUR status is when it comes to being fixed or neutered, but if you've gotten by this far with everything intact, I'd leave well enough alone.
ReplyDeleteI'm not intacted. I'm fixed. That's how I know what it is. I'm missing something I used to have.
DeleteI think you look great in the driver's seat, Franklin.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Mrs. Susie. I admire photos of you. Maybe I can drive to your house and pick you up and we can go out on a little date.
DeleteFranklin, I think I have a job for you. I would love to have someone handsome, like yourself, to drive me around town. Fetch me, so to speak. I'm tired of driving myself and I'm afraid of Gonzo driving me. What's a girl to do?
ReplyDeleteHugs and dog treats,
Cherdo
If you move to our neighborhood I'll drive you around all you want.
DeleteWell that's interesting Franklin, because for some reason, us humans can have babies whenever we want. But we decide your breeding patterns for you and most of the time it's not the answer you want to hear. Sorry about that.
ReplyDeleteMom says there aren't enough homes for all the kitties and puppies and children in the world, so we have to help make it better.
DeleteYes you are so good looking, just saying
ReplyDeleteGosh, thanks, Mrs. Jo-Anne
DeleteOh I think some fixing is in order just like Bob Barker says. Now as for your driving....
ReplyDeleteI'm a good driver. Mom isn't sure I can get another license. I already have one because I got my rabies shot.
DeleteSo, Franklin, you think you're in a fix, huh? Think things might get "ruff" if your people don't cease and desist? Wanta stop 'em? Naaaah! Bad idea! If they're happy, you'll be happy. Let 'em have their fun, and they'll still have plenty of lovin' left over for their handsome dog. (That's you!)
ReplyDeleteThanks, Mrs. Susan. Every buddy says I'm handsome.
DeleteFranklin you make that car look good. Also there is an old saying, "Don't fix what isn't broken." I think this applies here. There is always love for our furry friends.
ReplyDeleteYour mom is a great lady and deserves to be happy.
Thank you, Mr. Brandon. I love my mom, and I love Willy Dunne Wooters, and I love every buddy who loves my mom.
DeleteSweetie, just toss 'em both in the backseat and drop 'em off at the nearest Motel 6.
ReplyDeleteI dunno what Motel 6 means.
DeleteWhen a fan in the bathroom is connected to the lighting in the bathroom. Someone takes a dump and should "leave the light on for you" to get the horrid smell out. CLICK! if you don't believe me.
DeleteOr maybe she means that major chain of budget motels with more than 1,100 locations in the United States and Canada.... Maybe
They're just gonna keep doing it, so you should probably put them down. Or, if that's too much, have you considered a cone? That might help.
ReplyDelete(That's a nice red Stang! - said the guy who has a nice red Stang)
Franklin the Bordernese, may I say that that car looks pretty darn good on you, sir. I bet you like the horns too. I knew it.
ReplyDeleteHahaha! I really laughed over having mom fixed!!!!
ReplyDeleteAs long as they aren't making out in the back seat while you are driving, I say let them be. Besides, with your new access to wheels, you won't be home to see all that gross stuff!
ReplyDeleteI've missed you Franklin! You're an excellent driver. An excellent driver.
ReplyDelete-andi